Transcript
Hello. Live. From an ESG shaped Bill Ackman blow-up doll. Oh yeah. Everything there Manic Monday edition of business pants. I think about that made me feel bad. Join is always by analysts whole Matt mascardi as him talking and today's Cornucopia. Of corporate governance. Delight called January 8th. 2024. Biz nugget, yay! I missed nuggets. I know you. This is why we're doing it. You were now requested it. I now want it every single Monday, for the rest of your life. Well, then you gonna get a lot of really sad, tired. Blockman joke. That's fine. That's what we have today. Run the show, our show today is being sponsored by free flow analytics. The only ESG did it pop for him to measure real board influence and diversity power gaps. In fact, I use both of those data points in one of my horrible Bill Ackman jokes. Did you really or maybe it was a Wayfair joke you used actual data? Yes, I use. None. Okay, well, You're gonna start us off, do you some? We're gonna go back and forth. I realized that before the show I asked you did you do any Bill like me or you Elon Musk jokes? And you're like, not really. I was like yeah, I don't think I did either and then I looked I did five. So I'm I put them all together. So I did, that's all right. I did one act in two months. All right, here we go. Let's do it. In our, the resignation of Harvard president Claudine gay, could have been much less tragic. If she had been a white man headline of the week sound like a joke to me, the Alaska Airlines flight that lost a chunk of the plane mid-flight. Could have been much more tragic if someone was seated next to the door that's okay. Now it does sound like more so. Okay, let's go right to the next one in our the resignation of Harvard president Clawdeen gay could have been much less tragic. If Bill Ackman was seated next to the door in the Alaska, Airlines flight that lost a chunk of the plane made to play Headlines. Yeah, at the week. I don't know. He got a trail of the end. Yeah. You get the joke here. Yeah, you know, this is it the same headline, the same head. You can't petered out at the end, but I like that. I'm not used to this setup. I'm live here in Hartford so I'm getting my bearing. So let's, let's move on from that. Yeah. Do the next one in our white supremacists, hit back at Bill, Ackman, and Elon Musk and Lululemon Founders. Auntie d. E i comments. They do reflect our company views headline of the week. Lululemon hits back at Founders. Anti Dei comments. They do not reflect our company. That's really confusing. That's all this in a train. That was a bounty train. Yeah, the white supremacists. Seem to be contradicting. I know, I'm I struggle with. Do I use the word? Hit twice? Do I shall I change the word hit? Is it going to you? Yeah, I ask you a question. Does John Oliver's team of 30 writers? They would have Workshop that one? They would. Oh, okay. All right. I think all I think I'll just one year old a little bit better than this next one. and now, our Bill Ackman is investigating, whether it is a fake black woman who was hired as part of a fake Dei initiative headline of the week. Oh, Crypto fund appears to have invented a fake CEO to help trick investors. Well, this is actually all Bill Ackman jokes. Really what it's coming down too. and finally, in Elon Musk joke and our In a world where only 0.2% of directors data like it fail to get reelected. We finally found a reason for a board member to not put herself up for election. Oh, and please don't ask if it was a black woman headline of the week. Oh, Elon musk's drug. Use was so concerning it. Prompted, a Tesla director to forego a re-election bid. Wow! Yeah, and it's a director. That would be Linda Johnson rice a black woman. Yes, I was supposed to not ask. Yeah, I just yeah. Linda Johnson rice. So right. So that's the thing by the way. That's the that's the area where someone will. Finally get uncomfortable, Elon Musk if he's too high. Oh well because the anti-Semitism was cool. The the anti-trans, the anti-trans conspiracy theories pretending to take the company. Public working at Nine, Yo's, having seven jobs, okay, losing 40 billion dollars on a new business venture. That no one asked you to do, but he got stone that time and that was, that's uncomfortable. Come on. All right, here we go. In our kids, get in here. It's time for dinner. How many times have I told you not to play with something that fell from the sky? Now, go wash your hands headline of the week, a critical piece of Alaska Airlines Boeing plane found in Portland School teachers backyard. Oh this this better not be my portal. I think it's the other Portland and when you find a Critical piece of any error plane in your backyard. I'm pretty sure that's not speaking of not a good sign in our in 2027, I heard that George RR, Martin plans, to release a new Game of Thrones novel if he hasn't died, but this time he's going to use a black woman to edit the book. That is so fucking woke. I am definitely boycotting that book and everything Martin does from now on Headline of the week. Where are we going with this upcoming Star Wars film attacked as woke by right wing critics. Over directors, feminist comments. A Star Wars film that has not been filmed. Does not have a script has not been made has only a director attached to it in a treatment is already under attack from conservatives. Realize this is all big made up world to. It doesn't really he's not a real world. Yeah I understand that Daisy Ridley might be attached to it again but that is as far as we've gotten they just don't like the fact that the woman who slated to direct it potentially is a Pakistani Canadian woman. That's it. That's enough. She said something about she likes in her movies to make men uncomfortable in 2015 and now that are we full Bill Ackman. When that you're a woman of color you automatically represent. Well, that's kind of the point here. It's so ridiculous. In our white, Justice billionaires are fighting it out for the future of brown, people, and Lady bits who will win headline of the week. Elon Musk and Mark Cuban duel over woke company. Diversity policies. As Dei is on the de Kleine. Wait, is that your joke? The declines know, that's there. The headline, that's a real headline. Why do they need to? Why do they need to joke about the in the headline, why are there doing an acronym joke? Yeah, they're doing it. I don't a riff on acronyms headline. In our, it's impossible for me to get that television unless I take it from you headline of the week. Impossible to create AI tools, like, chat GPT without copyrighted material. Open, AI says, really. They're actually saying, they actually just said they just admitted that they're stealing copyrighted material. Not only did they admit to stealing copyrighted material, but they admitted that everything they built is not possible without doing it. Imagine if you were like YouTube, I want to, I want to really nice television. Yeah, but it's not possible on my salary, so, like, pirated, I'm gonna steal it. Yeah. And then I'm going to tell you, I'm gonna steal the HBO too. It was fine that I stole it because it's impossible because it would have been not possible for me to have it without feeling the company that we're talking about. Open AI where Sam Altman. CEO owns. We just document that we just talked about this. He owns at least like nine properties. Yeah, there is money that they could be buying copyrighted. That's impossible impossible, it's impossible. In our we rate 41st for physical and behavioral health outcomes 42nd for high school graduation in quality of life. 43rd for our economy, 45 for financial stability, 44th for employment all. So we have no ESG Investments. What should we do, guys? Any ideas headline of the week? Why are Kentucky? Conservatives taking aim at woke capitalism ESG. Investing, you know, why those are all real stats? Oh really. They seem to actually have some problems that have nothing to do with ESG. That's high 40s, though. It's pretty good. 40 seconds. That's not bad. That's true. There are 50 states, though. Remember that's so we're not doing great. All right, we'll see how you do better. The second round, this is my musk Acme. Free round. Really? Yeah. I'm not helpful. I'm not either in our, what could go wrong. When someone with covid in a few untreated wounds on their fingers hand, you their unwashed, make America great again, mug headline of the week. I don't like that Starbucks workers. Say, they're worried about the new reusable cup program that what you can use this in the drive through Lane, you can hand them your nasty cup and I guess still fill it up for you. I just seems like just can't work in it. I wish it. You're giving you're giving you your, your handing them something, you're giving them something. Yeah, you're interested in your journey, crap into their restaurant. How long before the Starbucks? Union starts asking for hazmat suits for their employees. Doesn't matter. You Starbucks won't listen. Anyway, that's true Union. That's true. Ah in our hey Ma is it Thursday yet. I'm closing on a new condo in South Beach, tell Dad headline of the week. Top CEOs, will make more in the first four days of 2024 than the average worker makes in a year? Should I did there Thursday? I did Thursday, I got it. Yeah, Thursday is number four. I like that. This kid though, he's a CEO on that joke. Yeah, that's nice. He got elevated. That's not a CEO in my area. And finally, this is my last one is my last name. Joe, I think this is. I think you guys and our it sounds like Niraj Shah Wants you to ignore the fact that Wayfair share price is down over 80% in the last three years from roughly 350 dollars that women on his board. Hold only 9% total data points. Despite the fact that women make 70% of household purchasing decisions and that there is nobody else to blame him his company other than himself and his co-founder co-chair, Cornell, buddy. Yes, they're buddies from Cornell, Stephen Coe nine because they control 76% of the companies, voting power headline of the week. A lot, you need a breaking Wayfair, CEO wants staff to work harder. They should. Okay, I'm just saying but maybe maybe something about him and his buddy. Steve koner are the problem. Maybe we could both them out, make sure you can't vote them out. No control. They control the company. Yeah. And finally, in our, why is Ms Templeton making a silent throat? Slashing gesture in the corner? Look now she's doing the fake gunshot to the head. Make her stop headlines of the week. Microsoft, executive D, Templeton joined open, AI board as a non-voting. Observer should be quiet, right? Matt, not only, will she be a Microsoft representative about these open. I board meeting. She'll have access to all of their confidential information. Oh, But it's fun. It's not really there. She's not there. There. It's observing, she's observing. So, what kind of know, influence? No. Sweat. Just there any sort of disclosure on what kind of notebook she will be using to observe? This is a weird gray area of this world. I mean, I, I almost feel like, isn't it? Better just to put her on as a voting member? Yeah, but there are non-profit, right? So there's no voting I know, but yeah. They they're not allowed to adhere to the bylaws of their nonprofit, right? They can't get rid of Sam Altman because that would ruin the world. But they do have to accept. No no, no, they Microsoft's. They're just gonna they're just gonna fire the women every time they say what that is, what happened? All right, let's round these out. Let's finish this game in our hey, Ma the lights blinking. Again, the turkey's done. Or I'm pregnant. Oh, or it's time for Aunt mods pills or I have cataracts. So life's been blinking for like three hours, tell Dad and land of the week. Boeing jetliner that lost large panel. Mid-air was restricted from flights over water due to warning light. Wait, I helped me out with that one. I so apparently there was a light that was blinking. That was suggesting that the cabin pressure was not correct. When was this blinking? It was blinking for some time and they told the flights to not fly over water. Who told this jetliner Alaska Airlines told him. I'm not sure who if it was the I think it was the FAA, okay? But the FAA actually was also found to have deleted. The flight recorder data from this flight already. So this is a Boeing manufacturing error. Nobody there. They haven't stated that they haven't said that, but let me just say when the warning light goes off in your jetliner. Don't make the answer. Don't fly over water. This time I we had to drive less than a mile. What are we doing? Less than a mile from my home to the train station on my way down here and and the the little orange oil change light, when I freaked out. Yeah, I said to my wife, I said don't ignore the oil like get this fixed immediate fix it and yet they're flying over a body of water, they were gonna fly over water and then they decided Well it's safe for to fly over land this way. When you crash. Wait what? That's right. I'd rather land the water. Well, if you land in the middle of the wall, in the water can you do a good job? Yeah. In the middle of the night now and our now I've got all this Lumber it's time to build it last. By the way, is anyone here a carpenter or does anyone know what we're building? Did someone do any blueprints? Gus said, you knew what you were doing. I don't know what the plan is here. Wait, are we building a barn? Does anyone have any cows? Should we use some mint? For the foundation. Could someone just tell me what to do? Please headline of the week? ESG needs purpose or it's pointless fund managers. Say, this is not working too. They where they, they refer to ESG as a thing, they were not only do they refer to the thing, but fund managers, the ones who basically just used it to sell their funds, right? Are now saying it's pointless without purpose, aren't they hired to basically put purpose to all everything they do, aren't they, aren't they there to give it purpose? That would be like, carpentry analysis. Carpentry is stupid. Unless you know what? You're building says Carpenter. Yeah, maybe it's the first one. You do it. In our thanks for coming to this, open AI All Hands meeting. We have a bit of a crisis when I type in favorite Jew to the AI, it came up with a picture of Jesus so I know. That's right. Okay. But when I typed in Black Bear, the picture was of Don Lemon and he's not even Harry or fat. So clearly we have some problems. Are we stealing the right copyrights here? We need to get this right headline of the week. Generative AI models can. Now create replicas of trademark characters with prompts a simple as video game Italian, you're referring to Mario. Mario is what we may be. Mario is what came up a little confused by this. First of all, how do you know Don Lemon was fired recently? At CNN, maybe he has become a little over. Well, this is a little bit of a gay bear Joe because he is out. And so you see what I'm doing there. And for me, favorite Jew would be, of course, Sandy kofax. Really, why not I went with Jesus. His favorite jewelry. Copac Jesus. Oh God. Come on of the the white Christian favorite Jew, right? That's the winner. Not Cindy go. In our, your tuna fish sandwich is horrible. It's a scandal and a stain on the reputation of our office air quality. It's all in your certainty that I brought tuna fish but with different pickles, my pickles might be lazy but it's certainly not a crime. Your tuna fish is the root cause of anti-Semitism headline of the week. Bill Ackman says, it is a near certainty that academics will improperly cite others work after his wife admitted to plagiarism. I, I wanted to avoid this story completely you can't. Yeah, it's gonna be near a near certain so that it's because his wife Did something improper. It's a near certain that everyone is doing the same. So now he's saying that if I used ai ai which has been proven over and over and over again to get pretty much everything wrong. In fact there was study about using AI for giving something about diagnosing kids for medicine or something like that 85% wrong. Yeah 85%. So he's saying if I used AI on academic papers, it would near certainty that everyone is plagiarized in. Academia is what he's saying yeah. As a defense against his wife having to say that she plagiarized, when Business Insider put out, it's a report. Now this is inside out a report looking at plagiarism and Bill Acton's wife because Bill Ackman. Attacked clone gay for plagiarism. And then Bill Ackman said, how dare you, you didn't give me enough time. You didn't respect my family because it was Friday night. What was there, but there was in that statement, was there an apology for the fact that Claudia had so many death threats and so much just to talk about just the wife's paper. Yeah, but now he's justifying it saying that everybody plagiarizes, it's natural, that is gonna be some laziness. You're gonna miss a, he said you're going to miss a quotation here. Like, well, I don't Marks here in that I don't want to like I have no interest in crapping on his wife, but I don't care about his wife. I did peek at the article and there were a whole paragraphs lifted directly from Wikipedia of all things. Yeah, Wicked is the One Source in Academia. You, never lose seriously, but forget his wife. I'm just saying it's, it's not like you're forgetting a passage. It's lifting a whole entire paragraph. He is basically a walking like, moral flexibility when it's, it's in your backyard. It's a stain on my reputation, which is exactly what he said to Claudine gay, and why she should get But when it's my wife, it's not a stain on our reputation, it's just okay. Everyone's casual, everyone's doing it. I'm gonna find it everywhere. Just like when Clawdeen gay and all the female presidents of colleges don't forcefully enough, condemn Hamas, their anti-semitic, but when Elon Musk says something actually anti-semitic, he's just shooting from the hip. It's just, yeah, I'll tell you that as much as I hate the misogyny and the racism, it's the it's the Elon Musk. Does it feel like when does it others do it? It's this redefinition of like, modern day truth, that bugs me the most, it's a Gaslight. Like by saying that by saying, by saying things and earnestly saying, that things are a near certain certainty because he thinks it's, so that's the part that Riles me like the most, I don't know. Well, let's wrap this up with something free this last. Yeah, and so we'll go with us, okay? And our In a press release the board stated, we are aware of issues regarding potential substance abuse during company events by our CEO. However, we stress that the company events in question, were this specific company. It was the CEOs, other company all. So our CEOs brother has a tested to the fact that they only occasionally used drugs. But only after the company went to sleep, so it's fine. All right, headline of the week, SpaceX Executives worried Elon Musk was on drugs during cringe-worthy. All hands meeting Wall, Street Journal reports. There is a massive Wall Street Journal article like article about Elon musk's drug use or alleged drug use specifically at SpaceX at every company everywhere. And now the board is in a conundrum. So how are they going to do? Nothing and explain it. Is he in full like Donald Trump territory worth? Remember the old joke, was that he could literally kill someone with that Avenue? Is that where we are with that? Well, I mean, he do as a, as a CEO of a publicly traded company. What could he do wrong to actually be removed at this point? It would be really hard for me to think of something not to mention that there are. I just pulled an article last night Tesla saying that. Yes, that the ranges that they reported on their cars are lies. That's did they really? Yeah, I mean so that is a constant amount of those type of headlines, too. So it's not, you know what I mean? Like, what will it take? This is fabulous. I No, I'm asking, what will nothing? There's nothing you can do, okay? I mean like, look, you don't put your brother and your best friend on the board of your publicly traded company. That's one of the four or five highest valued companies in the world. If you didn't expect them to do nothing every time. Well, you tried, ketamine is, why I was interesting with Linda Johnson rice, who supposedly did not stand for re-election, because of Elon must Behavior. She also probably knew full well that remaining on the board and trying to change it from within was pointless. It's pointless, because, yeah, you are literally staring across the board table at the CEOs, brother of all things who has no relevant expertise to that company. Oh, she shouldn't be there. None. Not. But he's not. So I guess he can keep on that board is the VC that funded test Tesla, his brother and his best friend who he was recording them and Kimball's presence on. The board has nothing to do with a Dei initiative so it gets its fine. Right? Would that be? I mean, including my family might be, right? It's just the D and the E that we don't like we really don't like diversity and Equity. We like I will tell you today is fine, wrap up the show, Bill Clinton comes out today. And says you know what? I'm going to stand by everything I'm saying, but I think because of how I talk about Dei, we should at least fire kimbal musk. If he comes out today and says we should the fireball must then I'll be okay with everything Blackman does. Okay, I won't be a promise you that's it. That's hazelnut Rallis. I am your analyst home at Miss cardi. We are free float. We'll be back again on Wednesday with a woke Wednesday show. It never ends here and Thursday. We've got a proxy countdown show Big, big proxy countdown. That's our other show. We got big boats coming up. In fact, if you're missing the proxy countdown, I don't really know why, you know, what are you doing? What you're wasting your life, you fun managers who are don't know how to do your jobs, don't understand purpose when you listen to her, let me ask you something. Do you think that's a soft cell or a hard sell to the fund managers? Still listen to the show? We'll be back. Soon, until then good.