Transcript
Live. From the freshly painted white gazebo and Hester Pierce's, white backyard. So white. Yeah, it's a fiddly Thursday edition of business pants joined as always by evil ml lurking. Thank you malefic, Matt mascardi. I'm the battery in between the double A and the Triple-A. What is? Malefic. It actually means evil. I think you're both evil today. Okay. In today's carpet flavored edition of nugget odor, business nuggets called March 24th, 2022 Damion Spitz nuggets. Matt, cuddles up to an SEC commissioner And Emma plays Scrabble blindfolded. I didn't know I was like good stuff. Let's do some old-fashioned. Biz nuggets. Come on. You ready? Bit nuggets? At me, it sounds like a category is the categories here from our apology tour. in our, Weight. I learned this in the fourth grade, the order of operations is one do something racist to sit around Three. Get caught out on it, for regret it five. Sit around six. Watch a walkout happen, 7 apis, headline of the week. Disney World now regrets Racist. Dance routine by High School. Indians. Now there's part of that headline is now regrets now. Now, exactly, that was number four in the order of operation, even regrets is the best part it's now. Yeah, it is now. They weren't tipped off by the name of the high school. The Indians. They were tipped off by that. Yeah. Anything that ends with at kind of makes me in a comfortable. Moving on a big data in our. Will this headline make Emma like apple more? What if I told her that? 59% of open us leadership roles were filled by people from underrepresented communities in the past year and 47% were filled by women headline of the week. Apple is hiring more women in underrepresented minorities into leadership. I could have never guessed that headline from the Preamble before the headline. All right, I guess that's a failure. Moving on. In our. Will this headline? Make Emma like apple more part 2. Hello the week? Well, I love it when he does sequels Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, says of all big Tech. Facebook is number one that I don't like. That was Emma gets behind it. Moving on the CEOs rule in our, The DJ audience member pay ratio is 87,500 to 1 headlines of the week. Goldman Sachs CEO, DJ diesel is playing a set at Lollapalooza this summer. I like that. I had that data point, I thought the SCC mandated disclosure of Musician Act 2, average audience, member Perry show. In our, how many sentences did I have to read in this story before I got to the phrase spend more time with his family? The answer is exactly two headline of the week. Kickstarters CEO is stepping down, citing personal reflection. Oh, That's fine. That's that's actually looking at your face in a lake. Second sentence. He said, he want to spend more time with his family. Oh, okay, let me get there, I got it. In our imaginative, the headline had read CEOs, sexist joke in speech amuses. Headline of the week. CEOs, sexist joke and speech backfires. I like your headlight. I wait, does anyone want to know that one? Another story? That was my question. Even why everyone that's part. Here we go. This is at a tourism and Hospitality conference. The CEO's name is Vivek Sharma, he asked attending women to stand up to acknowledge International women's day. He then said, Okay. Now, go clean rooms and do dishes. Yeah well done. What's the? I don't see the problem. I mean I mean I'm waiting the role model waiting for the joke part. Yeah, he's literally asking them. Can you go? That's just literal angry. Yeah. Where's the joke? Uh, in our reportedly, there was an internal dispute about including a virtual wet nap in Wingstop's trademark to sell chicken wings in the metaverse headline of the week. Wings. Stop, CEO. Charlie Morrison, departs. Oh, he's gonna miss the whole all. The fat in my neighborhood. Speak. It looks gross. I went to the website moving on to deep fake me. Speaking of all that bigness in our possible product names, include hummus, he hero, no cauliflower Angel and Randy, the radish role model. Get it meatless jerky headline of the week, Beyond me and Pepsi launch meatless jerky as the first product under the plant-based partnership. There are a lot of things that you could release if your Pepsi you went with meatless jerky as their first. That's your first play. You know. Isn't it? Yeah, I mean how many people eat jerky to begin with is jerky deal? The dying art. Here we go. In our Customers found the jagged edges of the Jerry Springer Show and a sharp piece of How I Met Your Mother headline of the week. A pancake mix sold at Walmart and Kroger was recalled over concerned about cable fragment contamination. Oh, that's a pun that it's literally what the worst headline? You what's a cable for? I don't know. That's that's the That's the worst that I don't know, but I I hate puns. So And I'll wrap up this section, I got another section coming, don't worry one more from our drugs category in our. I'm just happy to be alive to be able to read headlines like this headline of the week rapper. Pusha T says he helped McDonald's coin. I'm loving it. Jingle. Now, he's slamming Filet-O-Fish in a diss track for Arby's. Say anything to it? Yeah, I did. That'll be the headline of the year. It's like a pause there. Matt you take over. All right, it's Hester Peirce time. Are you ready? This is the least enthusiasm I've ever heard for an SEC commissioner Hester. Peirce SEC. Commissioner is wrote a five-part descent to the release of the climate change disclosure proposal that came out of the SEC on Monday. She her dissent covers the following. I'm gonna go bit by bit. Number one, climb is already covered by the rules. Number two, it doesn't fit. Materiality number three, it won't lead to better disclosure. The SEC is an authorized to do but anyway the SEC underestimated, the cost to doing it and it hurts investors. Now she says, yeah, there's a lot of things. She also said, at the bottom of the Descent in a footnote, she thought the proposal would be responsible for stepping on her kids Legos. It probably wouldn't walk the dog and it actually could create more global warming if you really thought about it. But let's go over them one at a time, none of those things. Yeah, actually said, she said the first thing is not the others. The first thing she said, It's already covered by the rules. The disclosure rule states that companies have to disclose material things. So for any company for whom climate change or emissions are material, it's already in the rules, you should be disclosing it for if it's not Material, they shouldn't have to. Okay, so I will now list all the companies for home climate change is not Material. Anybody out there. You see what I did Silence? I use silent. How was it possibly? How was it possibly not Material how Somehow Hester, only 25% of us companies, disclose just basic emissions. Forget about anything else just basic commissions. Because it turns out, if you let a company decide what's material, and what isn't sometimes, they don't care what you think. So like inter executive fellatio if they decide that's not Material, they don't disclose it. Even if every scientist on Earth agrees, they may not disclose it. So that is her first descent and it sucks. Number two, Yeah, it doesn't fit and distorts materiality. So materiality the word that gets thrown around Hester uses Thurgood Marshall, the Supreme Court Justice, a decision from 1976. That says materiality is the likelihood. A reasonable investor would consider information. Important to know about a financial decision, okay? Seems to financial returns and decisions first. While I agree with Esther that it's not possible for something to change in the last 50 years. Maybe relying on a standard belt when Pete Rose was still playing baseball. Oh, little outmoded. I mean, okay, can we maybe progress a little bit second updated? What do you think? Where do you think Hester stands a nutrition labels? Like for food. She like anti-discrimination. I think though as a general rule, if most investors think of thing is material and let's pretend that thing is the total Destruction of the planet that we live on then maybe it's material Hester, so maybe he'll very material. Feels a little just saying, I mean, I didn't go to Yale but it feels very material. Yeah, she also says that it won't lead to better disclosure. That's right. This I slow down this one. I don't I just rule will not lead to better disclosure. This is my this is one of my favorite trolling now. She just trolling. Yeah, she's actually claiming that the rule of disclosure, it won't be reliable. You won't get consistent reliable disclosure around climate. and I immediately thought, when I actually read an annual report, Like yeah, CEOs I have they're routinely spouting their thoughts about employees supplying interest rates whether events pandemic's War I saw I mention of Ari's room mic Kyle because the shoes he bought once but heaven forbid we asked them to to write an opinion on something that actually results in all of our death. So, I'm gonna go with the disclosure rule about disclosure actually does do better at more disclosure. I'm just gonna guess she goes on to say that the SEC authorized to even do this in the first place. Sec's mandate is to protect investors. Facilitate Capital formation and Foster Fair orderly markets. This is out of scope. This is the mom says I don't have to argument. Then again. How companies contribute to the implosion of the earth probably is inside of scope. I don't understand this though, but this is the part, I don't really understand. How does this not protect like me say, as an investor if I if I try to invest in a company, wouldn't I want to know how they're dealing with the risk of this? I don't understand how this seems to be like such an easy one as opposed to all of the pay rules that they got through 10 years ago, miraculously. I don't know how they got more disclosure on pay. Congratulations, well done. Well done. I mean really. That was incredible. But this one isn't just seems like a no-brainer. I don't want to get this one at all. This is a systemic risk. It has nothing to do with a company. This is oh, this is like, right. I think it's Jesus. Oh geez. Not listening. Yeah. Next, she goes on to say, the SEC is underestimated, the cost. This is going to be expensive. Because the cars to figure out how you've destroyed, the universe is just a little too high for the company. We are sorry to me like that, you like that but yeah, I make you take some small portion of the massive profits. You've made to tell us the cost of humanity of your existence that is a barrier to entry somehow. Let me just ask this is Hester in her dissent that she does. She outline what the cost will be? Does she estimate the cost? What is the cost now? She just says, it will be prohibitively expensive because they have to go get an accreditor one Higher experts and all that kind of stuff. So you so you have to give more jobs, is that it Cheap and Matt Levine in his in his his piece yesterday was arguing that the cost would be higher and it would make more jobs and that some companies might choose to stay private now and said to go public because they'd rather not say these things. I had that. That old excuse, I love man, excuse, I really love whining. It's my favorite part. I hate that favorite part of capital markets. They might move to China. Why write official? I mean not China's gonna win. That's what I'm hearing finally. And there's no little cute voice with this one. She says the rule would hurt investors. I'm just gonna end with a quote because the quote actually makes it obvious how the rule actually helps investors quote. How wonderful it will be for an executive who is failed to produce solid Financial returns to be able to counter critics with a glowing report on climate transition. Dear shareholders, we fell short on our earnings Target this year, but you will be pleased to know that all in all it was a fantastic year since we made great progress on our climate transition plan. If the CEO's compensation is tied to lower greenhouse gas emissions, she can forego the focus on company Financial value. So, 20th century and spent her time following the proposals urging to convince suppliers, to shift to Electric transport fleets, and customers to freeze their jeans instead of washing them evidence. This is fake. The woman in her sceen. That part you just read it was all she actually wrote. That is a direct why from her dissent. I don't understand. She just like, she just like a troll. She's just like intentionally going on the wrong side of History. Just to troll people. And why she's so angry and what is she talking about? Like I don't I don't really understand any of this, I don't know, but her dissents are required reading for me. Now, she's a crypto Mom, I love it. But really like the percentage of The percentage of CEO pay actually tied to like ESG targets. Like this is probably what 1%. I mean if that I mean it's such a minimal amount. I mean, chose she's like but she's but she's like, she's corrupt. She's perverting the truth here to make an angry Point. Like, that's what makes me insane about this. I'm sorry, the point to me is like that she's making, I find comical, it's that she chose in her scenario a female CEO, there's like one true percent of those in the Fortune 500 earlier, she talks about like Capital markets. Are all about like fostering invention somewhere. There's a little girl with an idea for climate. Change that maybe won't bring it out. And she mentions like somewhere in Cleveland, is a little girl who is inventor in the vein of and names to inventors. One of whom is a black guy, from like 1910. How many like like these are purpose Is for her, right? Like, it's like crying wellness and then putting a female CEO in hero, a female and black inventor. Because we know women are more open to this in general like within this field, right? I mean we so is that what is another troll? I I think it's all a joke. I think it's all a brilliant joke. Congratulations has your five descents. I'm not buying them. Hester call us up. Come on our show and I would love her. She would come on, I don't think, I think she would not I I wish I hate to wrap up my part on more dumb jokes after all that I feel like but I'm gonna do it anyway. I don't care. Here we go. In other words back to me. Okay, billionaire. That's the category in our Is long, haired snake, oil, salesman aboard, diversity demographic, headline of the week. Would you want X wework CEO? Adam Newman on your board of directors? Yes, yeah, definitely. I wouldn't mind that I'm here. I think it would be funny. I would actually like to collect all of the Enron Taiko, we work, Uber board, CEO, or board members, and just put them on our board, just for fun. I just want Adam, I don't want those people. Let's move on to our pledge. Promise about 2015 category in our Why? Wow, when you can aim headline of the week? Ryanair, to aim for carbon neutrality by 2050. I like that. I like that for it. That's good. That doesn't promise anything. Just aiming. In our insiders say, they have trademarked A system that involves amputation and an artificial limb made out of two liter Mountain Dew bottles, headline of the week. Pepsi, vows to reduce single-use Packaging. You see what they're going to do there? Yeah. I you're gonna they're gonna put the soda on your arm that's and it's just kind of connect to your. Yeah. I think the math isn't work on that. Right. Let's move over to stakeholders rule. Don't worry Godly in our Am I the only one imagining a sea of white to be a Holiday Inn pool filled with warm skim milk at the week? I don't know what's wrong with me in that one. Here's a headline sea of white, Latino leaders fight to reshape us boardroom. Now all I can think about is warm skim milk that just ruined what they were actually doing. In our worst category in our, is it too late to convert free float? Media into a Haven headline of the week? Russian billionaires are running out of Haven Saskatchewan's. Don't worry, they still have bringing here coin. They still have Bitcoin. In our, hey, Ma the dictators are squabbling again. Tell Dad, and I said, I wanted a honey mustard nft. I told you already, my avatar is allergic to The Spicy Thai peanut sauce. Headline of the week. Do you think avatars will have allergies in the future? So I really do. I'm allergic to, I Russia Outlaws, Facebook and Instagram after labeling meta extremists. I like well, let's wrap up dictator's Outlaw. Other dictators, that's seems fun. That was the first. That was actually, the first joke I went with the, I didn't think it was enough. I like to tell, Dad dad's the tell Dad, bit has been going up for like a year. It's my favorite. I just like an avatar being alerted to peanut sauce. Let's wrap up with woke data in our That day, you wake up realizing some of your fellow shareholders are assholes headlines of the week. BuzzFeed shareholders urged the company CEO to shut down its money. Losing award-winning news division. Yeah and by money losing I the report said 10 million dollars a year, this is for award-winning journalism so I do the math. No, Hester would be all yeah, Hester would be cutting that up. Yeah, you know, I'm not if they tied it to climate goals, true lose money. Then that's true in our, uh, oh, My Holiday Inn pool pool filled with warm skin. Milk Spidey senses tingling. Again, headline of the week. We need to talk about why we still see CEOs as white men. Do we need to because they're just white men know because they're white men. I mean, look, I'm sympathetic to the, to the author of this article. You know, she kind of impassion laid out steps to deal with this, but let's be real, they're white men, I don't know, we need to say more than that thing. no, and finally, in our the movie will be rated PG for pretty gay and I'm so proud. But not in a gay pride kind of way that were tracking stories from Christian headlines.com headline of the week. Disney to restore same-sex kiss in light year, amid outrage over Florida's, parental rights and education. Bill I I thought this story was made up like an onion story. 2022. They took out a same-sex kiss. Yeah, I I'm That's what the Whistleblower at Pixar came out and said that they added all that stuff out. They were you were on this before I thought you were talking about like something from 1996 or something. I know this is like yeah. Like it just came out. Yeah, we actually need to get a subscription to Christian headlines.com. I think that's the real takeaway here. I think we're apparently we already have one because I'm a tag that story. Yeah I did. All right I'm gonna get us out of here. All right. We're gonna switch it up a little bit. To the price is wrong. A fun new game on business pants. Yay. And so we don't kill ourselves. I'll turn this off now. There we go. Thank god. Oh, I like that. I like it too, but it was a little much. All right, so it's sued. This is the price is wrong. I'm going to read a headline and Matt and Damien have to fill in the correct dollar amount that I omit from said, headline as usual at the Kentucky stints have any contextual questions. They are allowed to ask them, but I retained the right to refuse to answer. So either you'll be good. Guessers or you've been paying attention to the news ready. Let's play. All right. Okay, the price is wrong. Number one, Nancy Pelosi's husband just bought blank dollars worth of Tesla stock. How many dollars of Tesla stock did Nancy Pelosi's husband buy. It's gotta be at least a million. It's yeah. Because the headline only works the million in it, it really does and it would be outrageous if it was more than 10. So it's between 1 million and 10 million. I'm gonna go with three million that's gonna go with. I was gonna go with two because one doesn't feel like enough. And so let's just go to two. Three does seem like a little bit much, but it's an outrage, he headlined. So three ding. Ding, ding, ding. Ding for Damien Damien is almost spot on. It is 2.2, okay? That's a win right down? Yes, demon closest he wins. All right. The price is wrong. Number two, Wall Street bonuses. Hit a record high of blank dollars per worker last year. Oh, well, this couldn't be a million know. But it's, it's gonna be like, 300,000, like your average employee takes home, 200, or something, median, employee. So, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go 300,000. That's what would be my guess, really? I, so 100% of their salary you think they're getting? Yeah, I mean, well, you gotta balance it against like someone who's in clerical who got like, six thousand two, right? So it's got to pull down, you know, some of the millionaires. I don't know. I'm gonna I'll just I'll take half to sell. I'll say 100,000. I have no idea. Correct, answer is 257,500 dollars per worker. That was almost dead on. If we're doing this by 100 Matt rounding up, you win? Correct. All right. Round it up. Yeah, one mountain. We have. One more than a bonus. All right, here's the Third. The minimum wage should be blank dollars an hour if it Rose at the same Pace as Wall, Street bonuses. What would the minimum wage be? Account. I have no idea. 25 dollars. 62 dollars an hour. Oh, Damian you're going with 25. Yeah. The answer is 60 is 61 dollars and seventy five cents. Matt is almost dead on. That was crazy. Yeah, that's it. I mean you basically just won you won everything you want. That was a little guy. I just pulled a number out of like Hester pierces mouth. That's what I did. That was great. That's incredible. All though. Yeah. Not you not exactly right. So, you know, rounded up. Okay, maybe here is your bonus round. Here, you have two numbers to fill in. I have just in this moment where Winner Takes all if you get both numbers correct. That those are my rules. All right, bonus rounds. Mackenzie Scott says she has given away blank dollars to 465, nonprofits in the last nine months, raising her total to blank dollars since she pledged to give away most of her Fortune. So the two numbers I need are the number, I'm already the number the amount of money that she has given away in the last nine months and the total amount of money that she's giving away since she pledged to give away her Fortune. I, It's a lot of money. It's a lot. I gotta be in the billions, right? I mean, no, I the second one has to be in the billions. I'm gonna go with the second one. I think is like 1.2 billion and I'm gonna go with no like 600 million. She just announced like a like there was just a massive amount. She gave to houses the shelter, Jimmy Carter's thing habitat for me, man, Habitat for Humanity. Yeah, I'm gonna go with 650 million. She gave away to 465 non-profits in the last nine months, bringing her total to 1.7 billion, okay? I think you're you're right about the first number. I want to say 500 billion, but the second number, I gotta be like, more like 5 billion, right? No, I think she had like five again total. Don't say no, don't say, no. You're right answer, Emma. Give me the correct. Answer is. Hey Mackenzie. Scott says, she has Give It Away. 3.9 billion. To 465 non-profits over the last nine months, raising her total to 12.5 billion since she pledged to give away most of her Fortune. You guys low balls. Yeah. Yeah. She's giving away a shit. He'll take something. All right, two dollar one. Yeah, somehow Warren. Buffett keeps talking about how, like, oh tax me more and like, I'm gonna give all my money away. How is it Mackenzie? Scott is actually figured out how to give all her money away. Right now, we're not waiting, not hardly is not that hard like she's giving it away. Currently two real places to do things with it. This isn't a Tesla Donor, advised fund where it goes to a black box for 10 years before anybody actually doesn't anything with it. Don't hurt. Congratulations to Mackenzie Scott for being a human with billions of dollars. Got to be the first, all she had to do was all she had to do is be married to Jeff Bezos. That's all it took. When it's, when you're ex-husband wants to escape to outer space into space dildo, it makes it easier for you to give your money away. Here, that was Damian roles and Emma lurking. I'm at mascar, we have free float media. That's all we have today. Tomorrow is a long-form show. I'm not gonna be here tomorrow. I know record some clips for the show or something, but I'm not here. So you all are going to take it and talk about. Someone's got to do the asshole of the week, if I'm going to be me, I'll make you options and you can vote. But otherwise, subscribe and share and do all that stuff. And if you haven't been watching us on social, we've been posting ESG onion pieces that are so good. You might actually think they were actual announcements about companies. My favorite so far is about the ESG analysts to stare at her scream, because she ran out of coffee before she got to estimating scope. Three emissions, that was in there. That's a real scenario that actually happened and fake at the same time. Come back tomorrow. We'll see you then goodbye.