Transcript
Yeah. Yeah, live from the fleece Landing of Putin's hunting jacket. It's a bombed out edition of Biz nuggets. Damien Rollins is a place. I don't want to be, I don't think no. It's, it's very cozy. He may be a crazy person, but it is very cozy. Jamie, and roll Is On Assignment right now, in Eastern Europe. So, I am joined by Emma. Don't call it an invasion, lurking. And I am an invasion. Yeah, that's about, right. That sounds good to me. Finally, we have something to distract us from the global pandemic. It's our own world war. Three canteen of Biz nuggets called, February 24th, 2022. We are going to find out on this show. Why Putin has no respect for the NASDAQ 100 at all. He does not respect it. One bit, Emma's gonna bomb a handful of quick headlines mostly about vaccines and anti-vaccine and I I'm gonna end us on our my favorite. No one else likes this, but my favorite new segment called Business Leaders. Take a dump in the toilet of leadership, featuring EasyJet, CEO Johan Lundgren. That was a masterful pronunciation. Are you ready for this? Yeah, I am. All right, first Emma. I need to say this at the top. I'm gonna start us off with my best network news, anchor voice. I'm gonna do this like like business pants is going to pretend to be a legitimate source for news right now. Are you ready? Absolutely not know. I am not ready. I I won't do like Matt Lauer but I I'm gonna try like the very like methodical pauses, and I would truly hope that you wouldn't try to emulate Matt Lauer. Let's go for let's go for like, I don't know. Who's a good one. Interesting Cooper. Can you do Anderson Cooper for me? Anderson Cooper. Meanwhile was like clearly kind of drunk at the New Year's Eve. Oh, I believe, Andy Cohen is now baumit from hosting New Year's. Now it was awesome. It was, I don't watch. Usually it was, it was awesome. All right, I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna do this. Ready? Ready? First up from the front lines of the real war for Ukraine, Aurora of semantics. Here's the headline. What counts, as an invasion or as lethal Aid, that's right. There is still an ongoing debate about whether walking into someone else's country, while shooting missiles from a tank, with the purpose of taking over that country is in fact an invasion China's foreign Ministry issued a statement. Calling the word Invasion. A quote typical Western media question method I don't know what is lethal Aid. That is what I need to understand. It's a good question. We'll come back to that investors though are ignoring the important debate about the meaning of the word Invasion. And instead are focused on the bombs falling on stuff more, specifically investors are afraid bombs are falling on stuff. They like buying like gas and metals and stuff Harvard Economist Jason Furman called Russia quote. Basically a big gas station when informed about the people also in the way of the falling bombs in Ukraine firm in the stock market exchange confused. Looks the market is concerned about Russian exports to countries a major oil, and gas Explorer. The world's largest wheat exporters in a major commodity supplier for things like Palladium, which is used in phones and dental fillings. The Traders at asphalt Capital investors have stated, they are currently in the middle of a dentist Arbitrage as a result. Do, you know, Arbitrage, dentist Arbitrage. The dentist is arbitrage. I'm invested in the dentist Arbitrage, I'm all about that. Lastly, you'll be happy to know even Russia. Even if Russia takes over Ukraine, most of the Russian soldiers won't survive long anyway as one of the first battles that is happening right now is happening in Chernobyl know where the irony of terrible ideas done in Russia was totally lost in the sounds of our artillery. Firing next up for the wars effect on business will Volvo get enough nickel and its supply chain to continue making mediocre cars that coming tomorrow on a businessman's Anderson Cooper. Moved the fuk over at mascara's here to take your goddamn. Right. I couldn't do a I can do a mean Tom broke off. I did not I didn't bother To spare listeners from having to hear that. I'm gonna move into my city. Nice move. Thank you. I'm gonna do us all a favor and give you some super Speedy headlines that are not about war with Russia. You're welcome. I cannot promise that all these are uplifting but they never promised that you want to hear Putin's name one, except for the time I said it just now. Okay, here's your first non-world War, 3 headlight. The US is in the middle of the biggest labor shortage since World War Two Goldman Sachs says, so there were lots of stats to go along with his claim, one of which was that there were 4.6 million more jobs than there were potential workers but all of those. Yeah, it's a pretty big number but a lot to do nothing to convince me that we are in a labor shortage. This is my official campaign to cancel the term labor shortage. We are not in a labor shortage. We are in a labor Awakening, it sounds a little salty, now that I say it out loud, but I'm sticking with it. Yeah, it is out. I'm making the unilateral decision to exclusively use the term labor Awakening, in order to convey who's fault this labor shortage actually is pay your workers more stop abusing them, give them proper benefits and get out of my face. No, this is just cancel culture. You even said cancel? Yeah, I said I chose that word, the terminally cancel culture next up. Amazon called the cops on a union organizer, who is bringing food to warehouse workers the NYPD arrested him and to Amazon workers, get out. What the fuck? I'm sorry. Just what's going on here. So the Amazon labor unit successfully petitioned, the National Labor Relations Board for a union election, at Amazon's JFK 8 Warehouse in Staten Island. It was at this Warehouse, that the three men were arrested arrested and among them was Chris Smalls. A former employee and president of the Amazon labor union. Yes, they arrested the formals. He's like a famous person now because they treated him so badly. I know. And he was literally delivering grilled chicken and pasta to the warehouse workers in the break room. That is what he was doing when he got arrested for. He got arrested on three counts but one of which was trespassing and everything about this obviously sucks. But the one thing that doesn't is that when Smalls was released from jail because yes, he did get released. He told Reuters that he was going back to the warehouse to deliver more food for the night. Shift workers, nice sleep, nothing like here. Well, played Chris, if you're listening and you are listening. Call us. Oh my God. We'd love to have you on the show to talk about the kind of pasta, you were delivering, was it like chicken with broccoli? Was it like pasta with, like rated cheese on it? I want all the details concrete. Join us, moving on. Google is ditching, its vaccine requirement for us office workers and Reviving old perks, like massages and fitness centers. No need to dwell on this one, but honestly, I get it. I would also need to decompress in a massage chair. I worked in a building with anti-vaxxers it makes it don't touch me with your covidde hands. Don't do it. Your next headline. The Department of Justice is reportedly exploring. If they can charge stock market short sellers, with the same log, used to take down the mafia. I was excited and then not excited and then excited again. So I will admit. This one has been very confused as might be evident to you Elon Musk is very happy about this development considering how butt hurt he was about Tesla getting shorted recently which makes me hate it. But I am a fan of like getting Wall Street, creeps to organized crime bosses. So with anyone has a take on this one, please let me know. I would love to hear it. Yes. I you hated it because musk liked it. Yep. And you like it because Wall Street. Is like a mob? Yeah. Gets a friend. Nick, you need a scorecard. Oh, I said schizophrenic. Yeah, I did you don't like it. Yeah, all right. and finally, There's after more than a thousand dead rats were found in a distribution center. I picked upbeat note based on the way they treat their workers, we are already knew that Family Dollar was full of rats and maybe now is the time to call an exterminator. Haha, dead, rodent metaphors, for the win. No, it's not a metaphor. It's a pun. It's terrible. All. So I'm gonna round this out here and what I hope will be a permanent segment called Business Leaders. Take a dump in the toilet of leadership. EasyJet CEO Johan Lundgren gave an interview to BBC called CEO secrets in which he excreted some wisdom nuggets. Here is the short of it. Lundgren says he likes to take the early part of the day, the morning in particular, to make difficult decisions. So as not to be tired or distracted wisdom alert, number one The best time to make important decisions is when you're still in your underwear unshaven and looking for Advil, after a night of drinking, in fact, you shouldn't trust. Anyone who says words after 10, a.m. they are likely lazy hobos. I'm looking at you, Emma, you lazy hobo. Oh, yes, for sure. Here's the next part. Lundgren says he takes a quote Solutions, orientated approach to decisions. Yes, he said orientated. Okay. He said that but he's he's like Swedish of What? Wisdom alert. Number two. It is important to say the word Solutions as often as you can. This differentiates your approach from say a procrastination orientated approach or a world fucking orientated approach. If you say the word solution in the morning, it also differentiates you from the lazy lying World fuckers that surround you for the rest of the day. So it's excellent advice. Sounds like the word solution is the solution if you catch my drift. Oh my God, the rat one into this one, I'm just not know, you're so not be allowed to speak anymore. Finally Lundgren suggests that you quote think, like a journalist and asked multiple sources before making hard decisions, wisdom alert number three, Don't limit your sources for information to Kenton from the finance department. You should leverage as many sources as you can before making a decision for instance. Ask Peter, Stuart Thomas or Gary? There's no need to ask Mella mikee or Sophie, they're women and they don't have real rose on your team anyway. You can even ask your friends or a janitor just make sure none of them are black because they would stand out on the all white EasyJet, executive team. Oh, his real thing and all the real names of all the real people on the EasyJet executive team, they have one black board member and no other people of color in the executive team or the board. It's a Wonderful panoply of different sources for information that those are your excreted wisdom nuggets. Anything else? Before we get the hell out of here and back to the front lines of Ukraine. Are we celebrating that's it? That's something we're celebrating. Oh, Sorry, Damien sucks. I hate him, he's not coming back. There we go, and we're back. That was Biz nuggets. It's Emma lurking. I am at Scotty. We are free float media. If you like this, we will be back tomorrow with a long form show Damien's. Going to inform us what he learned on the front lines of Eastern Europe and That is all. We'll see you then goodbye.