Transcript
Live. Are you just woke up from a company that rips off? Other companies talk shows. If we just talked about this, this is like gimlet. Basically stole the entire idea from NPR. Congratulations. It's a very special and frivolous business pants. Does war. Edition of business pants. Oh, come on. What are we ripping off with that? We're not ripping off. Oh God. Get to it during this week by an angry. Genial that's over there. We got a loud Market, loving blowhard and obsessively odorous Optimist. I'm your host Damien reali. That's a hint if you're an ESPN. Oh fanatic, like you understood that? Yeah, nobody in today's work, covered bag called March 3rd 2022. The business pants around the horn ripoff 8,000. Look, come on, let's do it here again. Today, we're playing a game love this show. Here the rules we pit three steamed ESG, business news pundit experts against one another. Okay. Maybe I should have you introduce yourself at some point, okay? And I'm going to reward points. Kind of arbitrarily for good discussion. I'm going to deduct points for bad discussion. I will play sound effects when points are awarded like this. Or even like this. And I may even play a sound effect if I deduct points like this. Oh, but I will, what I will. What I will definitely do is play this sound effect when the discussion is over. I'm gonna move on to our next category. That's when you shut up, okay? You feel good about this, ready, we're ready. A beach should have dropped right there. Let's do this. I will say they're not talking about the market. I requested just that we do a rehearsal and we didn't so let's just go it's gonna be your fault when it fails. Let's do it. All right, here we go. First category. Remember these are all war related. These are all all about the Russians invasion of the Ukraine. Oh, that one. Okay, it's not a happy subject. Not the other War. First category is cryptocurrency. We haven't really established how we're gonna go around the room on this. Should we? I guess I'll just, I'll call out, call out names, Matt. Kari and Emma perfect. There we go. Kari B, come on, Corey, I'm waiting for your car. Here we go. First, the first ever is cryptocurrency. So first we started out with this thought that cryptocurrency was good. The Ukraine receives crypto donations of more than 22 million dollars but then some Democrats in the US are raising concerns that Russians can hide their wealth with cryptocurrency. They can dodge sanctions and now crypto exchangers are pushing back saying, we're not going to ban All Russians. So what do you think? Helped us out. Let's start with though. Start with you Matt, cryptocurrency. Come on, look. It's totally unethical to have ethics in crypto. That is your takeaway the binance CEO is a total idiot. He should have said, we don't care if you're a Russian billionaire, hiding Ukrainian civilian blood, in vials in the form of an ape nft or if you're a Russian civilian in a holding cell using paper airplanes, to make your crypto wallet trades. He should have said, it's not the Market's job to have opinions. It's our job to take 5% of every transaction. You idiots make that is real. Emma our our gen Z or gen xennials, guest post, whatever you are. Come on, go Emma. As someone who's really sensitive to basically everything. I I am in general feeling like crypto is just a way for the elite to gain money and power, and all of this is just for show, it is performative. How is all this crypto actually going to be helping the Ukraine? I have no idea. No one's explained it to me. I need them to make this last jerky. I need them to make it Clearer for and more accessible to everyone Ari go carry. Sorry. What's your view on cryptocurrency? I almost sounds like Natalie from Love is Blind but I do think that this war is the best thing that could have happened to crypto. I don't since nfts went viral If? If the market is so upset that they may not get their cut and they pushed legislators to actually legislate crypto business. You know, how good that would be for crypto? It'll be really good. Then it will, it would help legitimize it. And then people who are like scared to care about it, it would make it, it would make a mainstream also crypto, like it's so far. The winner of this war with the whole headline of races more than like 40 million dollars through crypto duration. Ah, come on. This is great branding for. All right, cryptocurrency is up, is over. Moving on our next category. Oh, I'll update the scores from the first one. Just see if you have a sense of what's going on. Are you actually got three good points? But you lost a couple of points because I didn't know, I didn't get your love is blind reference and you were losing it. Yeah, Emma. Are you had two points? Matt, three some Mets in the early lead but you know, things will change quickly. Yeah, let's move on to the next category. Oddly enough. This category is soccer. Okay, so So, first FIFA will ban Russia ejecting it from World Cup qualifying, holy crap, but even bigger than that, we covered this yesterday. Start with you. Again, Matt Russian oligarch Abramovich. Out of England is confirming his decision to sell the Chelsea Football Club and he's claiming he won't even ask for a single penny back. Come on, weigh in on this. Look, the undercurrent of the whole soccer thing. The smart money is on the soccer ball short trade. This is a trading opportunity of a lifetime Pakistan, makes 70% of global soccer balls. If you ignore the child labor, which we should Pakistan during The Invasion. Closes a deal with Russia. This is real news. They close the deal with Russia to import wheat and gas. They are rushing friends. They're allies, which means you should anticipate the Pakistan sanction coming soon and short Puma Nike Adidas stock because where they going to To get their soccer balls from. I expect prices to spike but thanks to Germany and the UK having large stockpiles of emergency balls and I'll let you determine what size those balls are. There's a soccer trade to be had here. Pay attention people, pay attention, Emma. You probably have a lot of your your friends are probably very Euro trashy centered, right? So you probably all into football. You probably all watch Premier League. What's your take on this? Oh, absolutely. Not you're up. Is everything that we hate as zillennials, it is It is the center of Western colonialism in addition to the United States and we cannot possibly support anything European. They have stolen art from developing countries, but back to soccer, back to soccer. Because this is what's really important. First of all, fuck FIFA, we hate FIFA over here, because FIFA is part of the reason that female soccer players, get paid so much less fever because they are the ones that set most of the payment plans for soccer players when they enter the World Cup. So we don't care about FIFA moving on to the Abramovich. I have a little bit of Hope here because he said that all of the profits from selling Chelsea would go to support the Ukrainian people but I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, I'm with you naccari. Come on. Listen, Damien. I'm gonna give it to you straight. Russia is the ninth. Largest country by population and out of 14 games, they've played at the World Cup. They won four games. So how much do we think that Russia really cares about soccer? The answer is zero. Clearly, the thing that they do care about is hockey. Now, think about the timing of all of this winter Olympics done. Let's go into Ukraine. It works out great for them. I was sorry. All right. I already takes that round. Move on to boycotts, they're a lot of boycotts, coming out of this Invasion first. Some of the highlights H&M Adidas, Apple Speedy, Disney mobile blah, blah blah, blah, most importantly Warner Bros pulls the Batman. From Russian Cinemas drunk people, they're involved too Americans are boycotting vodka. Although I guess only 1% of vodka is actually Russian in America, but who cares? And then we have a bunch of other boy cuts like London, Stock Exchange suspending, 27 companies with Russian ties. So help us out weigh in on boycotts. Who wants to start here? Matt, you're always look excited. Come on Mac, Oh, and their money are soon parted while everyone else pulls out and loses money. Buy cheap. I have 300 cases of Stoli in my garage that haven't been made in Russia for years because idiots are dumping it at three cents on the dollar. I'm happy to sit tight for nine months until we all forget who Putin is, and I'll sell it back in the market, make a huge profit. And speaking of Putin, the irony of some of these companies pulling out has it escaped, anybody? I mean, we're talking about Boeing and Google and Facebook that basically led by corporate Putin. Why on Earth are we like a boycotting? The you know, where moral High Ground boycotts, calgun at bowling is surrounded by his friends. While he sat on the board he's basically staged a coup he made himself CEO and now CEO and his buddy Larry kellner's board chair. How different is that from surrounding yourself with six? Oligarchs you've known for 20 years forget about Facebook which is an actual dictatorship. Boycotts. Are hypocritical lies a full in his money are soon. Parted I'm sorry. I had, I had a deduct, a point that the calendar name drop. I had to sorry, I didn't deduct you for that. No one cares about Larry. Kilner Emma. Go ahead. As much as I am disgusted to agree with Matt. I do happen to agree with Matt boycotts. All of these boycotts are absolute BS. If they were actually interested in helping the Ukrainian people, we would actually see them trying to help you create and people like my favorite CEO of all time from chopani who is actually making steps. To help you. Create people, I think Refugee himself. Yes, absolutely. Love him. So honestly, Matt took most of the words from my mouth, boycotts are being no excuses. Suck the word, sorry. Take it over. Oh, I'm here from as a lot of pulling out in balls. I love a good boy caught. I got a Russia, is fantastic H&M. The fast fashion. Pioneer is one of the largest polluters in the industry. Hey, H&M. Can you pull out of the us, too? Can you boycott us? Please, there are plenty of reasons to boycott the us. Thank you. You sell their clothes to the children. They used to make them come on. Okay. Are you are you? You were killing that, right? I am taking off a point because you're you're Micah sounds a little hot to me. It's making me sad. Okay, can we seem so quiet? Moving on round four, this is going better than I would have expected even though I really have no idea what's going on. Let's talk about corporate do good as a okay, corporate do. Goodness, this is your company's offering help to ukrainians all the free PR War washing Donuts that you can eat. All right? I have a few headlines for you to consider SpaceX setting their star like terminals. So you can, I don't know. Play Candy Crush, test Tesla is offering free charging for electric vehicles. Uber offering free rides, worth up to 70 dollars, refugees fleeing and Airbnb. Ranging a combination for up to 100,000 refugees. All the reports today in the New York Times that they're already over a million have left. So Airbnb, a little bit behind their wants to go first here. Matt, you're always you're always ready to go first. Go ahead. Look the fact is morality washing. It's your fault. Forget about corporate. Goodr ISM. The only reason why this is happening is because you idiots, and that's right, I'm talking to my fellow panelists and everybody who's listening to this show? You think companies would bother giving $70 rides to the four customers. If woke, liberals weren't so busy preening, about social justice and awake conservatives were so busy crying about white Injustice. All we wanted to do here is make a buck. That's all we're looking to do. So I say you go along the Locust and you hedge against stupid customers. Just go long long for the ride, make your money because more owns will spend it on the woke companies. That's what's going to happen. I don't know what you said at the end there but I'm gonna reward your point for just repeating woke and more on some bunch of times. Yeah come on let's correct. I feel that I'm feeling a little triggered by Matt's aggression. So Matt if you could tone it down that would be great. You know what I hear. By all of this corporate do good ism. I hear tax write-off that is what I hear. Um and I hears I agree. Here's the one place. I agree. I'm appreciative of Tesla giving Ukraine the internet because that is something that is very crucial for them. Sorry don't care. I would like them to have internet so that they can deal. With all morning that they have problems with currently. But in general, I hear look at this PR campaign. Look at how supportive we are. I am buried disinterested in all of this corporate do good ISM because really what? The ukrainians need money support, they don't need your Uber rides. They do not need your airbnbs please. Okay you're you're now repeating yourself moving on carry, come on Kari porn. Wow if you want to tax write-off and you struggle with your bad PR, this is your chance. Get it together, offer your free stuff like McDonald's, where you at Uber notes? What's up except Uber was a little too specific to my liking, they're like free rides for refugees. Fling Ukraine. Only to these two cities up to 70 dollars only valid on Wednesdays. All passengers must be wearing pink and have a mustache. Oh, you got a lot of points for the whispering. There are Okay. Okay. I think are we destroyed that round? Moving on oligarchs. The oligarchs are people too. Bye. We have a bunch of stories about the oligarchs. Us will see his Yachts apartments from Russian oligarchs. Germany has already seized Mega. Yeah, so was France. They've seen all dark mega yacht. You okay, is getting in on it. We have a Russian oligarch who just stepped down as a trustee from the Guggenheim Museum. Matt, Winn and rushing oligarch. What's going on here? Leon cooperman was right. Billionaires are victims. This is ridiculous. First of all, why do they only go after yachts and apartments? Right? What is that? Why is that? But in this country, Elon Musk is a God in Russia, we get all Angry. We call them oligarchs oligarchy is, what capitalism is people? That's all it is. The whole system is oligarchy. Stop stealing from the rich and get busier building, statues of them to replace all the Confederate statues. You tore down. You now have plenty of space which reminds me go long bronze for all the statues. We need to build. Russia was the second largest exporter of copper in the world but Chile basically supplies most of it. So prices go up, we can get it from a country full of mostly brownish, people with less current Wars and we need all that copper. So we can make the billionaire statues. We should be making its a can't lose Market solution to a problem Emma. Russian oligarchs. I know you have a lot to say about I do. To repeat one of my takes from yesterday. I am more mad at the news outlets for calling every Russian Delano, billionaire and oligarch when we do not dub American billionaires, oligarchs despite that being exactly what they are. And I am perfectly happy. However, I am perfectly happy to watch their yachts in the apartments, get taken from them. That does not bother me whatsoever, especially because they're going to be auctioned off to support the Ukrainian efforts. So as the woke Gentile, none of this bothers me whatsoever. Mmm. Hikari. I think was a point of view on the Russian girl. So wonderful opportunity for the all I can't even say it all I got to come together and form a support group, maybe oligarch Anonymous a very well known people who like it and they work through their issues. Like what childhood trauma are they trying to fix with a yacht and I can picture this, like, being a very expensive retreat in a Buddhist country. I think this, they can, they can use this. Okay, thank you. One more category and then we'll we'll tell you up the scores and we'll go to a final round. Last category is Boo big data to the rescue. So lots of news about Big Data, helping out with the war efforts, Twitter to add caution labels, Google Maps, disables a lot of traffic tool meta, shutting down probe Russian TV networks, Microsoft fighting off, cyber attacks and Snapchats doing stuff too. Come on, Matt, we have to praise big data. Now, right, there's our heroes now. Write my favorite thing about these. These stories is the labeling because labeling things Works. Watch, let me demonstrate Damien Wallace is a socialist. Label. marginalize you from the fit socialism is a negative because Quote weekends, work ethic, I just made you with one label a lazy historical failure. It only took one word tech companies solutions to everything is labeled and it's genius. You don't have to do any actual work, you just put a label on it and change the game like that Emma. All I'm hearing is all of a sudden now that there's a war instead of an election they have lots of capabilities within big data to Stamp Out things that need stamping out what a shock. I'm so surprised that they have all this capability but despite that they should be doing this anyway, they don't deserve praise for it. You would have had reserved praise. There's a label right there. David thinks they deserve really delivered that in a funnier way. I feel like you're capable of the funnier line, wrapping up Ari, go take it away. What's your your optimistic point of view on Big Data? Come on, I am just so happy. We have met a Google Twitter and snap looking out for us. It really it relieves our legislators from having too much to legislate on, you know, these private companies are doing God's work and we are hashtag blessed to have them. Oh, thank you. That is the first round is over. I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you up the scores. A re coming in at 24 points, Emma. You get a lot of Point Emma but I did take a few off here and there I hate to tell you something at 12 and then Matthew McCarty, but for 17. So our two contestants moving on to the second round our Carrie. And Matt, we have a final round cat. Sorry, Emma. We have a final round category question. This is this is about dystopia. You eat will have a 30 seconds to a minute to State. Your case here, is the headline, are you ready for this? And then the winner of this round will have the floor will have their own Minute rent for my final headline, but here's the final round. Here's this is a big one. The Ukraine wants to remove Russia from the internet. You can't get much bigger than that. That is a biggie. Is headline goes one. Remove a country from the internet. Matt can see your your brow all knitted up. Why don't you lead us off here? You crane. Do you know what the internet is? Can't remove a country from the internet. Also, if you remove a country from the internet, how will we possibly advertise to them? So they can buy our crap. The number one viewed website in Russia is something called Yandex, which is basically Google ripoff just in Russian. Number two, visited website is Google, it's actual Google. How are we gonna remove a massive Market from the internet to punish who Putin? It's not like he's on Google looking stuff up. No, he's sitting in a quiet dark room. Getting information from six people. There's no way removing a country from the internet. Does anything except we lose money, put them on the Internet. Okay. Okay, you get a point for that last. Weird declarative statement. All right. This could be yours to take. You could you could win this with a with a good round here. What do you think? What's your perspective on the Ukraine? Wants to remove Russia from the internet? Well, I completely disagree with Matt, I think it is very feasible and I think, well, the part where I do agree with him is that every day people would feel the consequences of this, right? But imagine sure if they didn't actually have access to an internet, all the wonderful things that could be doing, no one's thumb would be hurting. Because of mindless scrolling libraries would be the hottest spot in town. Again, teenage girls would go back to comparing himself to the most popular girl in class and said, of filtered strangers. Have you seen that shiny Fox filter and Instagram? Check it out. It's insane and blew my mind. waiting and I would like to live in the world where, you know, highest Showing Fox thing doesn't exist. So maybe I'd move there. I like this. I'm with you Ukraine. I hope it happens. She communist. Final score Ari takes it four to four to three? Oh, I didn't know that I get to, I would get to rent. I was not prepared for such a long Ranch for the night, right? Because you don't want to, you can hand it off to Matt. You want to hand it off to Matt. I want to hand it off to Emma. Here. Okay. Actually, you know what, we could the Socialist that I am according to Matt, you could all weigh on this headline. My favorite headlines, one of my favorite headlines, so far of the year. Although first of all, I want to thank all of our participants for playing the game. That was a business pants around the horn for the historical record, Carrie is your winner, but here's the headline, Here's the final headline of the day and then we're gonna get the hell out of here. And if you've stayed with this show, congratulations, here's the headline. This is from our metaverse category. Wingstop. Yeah. That's right. I'm leaving the war. Sorry, I'm leaving the war here. Wingstop has filed a trademark to sell chicken wings in the metaverse. Can you think of anything better? If you're a chicken? This is the best news, chickens ever, got Tyson Foods, Short Tyson Foods. Finally, we've managed to figure out a solution to the site problem and that is virtual chickens. Now you go, you get a bucket of points there for just still playing the game. Anybody else want to win before? We get the hell out of here. Know, that's one question, I have. And then as one question, one fact, that was my question. Here's a fact, you as companies are filing, an average of 15 trademark applications every day for the metaverse. What? Whoa, that's the winning fact of the day are easy. Proving why you fat? Emma do you want to have one final statement about you? You tagged this story selling chicken wings in the metaverse. It's less of a statement and more of an announcement. My announcement is that I am opening the world's first metaverse only Wings Stop, but it's not going to be a Wingstop. It's gonna be an Emma stop. And I'm it's going to be completely cruelty free because there will be absolutely no real chickens slaughtered So in, when you go to get your wings in the metaverse, please come to Emma stop instead because Emma is the only non chicken slaughtering wing place in the metaverse. I want to cleaning on opening the old rule to the only metaverse Wingstop. All I do is torture the fake chickens before I started Sad. It was as a sad statement. It's like being mean to your Alexa or your Google home. That get us out of here man, that was Please wrap this round, the ESG horn, 2000 8,000, rip-off show gonna do it. Come on. I am at mascardi. Our contestants were Rhema and Damien was our host. If you like this you didn't but show up tomorrow because we have a fancy expert in David Frazier from Mackenzie Investments who's gonna join us through. He's gonna walk through some ESG grievances, he's gonna play the good game with us and we'll see you. Then goodbye.