Transcript
Yeah, yes. Live. From The Ides of March. No one talks about the odds of March anymore. I guarantee it. It's a tubular Tuesday here at business pantage Q. Join us. Always by Emma, endemic, lurking. And Matt multiparous mascardi. I'm a blank slate. What does that mean? It means having having given birth more than twice. Yeah, do you feel like you feel that that moniker? And today is malarkey stained back called March 15th. 2022, Damion discovers Duos. Which makes the show really long Matt talks about sex and goats, I don't think that's the right preposition, right? And I will do other other order, though, and alerts. Yeah. All right. Let's do it. That's all I got today. Just looking all right. Yeah, I overdid it. So let's get to it. I just discovered headline Duos. I put two headlines together and Magic happens. Here we go. Goldman Sachs CEO said people want to work for leaders who are relatable in a response to a question over, whether he felt pressured to change the way he leads in order, attract more gen Z and Millennial workers. Here are some relatable facts, David Solomon, produces music under the name. DJ diesel He sold his. He's so Central Park Co-op a few years ago for over 20 million dollars, the apartment featured nine foot mahogany doors herringbone floors, A Chef's Kitchen. That's like my truck, 1000 bottle, wine storage area. It's the same building that included people like that. Dustin Hoffman, Demi Moore and where retired hedge fund, founder. Robert Wilson jump to his death from a 16th floor. Well, this tree. You feel like relatable to this so far. Yeah, it's all true. Yeah, I have to remind people. This show is true. It's true. This show. Unfortunately, speaking of wine and suicide I'll never get to earnestly. Say that phrase again, DJ Diesel's personal assistant stole 500 bottles from Solomon's rare yet, relatable wine collection. The personal assistant was arrested in a few months later minutes before his court case jumped out of the 33rd floor window of the Carlyle Hotel. That's both sad and ultra um relatable recently Solomon, doubled down on his calls for Goldman workers to return to the office full-time. Having previously referred to remote work as an aberration. And finally, the most relatable data point, DJ diesel received 35 million dollars last year, mostly from performance-based stocks. So is this dude relatable. Let's get to the second part of our headline Duo. Goldman Sachs CEO, demanded all employees return full-time, to the office. Only half showed up Yeah, I could relate to a lot of hot air for one headline Duo. There you go, wanting to go to the office is available, just in and of itself. Okay, so he's family failing to relate. Well, speaking of failing to relate, you always do that in our anxiety. That was not my best Segway. NR anxiety report. The threat of nuclear war. Persists, there's a global pandemic. Still raging the climate crisis is draining, freshwater resources, and destroying biodiversity as we speak. And now this in business inside her today, Quote, motorcycle maker Kawasaki, created a rideable electric goat. Yeah, isn't just a motorcycle. Okay, I want to hear that sink in just let it sink in just sit with that one second, one second, because Business Insider reports that robot use has become more popular in recent months as companies combat the labor shortages. That's right. They linked a rideable robot goat, To labor, shortages American companies. Apparently have ordered more than 29,000 robots in the last year. And here is a list of human tasks that robots are increasingly doing. This is a realistic, I didn't not make this list up. This is a really research list. Here's how it goes. Writing, thank you letters to colleague is there? Carrying know. There's that one. Yeah. Doing that identifying spills on the floor. Cleaning them just saying look Mars do that. Not cleaning them. They actually just stand over it and beat they just spill. That's what they're doing. Shaking french fries. That's right. Okay. When they're in the hot oil they're shaking the freedom guys stuck. And putting things in boxes, sure. So that maybe oil doesn't splatter on real humans. These are all things that I imagined DJ D. Sol is doing somewhere. Free flow is actually developing its own robot Condor which is specifically designed to write. Corporate pledges to eat, apologies for CEOs, and negotiate with hostile employees who want to live in wage. This has been the anxiety report. Matt. I don't know about you but I feel angry. I feel like you're swallowing the lead. I was kind of hoping more here, more about this goat but okay. Look the goat moves at six inches is like like a ghost? Yeah, looks like a goat, it's convertible. So you can take off a quote unquote Parts. You can actually tear them off. No, no. It is a robot. So, there is a video. If you're interested in this, there is a video of a woman on top of the goat bouncing ever. So, gently at six inches per minute, I'm sorry. I'm just saying, that's what the video says. Let's get to the headline. Duo is part two. Here we go. Let's call this, the headline Duo of misguided. S and f'd up protests c. I for the radio show. I'm trying to be Clean. Misguided, crap, and screwed up. Protests, here we go. First and McDonald's. Super Fan. Chained himself to one of its restaurants in Moscow because he didn't want it to close. Yeah, he said they don't have the right to close down. This is Luca saffron of Zach. Zach Roof. Inn, a Russian pianist and Son of an artist who he said this while chained to the restaurant and Pushkin Square Moscow. He said, closing down is an act of hostility against me in my fellow citizens. But, wait, I believe that to a targeted, but wait, maybe his protest worked or maybe McDonalds was just big cheeseburger relyeas. Because here's the second part of our headline Duo McDonald's said, it would close all its Restaurante and Russia but some appears still open a week later. The Daily Mail reported that McDonald's restaurant in Moscow. Saint Petersburg bowling ride in Nova Spruce were still open on Monday. Wait, did he didn't even get closing? Right? Did Luka just have to go down the street to the other here? I don't think he read that. He probably does not read The Daily Mail. I'm guessing he just chained himself to the wrong McDonald's in our sex report today. Oh boy, Pleasant. Okay. Cupid reported today that Millennials using their app on imported iPhone's built by slave labor, while flying to Instagram, worthy vacation spots, and gas burning airplanes. So they can take Ubers and public transportation to the beach in hotels. Think the number one dating deal breaker issue is climate change, that is correct. Here are the stats 81% 81 percent. Eight out of 10 humans on OkCupid of 6 million. Surveyed users listed climate change as their top concern. More than 76% of users thought, gender. Equality was the top concerned last year and 66 thought it was gun control, two years ago. Okay, women are 7% more likely to care about climate than men. And since April 2021 the report is 450% increase in dating profiles, mentioning climate change. Wow, environment in the dating. The profiles, the dating app woke Wars are in full of the climate change into your dating profile. I mean, I'm trying to imagine that Let me tell you how last year reports emerged that users on Tinder were saying things like swipe, right? Only, if left as in, if you're a leftist, if you're super Progressive and the perfect date was quote, overthrowing the government, the obnoxious thing, this is just for you. Damien, the obnoxious things that are hippie Jenna ex or friends you used to say at parties that everyone would ignore because that dude was like super Stone and always annoying and in your face about everything it now is reportedly. The number one thing that gets you laid in 2020 because the guys not saying it it's just on your phone, that's why. It's unbelievable. Unless of course your conservative. What about them? Because just just, like in social media, where everybody's against the snowflake conservatives and feel so left out of everything. They now need their own safe space for dating and the app writer. Wait, what is where it lives? What's the call? Yeah, I'm serious. What's it called its called righter as in like right here then left? Yeah, yeah. The right. Wow, it's for conservative who are dating. And the founder claimed that conservatives have better sex than liberals. And that women should quote close their legs and be feminine. Not feminist. What? That was a, that is the dating app for conservatives, Damien, can we officially add this to our Wars category? Yes, it's dating apps. Yes. Confusing so many ways. Yeah. Okay, let's move on. This this is the greatest pool I've ever. Had the greatest news poll ever. Speaking of Emma's ridiculous. News polls. Let's go. Let's move on Headline. Do is number three? I call this the Bob Iger unretiring tribute story. First it was reported that goat QB. Tom Grady is not retiring after all He announces his return to the Buccaneers a move, a move. We called extremely Bob. Ivory after all, Tom Brady is Bob, Iger, Kendall of the NFL and Bob Boger, is the unretiring. Tom. Brady of the entertainment world, just one day later, as if they conspired to make this headline Duo come true. Hey, it's only a 68.8 mile drive from Raymond, James Stadium, in Tampa, to Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando. I'm just saying former Disney Chief. Bob Iger is jumping into the metaverse as an investor and director at startup genies. A metaverse company that allows users to customize avatars and his popular among celebrities like Rihanna and JLo. I love the idea of beautiful Bob jumping into the metaverse, but she shouldn't be sliding or uploading or something. Matt, what's the proper verb for that? It's not jumping. Is it? How do you get? I thank you. You pour portal, worm hole in Portal metaverse, as long as a hole was involved. I'm happy also, yeah, you asshole into the man. Is this, an anti-aging fear of death? Play for Bob's, Bob feeling his wrinkles and needs to customize, that tanned Avatar of his, the company's career page says, it is building the next generation of humans. That sounds pretty comfortable. That makes me feel good. Who are these people kind of Beats the hell out of me. I click the humans link which took me to human ventures.com and that said that were the humans from Genies. But then I clicked on the humans link and that took me back to the same page. I don't know what's going on. All right. Forbes, did bail me out of a little bit, said, the co-founders are Tech Bros, a cost Nigam and Evan Rosenbaum last year, Forbes published, an article called Genies CEO Reveals His mental health struggles with depression and how digital avatars are helping him. So, this is you a little bit, the world you're living here. Your little bit buried, the lead? Yeah. Because The headline of the Genies website is Genies the fantasy version of you. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what that means. I thought I was the fantasy, this is a full dystopic for ya business. Before we get out of here, I want to do a final shot out to all the Duos that I had to leave on The Cutting Room floor. We'll get to these eventually. I got some, I got Space Race Duos, Elon Musk challenge, Putin to a fist, fight for the fate of Ukraine. Oh, I love the head of Russian the Russian space agency responded. You little devil are still young compete with me weakling. It would only be a waste of time, and then the duo headline there, Saturday Night Live star, Pete Davidson is going to space on Jeff bezos's. Next Blue, origin launch. I don't know what the hell is going on. It's a wasted Humanity. The next duo we left on the floor America's Drug Company Duo's, this is a double espresso pledge. Starbucks pledges to make it stores, more inclusive by 2030. Now how is that for a pledge? Matt? By what eight years to make your stores? More inclusive. I don't know. Where they were, they asking people who are a little bit Brown to wait outside, I mean, is or is it the store itself? Is it like we use only Cedar but we're gonna use more Pine, right? Like of course, what does it take eight years to buy every color of the rainbow flag from Sherman Williams? Like why can't you get this going? I don't I don't understand anything. The second part of that duo was Starbucks wants to become the gas station of the future for electric vehicles. I actually I think that's a good idea. The Starbucks in my neighborhood. The the drive-thru is always backed out into the road. So why not? Why not charge up while you're waiting? I don't know. It feels a little discriminating against Darren Woods is shuttering and finally The Meta Meta Duos that we left on the floor. Facebook employees, criticizing the rollback of perks or blasted as freeloaders, who don't care about company culture, and then meta clarifies stance. Says users. Cannot call for death of Putin. And there goes my post. Push Putin out of the 15th floor window and an expensive. DJ diesel property. I can't post that anymore. But oh well. There you go, that's it. yeah, more worried about you making suicide, I'm not yeah sure what happened but Know that was murder. I said, push push Putin. You have a two days of like death. Yeah, that's just, yeah, let me ask can I can I ask you? Um, How long is it before we hear the case at the Supreme Court of zaqistan about calling for the death of Putin, right? Like does isn't the there the watch that that's bored. Yeah the oversight board and they going to eventually have to rule on 11 months later. Like yes. Like well years after the wars over and Putin's been assassinated her or question runs you cry one of the other one thing I've noticed is that after the first batch of press releases from that fake Supreme Court, we don't hear about them anymore. So, well, I've read a lot. I actually keep up, okay? And the reason why we don't hear about it is because the things they're ruling on are the like their absurd in their reach. So they're perfect for the show so we met, we might need an update on some of those recent rules. we go to whoa Wednesday coming up tomorrow so maybe we can hear about some of those Yeah. Just in case you're curious. The last case that they did, I think it had something to do with like Sweden and nudity and children and Legos Maybe. No one cares about that. It's a, probably a naked and an Ikea. It's probably what it was. Can we get out of here? I guess that's all we have. Let's get out of here. That was Damian Raul's, Emma, lurked. Yeah, actually really effectively lurk today. That's old school, Emma. I was Matt mascardi. This is Bizness pants. We are free float media. Come back tomorrow for woke Wednesday. Do we have a fancy expert for Friday coming in? I don't think we do this. None of this moment in time. We have fancy experts. We have them coming up, though. I got we got one, we got big ones coming. Yeah, we have. Yeah, we have a bunch and they're big and they're on their way. So don't be afraid, there's more coming, we'll be back as you tomorrow with woke Wednesday. Good. Bye.