Transcript
it really it works like every time that live from the middle of brightly painted crosswalks. You know what that means. Hey Are you coming? I I feel like your microphone's still rung. I know we're alive now, but you might as well. I'll finish the intro for the first time. It's an all new terrific Tuesday edition of Business Pants, joined by Hazelnut Damian Rollis on today's steaming pile of happiness. A steaming pile of happiness called August 25th, 2026. The good Yeah, you go. Yeah our show today is being sponsored by Well who's sponsoring our show? I was just about to say who is sponsoring our show. Yay, Mike is alright, yeah. Yeah. Our show today. Yeah, you were right. Our show today is being sponsored by Freeflow Analytics and Freeflow Analytics dot com. Wait yeah. Still. It's the last day of summer for me. So 'cause my kids have school tomorrow. August twenty sixth is the the school first day of school. Feels like it gets earlier every single year. You know I didn't notice about the new platform is I'm looking at Newmark Group. Why, I don't know why. their their logo is an N. I wonder I wonder how many marketing if people it took to come up with that. I like that right at the top says annual meeting is coming up in less than three weeks. Sect sept September sixteenth. I didn't really know that was a feature. It's nice, I like that. Not only is that a feature, but in the bottom right hand corner it the data as of date went from July twentieth to August twenty second. That everything's updated. The data's updated. It's like it's really magical. I don't like I know that, you know, like people have platforms and do stuff, but I I I this is this is a mag this is magic. This is better. It's magic to me. Nice. Beautiful. Yeah. This is better. Yeah. And cheaper than what you're paying for. Alright, let's let's let's get to it. We have a lot. Unless you have something else profound to say. I yeah, let's get right to it. You got like nine I always do not, so go ahead. Well, you know, it i we're wrapping up the summary here. I I looked at all of the headlines from August and I thought w we we just needed we needed a boost. Yeah, we need a mental boost. There's a lot of weird stuff going on in the world, AI, like hundred and ten degree weather and so l we need a boost. So yeah. We need to feel good about ourselves. Also, didn't didn't Trump just like w the Supreme Court just like bowed to his royal man baby and said we c you can slow down v mail in voting. yeah, or while we watch eroti democracy erode, AI take over everything, the destruction of human minds, we we could use a boost. We could use a boost. All right. no. Okay, see you You're ruining it. You're ruining it. Alright, here we go. I broke up into categories so you can play along at home. The first category is G. That's the Yeah. G is for governance. Here we go. United Health shareholders sue company over corporate governance failures on a historic scale. Does anybody play along at home? Got it. Okay. Yeah. you know the you know who the the lawsuit was brought by? A Swedish pension fund and the Rhode Island pension fund. Yeah, Rhode Island. Rhode Island brought it in part because they've been tangling with United Health. I'm a Rhode Island native, so like that's why I care. They've been tangling with United Health because United Health shut off Medicare coverage for all Rhode Island hospitals. It just Wow. Yes. like two years ago it was just like not gonna cover it. And Rhode Island was like, What the fuck? What do you mean you're not gonna cover it? You're not gonna what are you doing? And turns out they were doing Medicare fraud, so that might be you know, like a nice little I I love this. I think that they should sue United Health out of existence. ten. Well Yes, they should. Yeah. And well, to me I picked this not just because of United Health, but because if if corporate governance matters during times of fraud and and company failure, or if it matters when an activist investor's come along, that means it matters always. That's what it means. Always. Every day. Even if your company's boring, yeah. Well y that's all that that's one not only is not only is that a hundred percent true, but it's also they're the SEC has backed off of doing anything related to corporate governance and shareholder rights. So so this is what this is what you got you gotta get aggressive, people. Get aggressive. Which means investors can try to be more active. S speaking of which, speaking of which, the second one is the same kind of topic, but just it triggered me so I added it. you but well first I'll ask you if it's good or bad. UBS fined record a hundred and twenty five million dollars for money laundering violations. that's a record? That seems like a rounding error. I does seem low. Here's the part. Here's the thing, and it made me think of corporate governance. this is for willful violations. They actually admitted to it because this is the second time they've been caught for it, right? what's crazy to me is that they failed to monitor more than fifty thousand foreign currency wires with a combined value exceeding ten billion dollars. Now, here's why I was thinking about corporate governance in the case of UBS is How d how does the board how does the board keep its job? How how are they not how is the fine also not a a forced like dissolution of the board? Like how this is crazy to me. Willful violations of the Bank Secrecy Act. I mean, this is bad. I but it's a record fine, so are we feeling good? I'm with you. I feel like I like with any like fine where they ha they they do admit wrongdoing, which is so rare, the entire board should be immediately fired. Like as part of like I'm with you. Like they shouldn't exist anymore. I I like the willful part of this. but Yeah which is so rare. Yes. It was only eight years ago that they got this happened. Only eight years ago. But but this but it's also like it's still a rounding error for them. It's like nothing there is no real accountability. They're just it's just willful. I'm gonna give this a six as a result. Yeah, it's it's a slap in the wrist. Yeah. SEC launches new enforcement unit aimed at accounting fraud. I know, right? I I don't this one shocked me. so they're gonna it's gonna be staffed by attorneys and accountants with specialized skills related to financial reporting, accounting, and auditing. How? There's two things that jump to mind for this. Number one, the likelihood that they target like a massive company is what near zero? I mean Yeah, that's doesn't it feel like it's already gonna get weaponized somehow or like some mid cap like they're gonna target like left wing companies? Still shocked. I thought this was incredible that they're still doing something. Number two, I bet you I bet you the only thing they like somehow find a way to to to target is non profits, like but number two, didn't the SEC literally just put out a thing a a statement saying they were no longer going to look at shareholder proposals ever again because they were too busy? Okay. And they they wha what was even worse to me is that they like they the shell companies, they weren't you didn't have to disclose like information. That that's worse to me. I I Yep, no sh no shell companies. Yeah. I I know, that is worse. But like they they basically are backing off of doing any regulation and their excuse constantly is we're too busy. but they ha they're not too busy to go hire a bunch of new accountants and start it like a like clearly that's all it's all make believe. It's all make believe. I know. I mean I like what Rebecca Fike said she's at Reed Smith and she was quoting this article. She she said that given the SEC's current deregulatory focus under your favorite Paul Atkins, she said the announcement is quote a little surprising. Yeah. I just thought it was funny. and then finally something we talked about earlier, and Dresden Horowitz focus of Department of Justice probe over A little, a little. I'm gonna give this a five 'cause I don't trust it anymore. board directors basically looking into like tr monopolies and again another thing that really surprised me but I gotta give it credit. What what do you think? Good? Yeah, cross directorships, yeah, over competitors. I I just like that somebody I I know it's this Department of Justice. You can't trust anything about this administration period, right? Like but I what I I just like that somebody's talking about the board of directors and the fact that they ha they A have some sort of power, as in like they're it it it matters enough to enforce something, right? Like No, that's true. Yeah, exactly. Clearly a lot. If the DOJ's knocking that that there is a lot of power, yeah. Yeah, and and and and B like we're bringing recognition to the fact that they are human beings, and you could talk to them and they do shit, right? Like they do shitty things. I'm gonna give it a seven. That you can talk to about things, ask questions. Yeah. All right, let's move over to our big data and AI B S category. Ooh, I love some BS. this first one is good. This this made me laugh. Gwyneth Paltrow is rumored to be throwing a party for AI mogul Sam Altman and people don't love the optics. Now the reason I picked this one is because everything Sam does is bad. And Gwyneth Paltrow, if you remember, was the one she played Rebecca Newman, the wife of Adam Newman in the We Work movies. The the We Work series. Okay, what is this? There were WeWork movies? Yeah, there was a WeWorks a great it was actually great. It was a I think it was on Hulu about the demise of WeWork, the rise in demise. And R Rebecca Newman and Adam Newman really were the ones who who in the in the infamous now the now infamous filing, the S one filing with these these bizarre corporate governance structure laid out, really they're the ones she's kind of the one that helped bring it all down, right? Because The w the company was gonna be given to her right? If I Yeah. Y she she was going to inherit the super voting shares from Adam Newman if he died, despite having no role at the company at all. It would just it was like pure royalty. Yeah. Yes, pure royalty. Anyway, I just thought it was funny. Like Sam Altman just does everything wrong. I just thought it was cute. I I just love Sam. He just he j not to mention that G Not to mention that Gwyneth is, you know, she's like just like Sam. She's like the least liked person in America. So I j I don't know. I just thought this was cute. You you don't have to spend any time with this one. I like this. Okay, alright. Let's move quickly. Anthropic is embedding invisible watermarks in clawed text in images. No Well Is this Sam doing it wrong or Gweneth? yeah, it's a five. I could care less. I love it and I think they should be visible too. I think you should I think it should be a c like it should just say clawed on every image. I like I go nuts. Yeah, this seems important. You know what? This might be I I know like ten, twenty years ago this whole this whole argument is gonna be f for naught because people are gonna we're just gonna be completely dominated by AI and people are gonna forget the good old days when we were trying to stop it. But I think this is one of the few things I've heard that actually made me feel somewhat okay, is that if if if you can watermark every fake thing 'cause there's already been a a a sense that the people don't like it, they don't want it, they don't want you to cheat, they don't they they They won't buy like AIR. They're just not interested. So if we could get to a point where we're we actually knew that would be a something, right? Sure. I I just I'm gonna take this one fr at face value and just just like the idea that it's a it's a nine. I like this. Okay. All right. Sure. What's your score? young people young people hate AICOs so passionately that it's almost hard to believe. That's that's a fun headline. All right. Yeah, don't e you don't have to tell me more. Ten. Thank you, young people. Finally, something I can get on board with this generation. it is true, it is weird how like the the I don't know what the the generation that's like in their early twenties, teens, they really do hate AI. But I told my daughter that like I I've used AI to do some coding and she was like, That's horrible for the environment and it like you should just learn it yourself. Don't be an idiot and I was like, Wow, I good good. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Yeah. Yeah, sh sh She's not wrong. Okay, I'll at least give you the list of the some of the people looking at tell me who you think was the most the least trusted and the most trusted. so we have Sam Altman, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Satya Nadella, a and Alex Karp. So those are the only ones I see in the list. Who's the who who who's the most trusted? wow. Satchin Adela. I mean, it's like the obvious that he's the only semi adult in the room and he's not he barely qualifies. Yes, of course, right? Yeah. Although it says albeit with a pitiful thirty five percent trust score. But that but that's pretty good. Now who's the now who who's clearly paying attention to to business pants? That's really bad. Okay, I don't think anyone any anyone I don't think anyone knows who Alex Carp is. So I'm not I'm gonna I'm gonna skip Alex Carp. I like it's got it comes down to Musk has such a cult following. Peter Teal. I don't think anyone knows who Peter Thiel is, really, either. So I'm gonna say Carp and Teal are kind of off the table. Musk has such a cult following that he's probably like the next one below Nadella. It comes down to Zucker Altman, because those are the ones who are like and Peter Teal. Peter Teal's in the list too. Literally there are profiles about how they're psychopaths, right? Like they're untrustworth. I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Altman actually, 'cause he's just in the news. True. Well, so here's where you're you're you're not giving the credit to the young people is they're clearly listening to business pants. The two they they trust the least are at at number one, Alex Carp, number two, Peter Teal. I mean they real they really as much as we love to hate Zuck and Musk and Altman, and believe me we do, Tea Teal and Carp are in a whole nother level of like evil. I we don't know I mean it's a l it's a little weird. Peter Teal, I mean, that's just a strange man. Wow, alright. I would have to you know what that that survey, I would have to see the survey because it must say like Alex Carp, CEO of Palantir, the defense contractor using AI with drones to destroy you, right? Like it has to like say that because who knows who he is. Mm-hmm. Probably, probably. Yeah. True. Meta others lose appeal to drop thousands of social media addiction lawsuits. So this includes Meta, Bite Dances, TikTok and other outlets. So the not only do they have to go through with those, but the court also in the same week denied Meta's request to po to postpone the trial that ta that started this week. so like a double blow there. And yes, of course the judge was a woman, but that's I was gonna ask, is the jud is the judge a woman? it's a t it's a ten. It's a ten. Keep losing. I like look, you are doing the good game right now when I I'm like halfway through my giant coffee, so I'm like max Yeah, okay, but but let's forget about that. What do you think about this? Losing loo they're just losing. Okay, well so I I you know what I actually spent way too much time on this week's show. I I really did try to eliminate my need for like sarcasm and and my need for it to like point out the stupid and the absurd and I really just try to go I really needed I did 'cause I know a lot of our shows get v g very quickly into this like ranty, like woe is me kinda No, not us. All right. Something good. What are you talking about? That's not that's not true. AI data center outrage is showing up everywhere from ads to elections. I mean this is inevitable, but like I I I only t wake me up after the midterms when you vote out every single Conservative who backed it. Yeah, I know seven. It's a seven for now. All right. That's true. That's true. Sp th this one I picked because I just felt like what a win for unions, right? I mean I'm s I I just I'm sick of living in this world where workers are not re represented, but this is good. Spirit flight attendance fight Google's data bid for AI. So we haven't covered the story, but Google very creepily bought all of the old emails, the workers' emails after Spirit Airlines went bankrupt. That's weird. And the flight right? 'Cause they want, of course, they want to train their stupid AI with it, just like, you know, Amazon's like destroying rare books to train their AI. And the flight attendant union was like, wait a minute. there's gonna be a lot of confidential personal information in there, so not so fast. Like we're gonna f and I thought to myself, you couldn't fight this if you didn't have collective representation. You'd be screwed. not only could you not fight it, you'd mostly have no idea, right? Like after a bankruptcy, like are you thinking at all about that email you sent six years ago? Like like you never would. this is this is great, but I actually don't think this is good because it's mostly terrifying. Like like I I mean I'm gonna give it a five because it it's like good for them, but also this is gotta be this isn't can't be the first time. That's true. No. Of course not. No, I know. I I knew this one was on the edge. Right, like th this isn't like something they were like woke up and they were like, this I got a great idea and this bankruptcy sale. Like, let's get that. No, God no. God no. No, it's only it's being publicized because we're at a point in our collective history where we have outrage against AI. That's why this is being reported. I mean, is there I like having no evidence of this whatsoever, is there would would we know if the mothership when we worked there sold all emails from, you know, seven pl you know years ago and before and just sold them? Like it's their emails, right? They could just do that and train the AI. What that's that's fucking horrific. It's there's a reason why I'm not on social media. It's because of this and they still you still can't escape. No, it's their right. It's their right, right? It might be unethical, but it's totally legal. Totally legal. Yeah. And nobody wants to talk to you. let's move to our culture wars. Yeah, that's that's also true. we weren't in the culture wars? No, I know. No, that was a that was big data and AI BS. Let's go to Cultural Wars. Remember the MAGA alternative to Amazon, something called Public Square that the Public Square you covered this a lot. W well, you're not gonna like this headline. The MAGA alternative to Ma Amazon is fighting for survival after nearly a hundred and sixty million dollars in losses and a ninety nine percent s stock crash. It's a so it's a t it's a total failure. yeah I love them, yeah. Course they're f if What a dumb idea in the first place. I remember actually when we covered them, didn't we like cover things that were on the like that you could buy there? And it was like, you know, like it was like kill kill a liberal coffee and you know, like you know, a rubber chicken with die Biden on it, right? Like it was like it was so insane. Yeah. Yeah. Poor quality, overpriced. Yeah, yeah, like But they cost like eighty dollars or something. Yeah, I think this was this was Donald Trump Junior, I think. Well, it's because they're not actually good at anything. They just they're what they're really good at is nepograft. They're not really good at actually building something and doing something with it. Yeah. He he probably got quite a lot of money in initial investment and then when the stock crashed he probably already sold out or something. So yeah. So what's the score on that failing? on that failing I mean, that was inevitable. It's a five. I like I'm not I I'm not I can't celebrate that because it was like I enjoyed having them around so much. How about this twist? I guess this is what happens when the country starts to collectively hate Donald Trump, but Disney is suing the FCC in a departure from former CEO Bob Iger strategy. So Disney's being and this is all about just this this Jimmy Kimmel nonsense. Jimmy Kimmel made fun of Donald Trump. Well, everyone makes fun of him, but I don't know why he hates Jimmy Kimmel so much. And then he got the FCC basically to try to take away the licenses. Well, I can't take a joke, Wang. From ABC owned stations. And remember that it wasn't that long ago that that Jimmy was taken off the air by ABC. So ABC really Disney has they've turned this around. I mean, now they're fighting, but before they were like, we don't know what to do. Yeah, of course. And that was Bob Auger at the time, right? We said they should fight at the time. Like I I Well Iger's still a special advisor on the board. He's still on the board. so c clearly he is either being overridden, right? Like now, or or he's just not showing up to meetings and they're making decisions without him. Cause he probably is busy trying to find twelve billion dollars for the Lakers. I Not his choice then. Yeah. He bought the Lakers. Yeah. I I mean th this this is what they should have done in the first place. I I I it's a five. I l I can't I'm not gonna celebrate the fact that they're finally doing what they fucking should've done, you know, a year ago. Yeah, of course, of course. And that and was it as we said at the time, that was an easy layup, v you're just fighting the first amendment. I mean, that's like an easy one. That was such a win at the time. Yeah, like nobody like nobody could like Kimmel, but not even conservative Ted Cruz came out and said it was a horrible idea. Like nobody thought it was a good idea. Disney had a layup and they fucking d like b bo they didn't even go for it. They basically sat on the bench. this next one is mostly about Costco but some other companies. This I always struggle of reading this headline. I'm gonna give it shot. US firms that kept DEI policies despite go woke go broke threats thrived. Yeah, that's a weirdly yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. It's just a weirdly worded yeah, this is also obvious. This is every every firm that d like this is why we said at the time, if a company is like backing off its diversity strategy, if they're like removing policies, they're backing off, they're caving to internet troll man baby, you know, Robbie Starbuck. If the if they're doing that, they were never fucking serious in the first place. You you what I'm saying? Yeah. And they're basically, you know, like they're basically willing to capitulate to any pressure of any kind because Costco came out Do you remember Costco's one of Costco's directors directors came out and said, Are you guys see are like this is one of the best strategies we've ever had. Are you morons? What are you doing? Like we're never gonna fold this. This is fabulous for us. And Costco fought it and Costco's winning. Of course they're winning because they're better. It was sad, yeah. It was sad how how few fought back. A director, yeah. Yeah. And they have people who wanna work there. You go to a Costco, everyone like high fives you on the way in. They're so happy to be there. I this was obvious. I'm not gonna celebrate it because it's obvious. Mostly I wanna shit on all the companies that that backtracked, so I'm gonna give it a five. Yeah. It is said there was a I think from the Wall Street Journal this week or last week about how every company essentially has given up their their the whole diversity pledges and it it is remarkable, right? It's it's I mean it and and finally Ellison. I love this headline but 'cause it says 'cause it says Ellison. Now it's like is it Larry? Is it David? It's gotta be Larry, right? Ellison That such babies. Like, d do a thing and stick with it. I I already don't like it. But here's why I think it's it could be good. Ellison is now willing to sell CNN to save his a hundred and eleven billion dollar deal. Now, that was one of the the things that a lot of people were most angry about was that the the Ellison boys are taking over CNN and there goes a you know, another media outlet. That's yeah, that that's over. That's already over, yeah. I thought they were angry about sixty minutes too. Although they already gutted sixty minutes. Barry Weiss's an hour was running. That's over. It's done. I I I guess I mean who who who's giving him pressure? Like is it this g is is it the administration who's saying you should really sell CNN or is this just part of the attorneys general thing, the California f lawsuit? Okay. Alright. Another five. No, it's it's a l well, it's most yes, it's mostly the the state attorneys general who are fighting back. Okay, so once again somebody had to sue in order for any due diligence to be done. Is there a reason why like we have to wait for imminent disaster and then someone says, I will file a lawsuit to avoid imminent disaster? Why do we have to get to that point every single time? What is that? I I I'm gonna give this a five. I dunno I'm so annoyed. I d I didn't it had nothing to do with a good game, but I was thinking a lot about headlines the other day, of course, because that's like basically my entire job. but I what it was interesting to me is that this cause this one says Ellison, right? Ellison is now willing. Now there was a story about Mark Ruffalo, the actor, and and the headline was that Paramount called Mark Ruffalo an anti semite because Mark was you know, support he was he was taking ant yeah, he was wh what he was doing was taking an an he was against the right wing militaristic government in Israel and and Paramount was complaining that as anti Semitism, which is not what anti Semitism is, by the way. But that's not the point. The point is that I was thinking to myself, who is Paramount? What do they mean paramount? Par He was doing one of those Gaza or Pa Palestinian It's just w it's just one guy. And his dad. Paramount is calling Mark Ruffalo an anti Semite? Like, how absurd is that that we still live in that world? Like, we have to be able to name it's no, it's Larry Ellison and David Ellison are calling Mark Ruffalo an anti-Semite. That that's who Paramount is. Yeah, all right, let's move on. We'll go to E, the environment. solar panels on storage units. Illinois going all in on this no-brainer. I there's nothing I hate more than storage units. Yeah. It's dad it's daddy and and baby. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I I I really think they're the worst of America. And I and I even I didn't think of this one. We should just mandate solar panels and storage units. So I gotta give Illinois credit here. What do you think? I I mean, I guess. I also hate storage units. Like, why do we have so much shit we need to rent space all out of our giant houses? I mean that Stupidest thing ever. Dumbest. Yeah. Horrible. And now some of them are I went in one with a buddy not too long ago in like the Westchester area. This thing was like nicer than a hotel. I mean there was like a there was concierge, it was air conditioned, there was a lounge. I was just like, what the he like what is this? Yeah, it was real I was like Yes, they they did. They served coffee. I A lounge. A lounge? They serve coffee. Yeah. That's so nuts. That's so dumb. I'm gonna give it a six. I know. Well that's maybe that's Westchester. I don't know. What do you think about that? first test flight of largest all electric aircraft use just five dollars of electricity. I love that one. I I I I I love that. I'm gonna give it an eight. I I th I have no notes. what are we waiting for? What are we waiting for on this one? Why w I mean that the EVs are we've talked about how we both own EVs and we we talk about a lot how much we love them. Like what are we waiting for here? If you can do it, do it. I I d I I I well they couldn't I w I I'm just waiting for them to go public via a spec, and I can finally buy it. you're probably not gonna you can kinda call this reversing stupidity, but Trump ordered to release billions in climate grants meant for black communities. So this was from so Joe Biden created this initiative, three billion dollars for black, low income, and disadvantaged communities. And of course Trump, you know, got rid of it and then that now they're they're finally saying 'cause again they someone had to sue to get it reinstated, yeah. Of course they had to sue. I just this it's just constant fives. It's like we're just constantly reversing stupidity. Alright, five. Trump tried to curb clean energy, but it's booming anyway. Cl clean energy additions will rise by a record fifty five gigawatts this year. Yeah, twenty f this increase is roughly twenty five percent higher than the record set in twenty twenty four. Yeah. Ten. my like my individual portfolio, all I did was like buy batteries and solar power 'cause I was like, 'cause this Iran war inevitably we're gonna go to war. So I bought it all before. And the Iran war is gonna make everything horrible for everybody else. I might as well profit from what everybody's going to need. And it's been great. It's been fabulous. Yeah. Right. Well we always we've been saying that for years. It's like stop turning this into a culture worb because it's not. Just figure yeah, figure out how to make money from it and we can all like save the planet together. Never. It's not. I have no idea. Dumbest thing ever. It's just money. I I when did ener like like energy from the sun become woke? Like literally it's like d we love new technology and like new fangled gadgets. And then finally a nerdy one before we get to our speed round. it just got way easier to sue fossil fuel companies over climate change is the headline. this might be a bit optimistic, but who knows? So, this is about a study, it's basically climate attribution science. there's a new study out of the Indiana University's O'Neill School of Public and Environmental Affairs, which in a nutshell, this guy, Christopher Callahan. He can basically draw a straight line from single corporate emitters like Exxon or Chevron or to specific heat waves or areas of you know of extreme weather. So it so they've so for years, this has been how corporations have fought back these lawsuits. They've been saying, like, prove it. Like you you can't prove it, so you suck. And and the what they're saying is that this is really as close as we've come to to Wow. to actually making a case that no, no, we can we can prove this one. Like like there are scientific models to prove this. And I know we live in an age where the entire federal government thinks science is like akin to, you know, worshipping a seven headed Jesus, but it is I think actually science might be still real. So there you go. Is it this give you hope? Or you think it's a bit po bit optimistic, you think? di I feel like what it does is give something that everyone can cite in lawsuits and that's the point, right? Like it's it is peer reviewed. I don't know how many peers have reviewed it or whether or not it's been like yeah, but but I like look it it Well, that's important, right? It was Doug and Gus. Yeah. In a jury case though, right? I r Alright come on. It's fine. It's fine. It's good. I I just I hate I'm so done with having to sue everybody to get anything actually to happa happen correctly. I'm just I'm done that we're fighting for any of this to to be considered common sense. I'll give it a I'll give it a seven. I'll give it a seven. I'll I'll be optimistic. Alright, let's go to our speed round. We're making actually pretty good time here. I I think it's good to do this game in the morning because you're too tired to kind of go off on rants and tangents. speed round. No particular order. None of these, you know, are are you know, they're all s whatever. Who cares? I might why am I explaining the speed round? Duck DuckGo. You've heard of Duck DuckGo, right? I actually use whenever I don't use AI a ton, but I'm I'm getting like hopped up, really, is what it is. I don't know, speedrun. I don't want a speed run it is go faster. Yeah, of course. I use duck dot AI because they don't they don't save anything. They don't save your conversation. I didn't even know they existed, so that's good. Yeah. I don't know what what model they use, what like AI chat agent but but what but but most importantly they just there's no record of of of you. You know what I mean? Anyway, Duck DuckGo is selling anti pervert glasses that contain zero AI cameras or even electronics whatsoever. Yeah. I know. I just thought it was I just thought it was f stupid and funny, yeah. That's They're probably using open source, yeah. Are those just called glasses? I'm very I'm very confused about this. All right, I'll give it a I'll give it a six 'cause I like la I wear glasses. I guess they're just selling glasses. I mean unfortunately unfortunately we live in an age where like y yeah, y you kinda have to distinguish, right? These are the these are the anti pervert. These are not the pervert ones. Like these are just normal Yeah, here's a quote from the article that I just opened. The company partnered with sunglasses maker Knock Around to create the quote world's most innovative anti surveillance glasses or quote normal fucking sunglasses. That's what it says in the article. I I I revise. It's a nine. It's a nine. Yeah, I mean I I can't believe that that's the world I want to live in now is just getting back to normal fucking sunglasses. Jason Kelsey, you you know who Jason Kelsey is? Yeah, no, no, no. Sorry. Brother in law of Taylor Swift is what you meant to say. Jason Kelsey wants fans to pee on computers to protest AI water use. We want your pee. That that is just bizarre. Why I Yeah, yeah, brother of Travis, yeah. sorry, my my mistake. That's d the level of dumb that is. Right? This is AI what is happening here? I I don't I mean, I do laugh at it, but w what is this like the is this the jock is this how a jock fights back? Like here at the company we have like we have crazy mad geniuses making like platforms of of like twenty five million directors and and we're this is the our version of fighting back, but Jason Kelsey's saying, Hey, just pee on stuff I'm giving that a three. I I don't Look. But isn't this Just take a crap on something. W maybe we should go and take a crap on a director. Maybe that would But isn't isn't this isn't this the this is the the Kid Rock way of dealing with a problem. You shoot the can. Shoot the can of Bud Light. This is a this is a two. I don't care. Right, just like shooting a can. Alright. Cards Against Humanity unveils sad little bitch Elon Musk Monument near Texas Starbase. I I I so I love this. Also can't find a picture of the monument. Well I don't think they built it yet. Well they say unveil, but is it has it been erected already? I don't even know the answer to that. Yeah. Yeah. so what are we talking about it for? I I wanted to see a picture of it. That's all I wanna see. Don't tell me that you're they they announced they have plans to erect it. five. I it's great. Yes. But let's be let's be honest, when you look at Elon Musk, don't you also see a sad little bitch? Like y do you need a statue for that? why is it why are we just w why first of all, why are we just doing Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Sam Altman? There's a lot of them you could do. You could just make a Mount Rushmore of sad little bitches. And then then we should send Jason Kelsey to go pee on those statues and then then then we're winning. But otherwise it's it's a five. It's a five. Yeah, good point. Yeah. Cause he has to pee anyway, right? France back to France, it's always France. France bans unsolicited telemarketing calls, eighty seven thousand dollar fine per call. I like that number. I I don't ha how yeah. I how how do they like find is aren't those like telemarketing calls from like a guy in you know like underground in Madagascar? Like you wanna know who they are. Like how are we finding them? I don't Yeah. I don't know. I like it though. Banning I like banning things that piss me off. All right, it's a seven. It's a seven. That's that's one of the things that mom Donnie's going after in New York City is the what do they call they call it the annoyance culture, the annoyance economy, the th like subscriptions and unsolicited calls and all that crap. Actually Yeah. John Oliver just had like a very long piece on subscriptions and how stupid humanity is with subscription. We remember when we made fun of you know, getting subscriptions to Netflix and Disney and all the things that we said basically someday in the near future someone's gonna create a box that you put on top of your television where all your subscriptions can live. And we fucking made a joke about it because it was cable just like reinvented and only they're charging you more. I literally just was talking to my dad the other day and he was like, I I don't wanna subscribe to Okay. Yeah. Yeah. anything else, like there's just so many subscriptions we have and like I'm paying more for it for it than I paid for cable. And I was like, Of course we are. That's the point. We're paying more. We're getting less and paying more. Continue. here's the headline. I meant to get this guy's name. Roland Bush. The headline is I'm the CEO of Siemens. I reply to most emails with two letter responses and don't have recurring meetings. Two letter responses? That's no. That you could only write no. You can th isn't that the only thing that What yeah, what is that? Like F U? Like what No? that's what he's saying? Yeah, what other two letter other than F U and no, do you know any other two letter responses? Well what yeah, what is the other two letter response you could do? I love I just love how manly this sounds. You know, he's just like I love how he just doesn't have time f for anything. Why are we celebrating the fact that that like like you care so little? I I hate it. It's a w it's a zero. I hate that. I love it. I love it. What do you give me a score? a zero. All right. scientists, this is this headline just made me giggle. I don't know. Maybe it's important, but scientists genetically engineer high protein lettuce. Yeah. Zero. I don't just give me fucking lettuce. In fact, d like when you give me the lettuce, give it from a loc go give it from a local farm that doesn't have cyclospora. Don't give me diarrhea. Yeah. I yeah, I mean it that is just so strange. High prote I mean, there are so many sources of protein. Why do why are we I don't know, lettuce wh why are we messing with lettuce? I don't know. I just thought it was funny. That is it. That is the d that is a two-letter response for lettuce. That's what that is. Gen Z is bringing pen and paper back to the workplace. I I mean like it what did it ever leave? My cov my my my desk is covered with it's like welcome to Gen X, Gen Z. I'm glad you look glad you could join us. It's a five. Yeah. Ariana Huffington says even high flying CEOs are unhappy and feel stuck in their multimillion dollar jobs. It's a trap. Zero, you big fat baby. Shut the fuck up. And finally for our speed round for our good game, August 25th, 2026, Matt's last day of summer here. I just picked this one because the the inference what he was implying I don't even know if he was implying it. I think he was just straight out saying it. this is the headline. Bank of America is splashing out splashing out. I wonder what what the clever but but given the Splash. It's like a guy like, isn't that this? Given the headline, I wonder what the joke is here. But anyway, Bank of America is splashing out $250 million a year on weight loss drugs for its staff. And the the staff and the CEO said, This is I think this is this is Moynihan, right? Daniel Moynihan, is that the Brian? He says, We see a great impact on employees. Now, I'm sorry, but isn't that just isn't that just him looking out at his people and saying, I think. For staff? Yeah, main Brian Moahan. Their weight. And be like, they're thinner. Like they're like these people are kind of chubby. Like we better be giving them I don't know, this would just struck me as weird. Like why does he have to have a comment on this? Why does he have to s say anything? It this is weird. Yeah, just just say like we're just providing, you know, all manner of health benefits. like I like what are we doing here? I I I give this No, he saw something. Because when because when do we give when are we I don't remember the last year that a corporation has upped our health benefits. They keep getting worse. Everyone knows this. The copays go up, the the premiums for your family members go up. If you have a daughter, you can't cover her anymore. Like w so but Bank of America is splashing out weight loss drugs. How about Instead of splashing out $250 million a year on Ozempic for your fat employees, how about you give them like maternity and paternity leave? Like how about you pay for childcare? Like this is nuts. It's a zero. It's a zero. I don't care. Shut up, Brian Moynihan. That's a good game. What's what do we got? What what did I win? Yeah. There's an idea. Yeah. Maybe they're not yeah. Maybe they're not overweight. Maybe they're pregnant. I mean this is crazy. I'm sorry. Splashing out, yeah. Alright, that's the good game. Wow, it was low. Be back to your normal cynical I think it's because y y summer's over, I know. Y you average a six, you usually average a six, but it really it really sank at the end there, really You started off so high and no, you ended so badly. I think at the t at the top if you'd stopped after the first section, it would have been a like a nine. I shoved all my favorite, like, stupid things at the end and it ruined the game, but that's all right. That's that's Hazelnut Rollis. I'm your analyst, I'll Matt Miscarty. We are free float. That was the good game. Today is Tuesday. We'll be back on Friday. We'll actually start kicking off proxy countdowns when? Next week? In the near future? After Labor Day? Yeah, we got a lot of new things coming. We got some new we got a new platform. We're gonna have some new creative features and comment an analysis on the platform. That's right. Next September 1, the new platform flips on. Freeflowanalytics.com will be all new, all brand spanking new. You'll get to see everything. You can go sign up for free. And I know, because of our tens of thousands of listeners, that we should see massive spikes in traffic. So I expect to see you all there. Until then, goodbye. Massive. Huge.