Transcript
Yeah. Yeah. Oh I like that. Live. From a board chairs. Tariff stained golf pants. Oh, It's an all around. Monday edition of business pants. Joined by analysts Hall. Matt mascardi. Wow, we just found that manic you actually sound very subdued because I on our last show, I couldn't speak very well. So I'm trying to enunciate. I'm trying to get it all out. Properly today. No, I like it when you're hot mess. On today's deep, fake Warren breakfast, buffet called April 7th, 2025 business nuggets. Wow, there's the energy. Wow. You. Got it's gone. It's gone. Our show. Today is being sponsored by free. Float, analytics.com. The only platform measuring board power connections and performance for free for free. Free is the number. How does that help the business model at free float? Well, look, I'm gonna say this up front. No free flow. Analytics, were harmed by a tariff. Okay. Ready for this? Yeah, let's do it got 20 new shiny nuggets. Although one was so, Horrible and decrepit, and moldy and FedEd that we both wrote the same joke. We had to throw it away. I had to throw one away. You kept yours, right? Well, I just yeah, you know because we we have to tell somebody a joke. Somebody actually my first show, it's my first joke. Oh well, I just want to say, yeah, when we write these episodes nuggets, in particular, we don't collaborate, you know stories. We all used I look through stories of my own and I look at yours and then we make our own jokes separate totally separately. If you can call them jokes, we make her own. Whatever. These are. Yeah. And this time I looked at yours as I was putting my stuff up and we had the exact same joke. I did not even funny word. It's not even funny not but the not funny is joke on here. Start us off with it. All right, here we go. in our, Vimeo CEO, Philip Moyers official executive bio uses four adverbs, while the press release, announcing his appointment, a CEO uses, 10 adverbs Headline of the week. Vimeo CEO says not using adverbs helps put the focus on customers. Here's why he thinks it helps companies to not lose their way. That's correct. The hell has Is there? No news anymore. Are we done? Is life. Good matte. Now is everything okay, that this is what. This is the story where riding about, I just like that, the meritocracy slip so low that we, we're, we're busy counting adverbs. Like that's, that's the Merit not using adverse. Yeah. Can you avoid what kind of an ass hole uses an adverb? Other than of course Vimeo CEO who said it? So, confused by all that. All right, moving on. in our, Hey Ma. Oh, I love these. I found even more proof that directors aren't doing their jobs. Is now the time to hold them accountable. Ask iss's, Dad. Whoo, headline of the week. What's behind the rise in interim? CEOs. Matt, I'll tell you guys, I'll tell you what is it? Boards are not doing their succession planning properly there. That's it. Oh, what a story. No, no, that's not fair because they, we know Jamie dimon hasn't had a boss in 20 years. James Gorman, picked his own successor, we know the boards never did it properly. They're just not doing it more obviously. Not properly. Look, I like that. At least the the anecdote that we're constantly screaming about that. How bored or not doing their jobs, at least, when it comes to succession? Planting is now backed up by the data. There are more interns. There you go. There you go. You got it. Once again are dumb. Jokes actually means something eventually. Ten Years Later in our Anti-walk. Maga activists. Reconsider anger directed at Bud Light really headline of the week. Test shows alcohol. Causing long-term. Brain damage? Oh, see. What I'm getting. I say I say I sell it. You did there? Yeah. Yeah I'm sorry Giver. Give her can give Dylan a can who cares? All right. That's that is simultaneously, fabulously transphobic and, Maybe true that would do that. I love that. We still live in a world where we need more tests to show us how horrible alcohol is. Yeah. How horrible most things are? We don't we don't need to stop it alcohol. And in our BP chair. Lund. To stay like lie, forever. After investors eventually lose interest in Elliot's, activist jazz hands. Headline of the week. That's a mouthful that one that is a lot BP chair Lund to exit likely in 2026 amid Elliott campaign. Wow! Likely not even this year, Matt next year, like really like the, the Vimeo CEO would be very disappointed with the use of the adverb. Likely, not only did he say likely but the board of BP. Also, echoed this using the same word saying, likely, is it on a reason. Anyone can say anything definitive about anything? Is this the adverb that the Vimeo Philip? Moyer's, most likely. Yeah, that would be the worst one. And finally, in my first section, I don't even know why we break up these stupid section. Well I don't know anything we do. Why here we're moving fast today. I like it in our ISS. Accidentally makes decision. After analyst mistakenly served caffeinated beverage oh, headline week. ISS recommends against Bank of America's CEO pay. Wow. Oh, did they recommend a vote against the committee? That was the blonde roast at Starbucks. I got the old Jazz, though. I Want to do that sentence too accidentally mistakenly. And now I'm now I'm just, it's all this isn't all, adverb, nuggets show, it's all. I can think about. Thanks to that guy, right over. I'm gonna sit my caffeinated, beverage, here's a few in our who told Grandpa, he could drive, you know, he has cataracts and thinks bicycles are the devil's tools. Seriously, which one of you billionaire said it was okay for him to go for a spin headline of the week. Trump unveils sweeping 10% tariff and reciprocal tariffs on dozens of Nations. Now, we have to remember how we got here. Yeah. We got here because a bunch of billionaires wanted this. This is what they wanted. One, one explicitly wanted it so much. He was paying voters in Pennsylvania, essentially, correct. But this is what the the billionaires asked for which makes the next bit awful funny. In our go ahead. Bill Ackman is positive about Trump tariffs, and economic plans for the United States headline of the week. The usks economic nuclear war. If it doesn't scale back its tariffs immediately Bill Ackman says Okay, so I thought he only spoke out against the black female academics is now, is he speaking out against Trump? Is that possible? No, I think he's confused that Trump might be like maybe the orange on his face. Made him think he was a black man or not of this country. A diversity higher in some way or how about in our Elon Musk United Auto Workers. Agree, tariffs needed to save American car industry headline of the week. Billionaires, including Elon Musk lash out, over global market meltdown, and Trump tariffs. Okay, those are two real. Those are two back-to-back headlines. I didn't make up any of those headlines. Those are not joking. He says, billionaires including Elon Musk, it's billionaires, including Elon Musk, and that's from Four Seasons Forbes. Basically started by a billionaire. The billionaires are all sad. Now they're all sad, they're all sad. Face, can you imagine their list of grievances? Now, the list of grievances with the Biden Administration was like, 60 pages long. Yeah, true about how the market was stacked against them. They had billions of dollars and nobody loved them. They were so angry. Now, they're realizing that I giving a cranky old man. The keys to everything, not our best idea, but Matt Biden was so boring. Boring, his bad. I know in our at least they were from Swarthmore headline of the week. Elon musk's breaks rank, rages against Donald Trump's tariffs. Where's the? That was the headline. Here's the Tweet. Yeah. A PhD and econ from Harvard is a bad thing, not a good thing. The Mercurial CEO tweeted to a clip of Peter Navarro telling CNN, CNN the tariffs were Justified results in the ego brains is the number one problem. It's like Arrow Arrow Arrow. Arrow one problem, they like written by a toddler, he wrote that he wrote results. Elon Musk thinks that because Peter Navarro all this went to Harvard, what's happening, man? It's a bad thing. What's happening and ego ego is the number. One problem Elon Musk said and Harvard educated, Elon, didn't go to Stanford, Stanford educated. I am smarter than all of you asked Elon Musk, says Peter Navarro's ego From Harvard. What is the problem? What world are we living in? Now, I can you imagine if Peter Navarro went to Swarthmore, just imagine it. So this is out of the war and I don't know what you're really trying to reference here. Well, your referencing Charlie Munger right, correct. Yeah, Charlie. But let's not forget, it was Warren Buffett. Like a couple of months ago, who was, who was also attacking ivy league educated people even though the ivy league educated or even know what these guys are talking about anymore. They're just, they're really showing their true dumbness I guess. I well, it's like it's it's an easy line to say like the elite, The Ivy educated Elites are ruining the world, that's an easy toss toss away line. Meanwhile, everybody who says it is, largely Ivy educated, of course, of course, like including the president, who somehow managed to graduate from an ivy school too Wharton. Right, that's patent, isn't it? He went to go to Yale or Princeton, it was one of the two. Yeah, he went to multiple. Ivy league, education and was up against a woman who did not get an Ivy League education in somewhere else? Sure, he won. Yes, because he was fighting the Elite's right? Like, absolutely. All right, going. Come on in our Guys, this one's a bit long, so yeah, strap it brace for it in our guys. What do we think is? 17% too much hands for 17%. All right, okay, how about 19%? Do I earn 20%? Okay, 20%. So we don't care if democracy craters women lose rights, black people are marginalized. Gazer illegal, the government stops working. As long as the stock market doesn't fall, 20% agreed onto the next agenda item. How far do stocks have to fall for us to care about an asteroid hitting the Earth at line of the week? You get all that. Yeah, kind of I think the headline will help. CEOs, had said they'd speak out against Trump. If stocks sink 20% after the latest meltdown, they're still silent but may be ready to act. They're kind of like they remind me of ISS and glass Lewis, they're kind of like they're sitting on their hands their their hanging out in the lounge, I mean, but what 20%, I don't know like what was that number like that's Arbor. They love an arbitrary round. The vit number divisible by 10, you know, that's the thing, right? Like what is that? We're waiting, we have to lose 20%. I just it's not like when you're on summer vacation with your kids and you're like, if this Monopoly game goes beyond midnight, we're gonna go to bed like this. Is it that kind of thing, like, you just making up shit. It just just well, not to mention this, this particular one. They said they would speak out if the stops dropped 20%, they did not say anything about cracking down on everyone who works for them, like no rights for anybody. Government doesn't talk about that anymore. Yeah, like so are only bright. Shiny line was an arbitrary stock, drop number, congratulations CEOs. That's called using all the data so pointless. And finally, for my first round, because I need to stop in our If we change our name to Two Dollar Tree, we fully accounted for tariffs, headline of the week. Yeah. See we're doing Dollar Tree, a dark horse winner and a new tariff world, it's depressing. I tell you that. The first thing I noticed this morning was that all the travel stocks are going down because no one's, you know, everyone's gonna be afraid to travel because it's expensive. And then Dollar Tree is right. That percent today, the horrible plastic junk that is Dollar Tree with like knock off cans of soup loaded with sodium. We'd like rat problems and like worker, abuse, worker abuse, and like, like all their horrible problems. That is up because we're all everyone being porsi now. Supposed to be funny. Yeah, I don't jokes. Now, mine are not nearly as serious as yours. I hate to tell you. I didn't do any tariff humor did? I I don't. That's the end of my tower. That's no more tariffs. All Right. Moving On. We're my oh and our Bill Ackman. Oh you were talking about Bill lockman. Bill Ackman frantically searches for a black woman to blame. But can't find any in Trump musk Administration, headline of the week. Bill Ackman says Trump tariffs will bring an economic nuclear winter. We do the same jokes, we do them, kind of twice. I love when these these these real manly men, you know, the one to go after black women at Harvard they use I love how they use War metaphors and everything right economic nuclear. Winter Seas fire, he's a real man. This guy You gotta love it, Matt, you gotta love it. No, you don't. in our, This is, this is this is an old joke, this is, you gotta bear with me in this one. This is a dated joke. So I hope you remember Hummers. I did, I've back in the day. Yeah, in our Hummer owners. Submit shareholder proposal at GM annual meeting. Requesting that woke D E. I hire CEO. Mary Barra. Is not making their cars. Hateable, enough. And oh, Man, rent cyber truck counts. How many times he gets flipped off in a single day? I like everything. So first of all, I use that headline later but I like everything about everything. You just said the Hummer owners. They're really sad. They're not hated anymore Reigns. The hate most hated cars Uh, you know, I used to be one of the people who used to flip off Hummers but now I'm, I mean, I have to admit, I'm actually a so afraid. Now, like everyone owns a gun that? I I kind of just sneer at Tesla's. Now, I kind of, I mouthed something. Maybe I don't flip them off. Mine's all in my head. My look at that hatred. Look at that. Yeah, look at that asshole. And they're creative guns. I really am. Yeah, well, you have should be Yeah in our speaking of Tesla, and our Tesla chair. Robyn denholm. Finally proves her board independence with an official certificate from NASDAQ featuring 500 in Boston, gold stars headline of the week. It's a lot of gold stars open ai's. New image generator is incredible for creating fraudulent documents. Oh, Matt, this is the dystopia. I never wanted. This is the, this is what happens when you let Middle School school, Tech boys, take over the world. Now, anyone can just create anything fraudulent, any day that a week. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty excited for this. I want, I want to like, like what would you make a fraudulent document? Like document showing that free flows annual revenue as like 10 million dollars? Can you print? Oh yeah, we could do that. That's fired. All the everyone working for the IRS and anyway, Matt, so No One's Gonna check into that if we claim that let's try and our the word. Is. Poor people smell like hot, dog, water. Sorry. Is that two words? Headline of the week. Jamie dimon didn't use a politically charged word in his annual letter last year. He used it five times, but it actually it wasn't poor. People smell like hot dog water. That's what he was thinking. The word was diversity. Matt. Oh divorce. Yeah, he's done. He's done that works. Using done diversity is charts to charge for, you know what, you know, I was thinking like lightning rod Jamie. I was in fact, the other when Jamie's kneeling on the ground, right? Isn't that? That's, that's you get a lightning bolt right through your body, right? Because the current, the charge is gonna go straight through when the lightning rod that is diversity strikes. The Earth? Well, I actually, I was thinking does this mean portfolio diversity as well? Right? Actually, I joking, but that and the word Diversified our two were the words banned in the band word. New York Times. So yes, whenever you're referring to diversifying your portfolio. Or just your your business segments. It will be banned by the Trump musk Administration. So what would you call that if you have more than one type of thing? I we have to like invent the whole language just so You know, we the thought police don't catch us. and finally, in my section of Biz nuggets for April 7th 2025, in our, College Dropout, CEO. Finds truth based evidence to be overwhelming, especially when hung over headline of the week. Mehta. Announces it will officially end fact checking across us platform finally, that it's ending. Fact-checking. Now I think they I think the headline got that wrong, I think they didn't they put in checking, I think they just meant ending facts. Well, two reasons to the laughable reasons, using this articles one. I guess fact checking creates bias. They're worried about the bias with checking facts of all things. And also they complain that that really isn't scalable. They it's not scalable. Matt they can't they can't run their business this way. Matt it's too hard. It's too hard. There's nobody who could make enough money running a business that way, right? Like no. Yeah. Any of the shit to be scalable. That's the funny thing. Nobody nobody, nobody needed any Tech to be scalable. I like the idea that the entire premise of Science is based on basically peer review which is your facts checking that's like they go, they got a true, they test truth and created by Evidence and somebody does peer reviews and checks those facts. It's all they do. And all of like the internet cables that Zuckerberg needs to get his Dopey platforms to us. We're basically build on the science. Peer-reviewed science, of course, was billed on like, the back of a guy named Gus. Who looked at Community notes You asked his friend Jim. What he thought of the, the thing you came up with he told his yeah. He asked his chemistry professor to quiet down so he could check the community notes. This whole thing is so dumb. All right, let's get out of here, I got four more. Let's get out of here. In our Trump, announces more, pardons including partnering the conference table, where enron's Executives used to meet the garden where Martha Stewart Insider traded and the door. Plug itself that fell off of Boeing's plane headline of the week. Trump makes his history by partnering a corporation. The only part that joke got wrong though is that he's never gonna pardon anything to deal with a female. That's true. I struggled with writing that one down. Like, there's no way. He's pardoning Martha Stewart, but She's Stoned a lot now. So maybe he likes her more. Yes. Like I don't know how that works. I don't know. Like a stone ex-convict. Martha Stewart, you know? Yeah, but it's only because the D key on the keyboard fell off. Still, I'm a big fan of I and sometimes e headline of the week. Jamie dimon didn't use a politically charged word in his annual letter last year he used it five times. Oh that's that's why okay see yeah it was Iverson just a couple jokes for their down. Yeah yeah so iversity is okay like Alan. Remember that guy that great player for the Sixers? Allen iversity, he was good. He was really good. in our, Free flow analytics. And now since it's new data set corporate Birds counting the number of times, the company's product is flipped off by customers and mapped to directors to give a middle finger flag for directors, Who oversee High corporate Birds headline of the week. I really love that. Yeah man, red cyber Chuck counts. How many times he gets flipped off in a single day? I didn't read that article. Did he do it as like a political exercise is just to actually collect the data or did? Yeah. Notice. He did as a journalistic exercise? Yeah. Was it before his purpose? Do you know what the number was? He drove around DC. I see the number in there, but but he also said it was biased because he was driving around DC where, like doge is done, basically the most damage. He said everywhere, he went, people were screaming at him or yell like like told him he was driving a Nazi truck. Yes. Like and I don't he actually Stop being able to count because it wasn't just getting flipped to bird. He was getting yelled at so much. This is a great. This is like a new variation of a license plate game. I used to play with my kids. When we go on car trips, I love it. I just think I just like the metric. I just think oh, why don't these like, I need this metric. We go into Stop and Shop or like Target or Walmart or wherever you go and you do some shopping, you see a product? And you're like, fuck, that product, like everybody has like a reaction, you know, with some products. So, maybe down maybe this explains the high PE ratio at Tesla. It's it's the middle finger, the middle finger, the outside middle fingers that they're getting. It actually makes me think, the whole man is fear, is the reverse of this? It's like, I am buying it to give you the middle finger like it's like, man, baby man. Flake, Bros, middle schoolers, who are like, f you world just because, you know, girls have sex with us. I Need to get a hair plugs to look cool. Anyone, anyone buying a Tesla? Now anyone getting a lease on a Tesla now they have to be making that statement, right? Just giving you the middle because there are so many even maybe cheaper. I don't even know that the prices. But there's so many equally good electric vehicles now, better better, of course. Well, of course, they're not, they're not all being recalled every day. So the sides are staying on. So yeah, there's a lot more sighted on other cars. All right, my last one. Yes. Wrap this show up in our RFK Jr. Released the statement saying at least it didn't contain vaccines headline of the week. Two liquid egg Brands recalled over bleach contamination risks? Oh no. Wait, the bleach isn't that good for getting rid of? That's why. RFK said, oh, I came back to see. He was hired about this. I heard the a-hole was actually promoting measles vaccines. Now. Oh, it's somehow magically came to him, that he seems. Yeah. Now he has a job. Someone handed him, a folder that actually gave him the the data behind how vaccine. Well, he's fired. Everyone who had was holding the full. He was just wandering around, he saw a paper on the floor that said it, but yeah. Now, he's now he finally said the most, what did he's in the most effective way to stop? Measles is the vaccine. Thank you to stop musicals would be to fire RFK Jr. In the entire 2 0 0, 0 2 5. Cured basically like we had heard immunity from measles and it only took them three, four months being like being here for it to be a total shit show and a disaster, the news positive. That's what we're gonna end the show. Yeah. Come on. That's it. Send it. That's, that's hazelnut Raleigh. I'm your analysis home at mascara. We are free floats. I am gone. Yes. Next 10 days. Final days is. Yeah. So Damien's on his own. Oh, so you will have just Damian, although we will drop this week a show where I interview Sarah Hahn on foxy countdown show and she talks about the overlap democracy in the political democracy. She's done. Fascinating work about how it's really fabulous, so check that out but otherwise you're on your own with Dan. Hey, if you ever wanted to be on business pants, reach out to us. Now I'm actually serious reach out. Yeah, we looking he's looking for someone to talk to you cuz come to be Boring. Otherwise. Alright. Goodbye.