Transcript
Live. Oh, Matt's already asleep from the bottom of Saint, Patrick's support hose. It's a, it's a. Does anybody still care about the Irish anymore edition of business pants? Oh my God, I forgot that it was Saint Patrick's Day. See, see, Matt see. And she's in New York City. That's like an Irish world. No, no, no, no, Boston Southie, Emma Emma's talking from the future of the past, I can't like confuses me the past, okay? Joined us always by Emma, adjective lurking. And adverb, Matt mascardi. I'm the boring part of a conjunction in the least, exciting part of a preposition. In today's green wash bag. I can say that today because the Saint Patrick's Day, cold March 17th 2022, Damion drinks, drugs and obeys CNN, Matt subtitles. The headlines and Emma dust off one of her favorite board games. Wow, I'm excited for the boring part. Let's do that first. Let's do this. This is like as stories go in our business pants world. This is as exciting as it gets. This is a Starbucks CEO 7 Johnson retires, okay? And and who's coming in to replace him. Howard Holocaust, blanket Schultz. Yeah, in terms CEO. Okay. Kevin Johnson's been CEO for about five years. He stepping down in April, Even as the pandemic, shut down key markets and created supply store, just Kevin was killing it at Starbucks. okay, killing it was He managed to lead the company to robust revenue and profit growth, but now he intends to retire. But come on, he's not, no, he's not. And that's what the press release says he's not retiring. He was fired. Come on. Oh, And how do I know this? Because the partners who are see? This Starbucks employees, they have blood on their hands. Make no mistake about it. Johnson's operational and financial successes have been overshadowed by an exciting and budding labor movement at Starbucks. More than 100 Starbucks stores and more than 25 states have filed for Union elections, many either have begun to vote or likely to vote at least six have voted to unionize. Okay, that's what's going on here. That's why Mr. Blanket Schultz is back. Wow, yeah, you want to say something, man, before I go, I'm impressed that you heard it here first that that Kevin Johnson. Effectively is spending more time with his family because he sucks at Union unionization. I did not busted union busting literally, it's a union busting fire and union busting fire. Do we call Howard Schultz interim, CEO or extra room, CEO because he's really like extra CEO. He's already done it cozy fleece blanket. Oh, my God, yo, all right, yeah, he's like the blanket of CEOs. I read a bunch of new stories who were the possible successors, maybe a random CEO there saying maybe current CEO John Culver, maybe a former CEO Ross Brewer. She's at a Walgreens now, but that would mean black women as CEO and chair. Come on that. Is also former CEO, Troy Alstead sounds like a football player, but I'm gonna tell you this when he retired the first time, he told the Puget Sound Business Journal that he was not going back to the corporate world. So he can't, he can't come that he can't go back on that state that. Yeah, right. So it's not gonna be him. What about Howard Schultz again, right? Isn't, he does seem perfect. He already hates Union, so let's not forget. He said his Memoir. I was convinced that under my leadership, employees would come to realize that I would listen to their concerns. If they had Faith Like Jesus and my motives, they wouldn't need a, he's the best at union busting. He's like, he's like coffee, Jesus, Yes, the union busting and look I just I do want to I started off the show by calling them a Howard, Holocaust blanket Schultz. I do want to back that up because you know, I really am. I should buzz me for that but she's not going. Yeah, because it's well, I don't know why. Here's a story, here's the actual call. I'm gonna read it again. It's a bit long, but I got to read this again. When they call when Howard Schultz came in the first time to to bust unions in Buffalo, this is part of the story that he gave. This is from a New York Times Reporter. Howard said he's recounting a story about the Holocaust to try to convince the partners. Not to, you know, here's this, here's part of the story. I'm not making any of this up. And one person for every six was giving a blanket. One blanket for every six people and the person who got the blanket had to decide what to do with this blanket that I had for myself and not everyone. But most people, most people share their blanket with five other people. And the Rabbi says to me take a blanket and go share it with five other people. And so much of that story is threaded into what we have tried to do at Starbucks is share our blanket. By blanket, he he did mean Healthcare right like he they give one I don't set a benefit for every six workers and they have to share. I don't honestly Matt what? What did he mean? Why did he share that? What like what is that? Like we don't need The union, the Union's, a blanket. I don't even know what the blank does. No no no, no Starbucks Starbucks treats every six employees like one in employee. And they have to share the salary of a single employee. So why do you need a union? Because you're already sharing and unions are yeah, something like that? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's move on other possible successors and you heard her here first. This is real analysis here. This is business. Pants analysis. You're not going to hear this anywhere else. What about a board member? Okay, I like that, and they're a lot of good contenders, but this is where the real story is right there are 11 possible contenders from the board in 2021. We covered the favorite coffee drinks for the Starbucks board, okay. Well, those favorite drinks have been updated in 2022. And let me just say this, these directors ain't no English Majors because they can't quite grasp the definition of favorite, okay? These directors are goddamn flip-floppers and maybe that's the problem indecisive leadership, okay? Okay. I'm serious. And who exactly is in charge of CEO succession planning. At Starbucks. It's the chairs of the nominating and compensation committees along with the board chair and the CEO. No wonder they couldn't decide and brought back the old CEO, this group is Ebony 5% flip-floppers. Okay, so I'm just gonna tell you from 2021 only 36% of the board. Maintained, their favorite coffee drinking. These are the true leaders at Starbucks. I'm not. Hey, don't laugh. No. Look. These are the truly leaders. I think we need to emphasize something here. This stats, you think of, when you think of like Starbucks, you think of Revenue, you think of stuff like that? No one anywhere is covering the flip-flopping. Favorite coffee, drinks of the board members as insight into how these board members think, I think it's genius. I think it's an example. If you think I'm if you don't, if you think I'm okay, let me give him Clara she She changed her drink from up pistachio. Coconut milk latte to an iced sugar cookie. Almond milk, latte, oh, terrible. What is that believe? That's literally just make believe. Okay, so these are the. So let me talk about Starbucks has new products every year. So what if they have a new product that ends up being her new favorite? What if it's not just like a flip-flop, it's just an upgrade and update know, okay, is it? No Isabelle gamma change her drink from a cappuccino to Espresso. Oh, that's the story. Yeah, let me know the story for I contend right here, that from those, those four, non flip flopper directors. These are the true decisive leaders. This is where the next CEO will come from. Who are these four? These four director tell you first. Among that group, is one of my favorite Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella. He's with his double espresso shot but look, it's not going anywhere. He's not gonna happen. Oh Sacha off the table. Get out his king of the world right now. Yeah. Off the table. Second. Sticking with a flat white is a director, Richard Allison, who's the current CEO at Domino's but that's possible. What? Wait, this kind of feels like a lateral move. And why would he want to deal with angry Partners know? Let me let know. There's, you're wrong about that. There is nothing lateral about going from Dominos to Starbucks dominoes. I'll try dominoes I have I just, why would you want to deal with a with a rising union movement? Why? You have Dopey ziddy, Pizza makers. That's that's fine. It's easy. Okay, this is just my this is my House's third. We've got Joshua Cooper Ramo who's sticking with his Double Espresso macchiato. I mean, maybe he's fluent in Mandarin. And he writes a motorcycle so that that could be enough this, right? Yeah. But then again, he used to be a TV analyst for the Olympics. And it's all day a privately held advisory in principal investment firm. Which sounds pretty made up to me, then, you know, you're on wrong. No, sorry, not a white male. Who was left? Who was the only other decisive leader? At Starbucks, who enjoys a very blue collar. Drink a pike. Your favorite post bless your favorite. It's the favorite part. That's why I drink. That's my drink. Yeah, it's a it's a it's a plebeian. Drink of the partners. And that would be current board chair mellody Hobson. Yeah lfg come on. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. This is it, are you gonna be mellody Hobson? I know that they're, you know, they're they're I don't, they're bringing in Howard as an intern. They're trying to play The Press game but I can see through. I know it's gonna happen. I know, it's happening. Here's what I like about what we're doing here. We are setting the betting market for CEOs. Greg, Goff at Exxon, mellody Hobson Starbucks. You heard it here first. That is the prediction market for CEOs. But do you have more to say because there's like 9,000 more words. You wrote know I'm done get over. Thank God. All right. I'm gonna go quickly here. I want a debut a segment. I'm calling subtitle the headlines. These are five headlines with simple intuitive sub. Headers that should have been added headline writers. I'm looking at you Bloomberg because you got graded, alliteration and terrible at what right? In headlines somehow, okay, take some notice. This this is a master class and how to solve your own headline. Are you ready? Yeah. Here's the headline, met us, Ukraine Point man isn't Mark Zuckerberg. Sub headers should be. Yes, it is. Zuckerberg is a more famous autocrat than Putin start treating him. Like one stop pretending like he doesn't make every decision. So don't tell me meta. As you Crane Point, man, is someone other than Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, he is the only Point, man. Okay, nice try well done. Headline. Number two. Billionaire. Russian oligarch says, he doesn't know how to live three weeks after being hit with sanctions. Wait, what? That's, the headline does not have life. Yep. Yep. Doesn't know how to live three weeks. It took three weeks. Even for my children. That's extreme hyperbole. Here's your sub header. Yeah. Get a real job. Oh, that's it. There are nearly 3,000 open jobs in Amazon warehouses right now. They come with free pea bottles. It's not that hard to find a job. Who is this more? I mean, most of living is involuntary the breathing. It's like, how hard is it to lead? You don't have to live. Well, he doesn't have his super yacht anymore, he doesn't have his seven apartments in London, Paris in New York City. It's hard to live now. You know what the problem was? He had to go back to Russia. So no one wants to live there. It's terrible, here's headline. Number three. Wells, Fargo rejected, half, its black applicants in mortgage refinancing boom. I'm not. Why am I not surprised by this? That is the sub headline. All right, look, there's this new thing, it's called discrimination. The CEO of Wells Fargo is actually pretty good at this Charles Sharp. He famously said there weren't enough qualified black people to hire apparently sounds. So not enough black people to give mortgage refinancing to either, you know, and I, I looked into this that they're quite a bit lower than their peers. This isn't like, yeah, like standard for the even for an already discriminatory industry. They're quite a bit lower. Yeah, it's real bad, there's bad. It's really forget it not being a good look, it's just real bad headline. Number four, Texas, abortion law match City Bumble pay for employees to travel for abortion. Ooh, I know what those have in common. Those companies. Stop header. Female CEOs. Yes. There you go, turns out. Maybe being a woman who leads a company, might not only mean your shrill and a bit emotional. You might actually be better at your job. Yeah, another reason. Possibly possibly. headline number five, my final headline of the day, Warner Discovery board, draws criticism for lack of Latinos. Oh good. Did we do that? Did we criticize them for that? Who did that? I'm sure we have. But here's the sub header. Yeah. Get more Latinos. Okay, there are 274 dudes named Carlos sitting on boards globally right now, the education trust found that 22% of Latino adults in. The US, had a college equivalent degree. The top 10 movies in Mexico, in 2021. Three of them were at a Warner. Brother's you cannot find one Latino human 4 for your board. I mean, if you thought about it, you could actually go for the token. Trifecta. Find a Latino lesbian female, that would be amazing. You just nailed every demographic that you mostly have to nail. You can't find one. I gotta say grammatically you completely butchered that. First of all, it wouldn't be looking Second of all yes lesbian female. What are we doing? What you are? You want them to identify as female not nine non-binary or okay. I'm just saying but I'm just, I'm just hammering a point. It's called hammering. The point sort of like it. I want that segment every week. I actually enjoyed that. I literally enjoyed that But I've also liked that a lot, of course about all my other segments is really what that did. All right, moving on. My second piece today. I was I again, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use the word literally. I was literally inspired by CNN this morning. Because I I bring up CNN on my phone here, there's a horrible headline, you know about the war in Ukraine but above it you know, like a breaking news. A little box. Where the really where the actual important things in America's really care about here. Those are the three headlines above the war that were telling the care about the actual things. We really care about. So CNN. I'm going to cover those stories first. Omicron variant raises concerns in US. Yeah it's not over people. Europe's Rising caseloads. Could foreshadow a second Homer Crone surge in the US. Biden has canceling meetings with the Irish Prime Minister who just tested positive for the coronavirus and South Korea facing its worst virus surge as, you know, doing some stuff. So anyway, it's still bubbling. Yeah I'm dead. My wife said, the that they're expecting another search. Yeah, number two of the things. Americans actually care about Disney. Yeah. Here's the headline, Disney employees or staging walkouts a group of lgbtq, plus Disney employees, and allies organized a series of walkouts to protest CEO Bob chapek, and the company's responses to Florida's, don't say gay bill, on the website. Where is Chase bank.com? That's why the Disney do better group, how long was that meeting to name? The group was only five minutes should have been released an hour, it needed to be longer, the Disney do better group listed. Six demands, the Walt Disney Company including indefinitely stopping all political donations to leaders who supported don't say gay Bill. Allocating content spending to expand lgbtq plus representation and starting in lgbtq plus brand. Yeah, let's solve this with some materialism. Yeah. All right. Just now. Yeah, the third thing, America actually cares about Netflix Netflix. Okay, again this is all the stories above the horrible war in Ukraine. Netflix, Netflix cracking down on password, sharing Netflix will soon test charging users in three countries. Chili Costa, Rica and Peru. Hi. Why are those three countries for password sharing? Why they testing those poor people? I don't know. I don't get that. And finally get no one cares. To tie it all together. Netflix is shamelessly capitalizing on a moment, a warm moment. This is from Netflix's Twitter account, just yesterday, you asked and its back. Servant of the people is once again available on Netflix in the United States, what servant of the people you ask? That's the satirical political comedy series, featuring the president of Ukraine's, Alinsky as a teacher, who unexpectedly becomes president after a video of him complaining about corruption goes Barrel. Congratulations Netflix. You did it. Did it? You did it. According to reports. Netflix is busy. Trying to CGI covid-19 all over zilinskis character to make his character truly relatable for 2022. Good luck with that. Can do. What do they just CGI like viral articles on his face? I think she's clouds. Like it's like a yeah. It's like a cloudy wet Sheen. Oh That sounds moist. That's all I have. I'm gonna go calm down. Does sound moist? My bill is out. I'd like to stop talking make our show more relatable now. All right, here's the relatable portion of this show. Welcome to a classic round of what do you rather? I am alerting. I'm going to give you some would you rather prompts based on today's headlines and Matt and Damien will make their choice about which one they prefer as is. How would you rather typically works? And there's obviously a correct answer that I will dictate and reveal once they have made their choices. If the constants have any contestant, contextual questions, they are allowed to ask them, but I retained the right to refuse to answer per usual. So she always says, the like that. Yeah, I like to. I'm very litigious that way. I don't want to get caught. All right, here is number one. Would you rather? Be the next CEO of Starbucks or be the next CEO of lvmh the headlines that those here. Yeah, I'm so sorry. The headlines that those correlate to are one real-life succession lvmh's. Billionaire, owner, Bernardino to extend his tenure, as CEO, with his five kids in the running to take over and headline. Number two, Starbucks, CEO retires and Howard Schultz steps in as interim. What do you think? This one's easy for me, I can go first. Yeah, this is a no-brainer, everyone knows I'm a Franco File. First of all, and second of all, I don't want to be no, like, kingpin drug dealer. I don't want to be the head of a drugs Mafia group. So I wait a minute, I want to be in some like palate, Shield Parisian apartment overlooking the scene. I mean. Yeah. Of course, I want. That's what I want to be doing. And I mean, Who doesn't love selling tacky handbags? That's perfect for me. I am attacking kind of guy. That's me, I'm there. I'm in Paris. Come on. You wait a minute, you know that they own Hennessy right? The what does that make? Who's calling? Yeah, that's a shoe will drugs? Yeah you just said you don't want to be a drug kingpin. Maybe I can get rid of that and don't really think to a Russian oligarch. Do we really think handbags aren't just a form of drugs? Like we need hair bags, for anything. The subtext is, I want to be in a place. You'll stay in Paris. Well, you made the wrong choice because you can buy your pollution estate in Paris from all of the coffee that you sold as the CEO of Starbucks and look. It's really a choice. The choice you're really making is, who do I want to exploit? Do I want to exploit brown people who are picking, you know, coffee beans or do I want to exploit brown? People who are making really expensive handbags that are gonna get thrown out of here from now. Like and for me, I prefer to explain Farmers from places that can't find me. With les brand risk, I'm all about, exploit that branding, like Pokey needly fingertip, e, bloody. Oh, yeah. No, for me, the enough anonymity of brown people in a rainforest is way easier to avoid. Discussing you go to Starbucks. Well, this got darker than I intended it to get, but that feels like not my fault. That's your fault. You pick. You picked like two. You you pick two creepy Empires? Yeah, go ahead. So the correct answer is Starbucks for one reason. And one reason only, I don't want the nepotism Squad breathing down my neck if I become the lvmh CEO. Oh, I have five backups behind me. So if I screw up, one time I'm out and in our know is in. So, that is why it is Starbucks. Moving on, would you rather number two? That's what I'm banking on. I, I get the golden parachute and I'm good. Thank you. Be quiet. Let her do number two. Would you rather be a juror On the Sunny balwani trial for the theranos charges or be the stenographer for the Purdue Pharma Sackler family? Hearing the headlines are as such no one. A judge excused two jurors from The Trial of Elizabeth Holmes's ex-boyfriend. Sunny balwani because they had watched the Dropout, the new series on Hulu. And number two, oh, it felt like we were talking to statues in quotes and oxycontin addict, who confronted, the Sackler family about opioids reveals their stoicism. Those are your choices. Wow. Okay. can I just say, Props, a Hulu, Hulu, Hulu was doing is doing a series on both of these one is called Dope Sick. Starring a wonderful, Michael Keaton. That's about the oxy, the Sackler family story at Purdue farmer, and there are so doing the one on theranos called the Dropout, they're both riveting shows. I'm not just saying that because I work in this boring industry, very well done and quite wonderful but this one's easy for me. I want to be So maybe it's not that easy. It's this one is easy for me. I definitely do not want to sit in a the stale air room of a courthouse. Listening to something that I've already read listen to a podcast about and watch the show on which one I would, which is the theranos trial of any kind. I'm bored of it. It's I'm tired of it. It's dumb. I want to write down the facial expressions of the Sackler while they. Well, they literally like, can you imagine being like, Oxycontin addict it? My life was terrible. Thanks to you. What are you doing about it Sackler faced eyebrow raises, right? Like, that seems to be significantly more interesting. As you know what? It's also historically, more important. Like I'm kind of, yeah. I'm almost kind of tired of the. I don't really care about the theranos investors. Yes, it's a compelling. Drama in and of itself. But the secular family take down, which I hope is what it is, is historically important. And if I'm a stenographer means, I'm getting paid, which I like so. Okay, I'm gonna I agree. It is a jerk. Now, I just, I, I want the ability to write things, like, Sackler family member scratches inner thigh like while they sit there like stoically. Like I, that's what I want to do. That's right. You were both right one so incorrect, you're so wrong. It is the correct answer is 100% being a juror On the Sunny Bell when he trial for one reason. Only, I want to see someone go to jail. And preferably, I would like to have a hand in putting them there. So I know that the sacklers to jail. No, not an option but as a juror first anybody I'll be the foreman. I will, I will run that shitt. I don't care. I want to send him to jail. For person. Come on, get over. Get over your old antique. Yeah, but this You let me just say this Emma, you were totally completely compromised. You went to Tufts University, which is basically bought by the sacrifice. It's like every building there is a Sackler building. You are clearly Pro Sackler, I know what's going on with you. It's ridiculously right, bro. Exactly, I had no idea that I was proactive. I'm gonna have to Grapple with that. Sorry Somerville. And I like this game. Let's do the third one. Would you rather number three? Would you rather be a shell board member or an AMC board? Member? Here are the headlines. Oh yeah, so easy shell, headline, unusual law unusual lawsuit. Aims to hold shell, directors personally, responsible for climate failures headline. Number two, AMC, AMC Diversified from movie theaters into gold and silver mining, AMC, Apes on social media. Those are your choices. That sounds like fun to me, that sounds like legitimate, fun to me sitting on. That is like, right, that is like nasal gazing like twiddling your thumbs, like there's just nothing going on that company. I want to I want a part of that every day. First of all, you get free movie tickets for life, right? Like that is, that's got to be, you're showing, but you're staying sweatpants, right? I mean, because who's gonna care versus what I get free gasoline for life. Like is that I have no interest in that. Don't like there's nothing. I'm gonna do what they got gasoline. I'm moving to electric cars like forget second of all. AMC. I mean like there there are no responsibilities. There's no accountability. You like no one has any expectations that you do a job. That's great job ever. You just like, why don't we get a Steven Spielberg movie, or something? Or I mean like why stop at a gold mine? Why not buy, you know, a shopping mall in Long Island just for the fun of it. Why nobody anything. What? I really like about these AMC chuckleheads too, which I'm happy, I can't wait to call my new friends. Is that the new gold and silver mine that they bought is actually not even operational. So they're really currently operational. That is correct. It doesn't actually make the gold. Sounds like AMC itself. It's the greatest. So AMC is the correct answer. And once again, you guys have a really Bungled it. It is not AMC. It is 100% shell because Being a board member at Shell automatically would give me a gold star. I would be the star of the shell board. It would be so easy to. I, I'm just saying for all these people that are trying to hold all the directors personally responsible for climate failures. Not me. I'll vote for every climate initiative. I will be the perfect Pro sustainability board member and I'll look amazing. Whereas on am on the AMC board, I don't know anything about your older silver mining. It could. Screw me over in a million ways. Absolutely not. It is. 100% shell. I'm excited for the investor Revolt when they vote Emma out after 30 minutes of being on that board for that too. Most that's a drama. I'm also what the drama by the subject. I'm still excited about the idea that people at AMC are investing in a gold mine. I got that's gonna take me for a while. This that was a great segment from Emma lurking and a good segment from me. Damien. I was not interested in yours so that was Damon Wallace. Emily King. I'm at Scotty, we are free float. Media that was business pants. We'll be back tomorrow. I think there's no fancy expert tomorrow, but we actually have a number like I said, yesterday of fancy experts coming, come back tomorrow for a longer show. Where we tell you what, the wrap on the week was and we update you on our March sadness. Brackets, if you haven't gotten them in, there is something to win. Here, we have already heard from one of our fans that what they want. If they win, is a pair of sweatpants with the word business pants down the side, we will make swag specifically for you about for free float media. Business pants. If you win, if you pick the winner, so, fill out your bracket. It's on social media. It's in places. I think it's on our website. I don't know. It's in punch places. Go do that, and we'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye.