Business Pants – 2022-04-15

Live. Kill that makes you laugh live from the LinkedIn metaverse. Oh, it's a very normal business. Pants Friday. Sorry joined as always by a scruffy guy, wearing an X-Men t-shirt. That's not me and a woman speaking into a bicycle wheel. I'm a scruffy guy. Wearing an Expos hat. Yes. Well not that hat today, not today. Ari the data Queen is suspiciously absent but I called nine one three a few hours ago. So her disappearance will eventually be taking care of 913. I don't listen to cousin. Let's just get to it. We've been, we've been talking too much this week. This is a, this is our Friday show. We cover the story of the week, we cover the ass holiest of the week goodly as the week. Most irritating irritating, irritating least of the week. Yes he still can't say it. Let's just get it. Like two years. I realize it's without music for our Friday show. It's hard for me. I feel hard. It's hard talking to him about you. I don't want our normal music though. Oh well, you can't, no, I don't want that music. With. I'm adding you to my plane baby list. You can play this. Actually, no, I don't. I don't want that. Oh my God, there's a lot happening. Well, let's get right to it. Here we go. This is for all the the non-serious. Now, this is for the serious. Yep. Ready I am? Matt, you've already raised our credibility, by 1000 percent, by the way. Today, I just want to say, we I did get called out as scruffy and not serious. So, because of your house of my outfit, because because, as far as I can see, the the brain is the same. The body is the same, the mics, the same, the backgrounds, the same, everything's the same, but you changed your. I literally, I, we spent, I've spent, we tell you it up this morning, we spent probably over a million dollars and thousands of hours of work to develop an analytics products, saber metrics saber, metrics for boards, but because I was wearing a t-shirt, I was told no one will listen to us. So it doesn't matter how slow you are. So now this is for the people who didn't listen before, now you have to listen to me because I'm wearing glasses and tie. I don't like it. How about that? About this criticism about the 1000 of hours. We put just into putting this show together the researching into proxy statements, all that stuff, but that's all All. The the steering wheel, okay. All right, let's go. Come on Story. The week. I don't really actually even care. Here we go. Don't take me, seriously. You know, it's fine. Here we go. This one's I'm gonna go, I'm trying to get through this quickly failing already. Elon Musk and Twitter. That's that's the first story that we obviously. Well, I did like this heaven. I like this headline at of CNBC. Elon Musk could try to run three major companies at once the last known CEO, who did it. Is now an international fugitive. I like to see NBC like that's a one-to-one correlation. Yeah, they make fun of all I know people take us seriously. Number two meta spent a record 27 million dollars on Zuckerberg Security in 2021. That's the headline this is for things like 24/7, bodyguard protection. Which, you know, there's a lot of questions I could ask there, I'm not sure 24/7 but I'm not sure how this even rates and as one of the stories of the week. Yeah. What. No, I know, I just felt like I want to talk about it because I like the idea of 24/7 bodyguard protection because I I'm thinking about like, you know, he also has a happy time with his wife. I think an office with a bulletproof glass and a panic button and I'm not mistaken. Oh, you just reading my next Bull, he's reading my next. Oh no. Because I actually you'll hear this story again later. Three times. You know what he also has. He also has an office with bullet resistant glass. It's almost like we plan this. All right, I did a little math because I'm working on a new data point, and this is called we have CEO pay ratio, which is already born by now, because no one really knows how to interpret it and I know the governor's Geeks think it's important. It is but can we come up with more than one data point? Every like no, we're single issue. How about, how about a Security pay to your executive ratio to see who you really? Who you give a shit about being alive, okay? So let's just use Let's use the metaphor. No. It would be how much they care about them there. It's a fear indicator, isn't it? Always changing the pronoun. Well you what are you disagree? I'm disagreeing with. It's not how much we care about them being alive. It's how much they're afraid that they're going to die. Well yeah the board. Yeah that's what I like about. They allocate this money. Yeah it's really the competition. Here we go. Let's do meta. So Zach gets 26.8 million. Sheryl Sandberg gets a lot too. She gets 11.3 million, that's roughly to two to one. What are we calling this? I don't want you dead radio. That's good. We're gonna show you. Two to one that's not bad for Cheryl. That's a lot of money. Is it a little tidbit here? Little tidbit Cheryl actually travels more than 2.3 million travel are purse. You know, private jet cost 1.6 million results. I just want to point out that she's the one they tried out to give all the bad news and it's she has to say, don't shoot the messenger. Like she's the one in the line of fire. I don't know why. Zuck's walled up in an island. He bought for himself. Like who is infiltrating Sheryl Sandberg? He's the one. Who's like, oh yeah no we're actually good for teens. Like she's got to say that in front of people. He I hear what you're saying but still 11.3 million is probably hear it more. Any other CEO? You hear what I'm saying? More because I'm wearing a tie. That's true. That's right. By the way, this is all information from the meta's 2022. Pro we're not serious that. We don't read process we're not serious. Here we go number three. CEO David Wainer. 169,000 that's it so that ratio there I I I'm free if you die ratio whatever calling 1591. No one cares about the CFO though. But who we do care about? Yeah, I don't know, I'm really understand that part of it who we do care about is Chief product officer. Chris Cox. That's Cox. If you can't score at home, he gets one point two million dollars. So that's, that's not bad. That's a 22 to one ratio. So we were kind of we're, you know, we're 20 tight, two times more scary. I can't even figure out how to say this. Do we think though the High ratio like David Werner at 159 to one way, does that mean that he just doesn't like leaving his house? It's just easier to protect him because he sleeps in a basement. The possible, let's move on to Marnie. Levine is Marnie. I think it's a Marnie Levine. She's the chief business officer. Come on, get serious, no one protects that. What? I don't even know what that does. Anyone even know what that mean? No, that's the most fungible position in a company. Okay. She only gets 66,000. That is a ratio of 406 to 1. That's gotta hurt. I that's really, it's got a heart 66,000. What is that? And that's nothing that. Well, nobody sounds like nothing, but it also sounds like a lot. Yeah. Like a lot. And finally, just put this, on the perspective. Twitter CEO been in the news. Of course, a lot. This week Prague Agarwal. His, the security spent on him 64,000 less than Chief business officer. Marty Levine. He protecting it. Yeah. True. Well, but that tells you something, right? That tells you something here, about the Twitter board game of Who's Gonna Hate Elon or not, is that? Anyway, that's the second story. Third story is that Amazon, I just, I'm just, I'm just pulling this door because I'm mocking it. Here's a headline IMD, IMDb TV. Will be renamed Amazon Freeview, freebie like free TV, r e e, v e. Exactly like free are they trying to apply that it's free? Is it free I guess? This is the best they can do. Thank you. Andy jassy. Wow. They had a marketing team, come up with that, finally. And finally, I mean, you can tell I'm picking these stories because obviously the story of the week is musk on Twitter. So I'm just had to fill out my roster here. Finally the fourth story of the week, here's a story that the corporate governance see ESG World fails to point out that we point out regularly. I think it's important. We're the only one Who talked about this Shopify hires new chief of talent? Right? As it overhauls, pay amid an employee out, crying and falling stock price. And who was the new chief of town? It's a no right. Right to you Silas. And what was her last job. She was previously the chief diversity and inclusion officer at IBM. I'm just saying, I think there's something here that none of the Fancy Pants ESG, experts cover. But I'm going to cover it. I think it's important this pushed to get more Yeah, we are this push to get more women in leadership which is an admirable push. This is what it gets. It's been getting us. Routinely is women either ahead of Human Resources, head of diversity head of legal occasionally, occasionally CFO? Occasionally but none of these roles. See if I included that don't usually get they don't become CEOs, it's not part of The chain know. Yeah. I mean stop it. All right, well I'm just pointing out pointing out so for so for you morning start analysts who are just like scrambling to think of something, the right about, right about this today, come on, give it to your boss. All right, I need to take off my glasses. The answer is must likewise it is all so Musk Okay, the dumb. I'm gonna agree. I'm gonna answer. I'm gonna agree now. I look, there's nothing to be done. I went through all that. Yeah, I want you hundreds of stories that we pulled in tagged and look, it's musk trying to buy Twitter. All right, moving on as holy, oh, that is my serious voice. This week's asshole of the week are gonna keep it. Simple, you three choices and they're basically all the same thing. Number one, Billionaires. Yeah, here's some headlines. Here's some headlines to consider with your billionaires. Okay? Yeah. Headline. Number one, Starbucks Chief. Howard Schultz, talks of non-union, staff benefits, which I presume like actually means Holocaust blankets for everyone if you're not in the union, that's the thing, right? Yeah. Not everyone, but only non-unionized Jews. Got the Holocaust. Blankets. That's the way that worked, right? I'm pretty sure. That's I'm getting uncomfortable. I'm getting number two headline. Amazon CEO says workers are, quote better off without a union and the company's injury injury rate is quote, misunderstood I think, is misunderstood a euphemism for something that billion wouldn't miss. They say, misunderstood they mean I guess it's like an else, right? I guess it's like fake news. Yeah, it's like it's just like fake news. We yeah. Like a Les political way of saying this is fake news. Yeah, it's a way of saying like I don't like you pushing this. Why are you eating the lies were feeding you? Can't, you see, I'm wearing a tie, your facts make me uncomfortable, what happened to the glasses? The Duane Reade called and want their glasses? No, Dwayne. And Reed did not call and do not want their glasses back. All right, his name is next up is meta, spent 27 million on Zuckerberg, Security in 2021. I I'm agreeing with Damien here. This is very billionaire move because, right now, Simply Safe actually is a 30% off discount that ends this month. It's 300 dollars for your entire house in 30 dollars. A month with monitoring. I don't know what you're doing with the other 26.97 billion or million dollars. But it's really not that expensive. And another headline, the 25 wealthiest people in America, like Bill Gates, and Michael Bloomberg. Paid a lower tax rate than someone earning 45,000 dollars a year. A massive new report shows. I don't know why we need a new report on this. This is literally the same report that comes out every single year, every single tax season. It's the same report that says the same thing, right? Basically, every year, it's Every year, they say the same thing. And then finally Arris Abigail Disney says, quote billionaires are miserable unhappy people and it's time for change. Quote, the billionaire bashing needs to happen. I don't know why we're being so polite. Yeah, I don't think we're, I don't think we are. Are we being know? I mean, I'm wearing a hat. Well, I mean you look ridiculous. No one takes you. Seriously, I only have two degrees by the way. So I, if I had a third degree, maybe I would take out the hat off. My Casio question, asked me all the questions Zuck, 27 million dollars in security. I'm gonna do some really complicated math. So if I hired three 24/7, security guards with a really big gun. Yep, sure. So that's three because I'm gonna give them all eight hours shifts. Let's say four because this is seven days a week, I'll give them all, like, eight hours whatever four to cover the whole week. Four times 1000, I'll get 100 thousand dollars that's generous. I'll give him 100 dollars, okay? You should give him six point seven million a year because that's how much That's 600,000 dollars for Around the Clock. Big guy gun. What more do you need? I don't really first of all sexist, you know? The big guy. Yeah. Why don't you get a female Ninja? And US saving all wrong. So, number one, option for asshole. The week is billionaires. Number two, option for asshole. The week is man, babies. Here's some headlines to consider with man babies. Republicans Jim Jordan. Lauren bobert and more cheer Elon musk's attempt to buy Twitter saying the billionaire will make Twitter great again. The GOP man babies are in Action. A lot of GOP. Snowflakes, really like this Elon Musk move. How about this headline women? Say, food? Delivery drivers, harass them, say firms didn't help and just for point of reference here, 100% of food delivery service app, CEOs. Are men and 80% of drivers non-employee employee drivers, are all men. A lot of man, baby, which is kind of scary because because they're probably like, Quasi out of work, dude. Living in their mom's basement. I'm sorry. I'm scared me. Am I any time? Can I just ask you this? I want to rail your your wonderful. Thank God, there's the buzzer that's always the week. But what kind of assholes don't just call the restaurant directly and get the food. Why would you go through a third party app? What are you doing? Why are you getting involved in this economy? That doesn't give people Bennett? What are you doing? Just call the restaurant. What? I don't understand you in order to call the restaurant, you have to look up from your phone. Here's news to everyone restaurants themselves can deliver that the actual anymore, baby. Walk, you know what, you can leave your apartment, walk down there and just, I'm a picker upper for sure. Thank you. You're go get the New York City in Portland. Maine. That's our sample size here. Okay, we'll go get your. Here's another headline for man babies. Tim Cook hit out at the Anti-Trust Regulators trying to crack open Apple's App Store. Tim Cook being a big man baby about the fact that they control the App Store and everything on it. Oh come on, I'm on his right. He can be man, baby and Android's app store. It's a mess. I tell you like. It's like a, it's just like a viral petri dish mess of like I kind of like the way up Apple controls. I'm finally sorry, get it know what? Don't buy an iPhone how about that? You saw the Crisis crisis averted finally Mexican truck drivers blocked Northbound traffic at one of the busiest entry points in This for the second day of row in a row in protest, a big man baby Governor Greg Abbott's border policies. Well I can look it's a lot of man babies in the news this week so that's a weak man babies. And then our third asshole of the week is yeah. Man, baby billionaires using the first two assholes a week. Here are your headlines, will do them fast because you know where this is going quickly, Elon Musk suit overlay and disclosing Twitter steak, Elon Musk makes 43 billion dollar unsolicited bid. Why a man baby? Because using comprehensive us hedge, fund activism data from 2003 to 2018, we find that activist hedge funds are 52% more likely to Target firms with female CEOs compared to firms with Mal CEOs. Here's a way here is the way you stop activist Investments. Put a woman as a CEO and then you'll get an activist just have more men and you won't. Here's another headline. Elon Musk has at least one friend on Twitter's board. Dorsey, that's a headline. We said, yeah, I don't. Yeah, I read that article. By the way, that, that's not real analysis. I don't know what that is. That's not I'm sorry. They weren't wearing a tie. Sue? I don't care if you're wearing a suit that's not. Actually the time makes it legitimate, it's not how it works. On musk says he has a plan B of Twitter rejects offer Wait. Oh, thought he wasn't playing it back and forth. Know the plan B is not to make another offer. Its to go to Mars or something else. It's I don't know. We don't know what the other good thing is not playing. There's no games being played. He is he Here's the, here's another man baby billionaire. Peter Thiel calls, Warren Buffett at a sociopathic Grandpa from Omaha. Taking aim at bitcoin's quote enemies. We did a whole show on this. Yeah, dive, yeah, but we were wearing a t-shirt. Don't take it seriously. Don't take that hours. And hours of that research. Wasn't real research because I wasn't wearing a tie and here is my favorite headline of the man, baby billionaire week. And it it's really what would have happened if Elon Musk gets Twitter, Oh no, teen behind the popular Twitter account that tracks. Elon musk's private jet reacts to the billionaires proposal to buy the company. The fact is Elon Musk went out and said, Twitter has a free speech problem. And, you know, the first account, he's going to shut down. Is the one that uses publicly available data to track his movements on his private jet. I actually met that's the first, the first reason I've heard why now I do want him to buy Twitter because I want to see if you're right about that because according to him he wouldn't shut it down. He believes he is, he tweeted in January roughly of when he starts thinking about accruing shares. He starts Crews. What in March? So it's you know, he's ruminating because he thought for weeks about it. Thank you thinking about know. I think he actually takes about two days tweeted in January that this is a security risk and he needs to stop. He tried to bribe this like 15 year old kid a dozen times. It doesn't work up your security cost a Tesla, get more money, like Zuck does, what? Those are three options. You can choose billionaires as your absolutely weak know you are the weak or billionaire man, babies. All right, I feel is the man. Baby billionaires have gotten enough attention from the General Media. So I think I'm going to skip right over them and then I think I'm gonna, I think probably all the same. I think I'm going with man, babies. I think I'm going with straight, man, babies. Yeah, I do. Well, I am very I mean, straight man, not gay, man. Know, so Tim Cook and leave. Know, for Tim the Greg Abbott thing is getting me. The the support of Elon musk's Twitter, purchase by the Republicans is getting me. They're just all tangential assholes to the big asshole. So I think that's what's grinding my gears about it. I know you're trolling us with you. Yeah, categories. Because of course, when you squint all the same, I'm just gonna disagree do it. And I'm gonna call, I'm gonna call you an absolute moron. I'm not gonna say so I could be if you are a moron, but whatever I say is gonna be there, I'm wearing a tie, your hiding behind them. I just, I gotta go with the I gotta go with the mashup. It's got to be man, baby billion years. Yeah. Why not? I like I like when all the adjectives are hanging out in the same phrase so that's you're all wrong because Abigail Disney is the winner billionaires where the big ass hole of this week would be my vote. Well you don't get no I don't get how this game. You're not there yourself you do you got actually you're the tiebreaker. So I'll give you that one. All right moving on, Emma. Oh no, let's do. I actually, let's do a good list of the week. I know are the data Queen's not here, but she actually sent me her choices. I'm gonna read them for you. Here we go. This is a inside joke inside joke later on inside joke inside joke. So if you haven't never listened to our show you're going to hate this joke. Here we go. Goodlow stories of the week. First, there's Google's first week back in the office included marching bands, mayor visits and traffic jams and Ari's comment was I love marching bands. That's a good one. All right. Okay. Number two, Amazon's latest feel good, climate campaign, enlists, Alexa to plant trees. Ari says, I love this. Who doesn't love planting trees? Sorry, you know, Alexis not real, right? This sounds like, Ariana speed. Number three. That's already number three PG&E agrees to pay, 55 million dollars in penalties and costs over two. Wildfires already says, I think this is great. They should pay a fine. That's a lot of. She just hit me on slack and she said, she also likes fires. They're good for smores. And finally, her fourth July week Starbucks is weighing better benefits for employees, but says, they could exclude. Union workers already says, I know, it's not for everyone, but it's great that so many workers will have better benefits. So those are the four. Good lead stories. Go ahead and boat, Emma. Go ahead. Okay. So Ari's giving me some difficult. Choices to make here. The way our roles, I'm gonna the next time that Ari's on the show. I'm gonna need to hear her thoughts about these because something's been a little off to me if you catch my drift, but I think I'm gonna go with the PG&E agreeing to pay the 55 million over a while. Hires because out of those four things, that is the most objectively good. Thing that happened, I think. And I'm really parsing it through, and I'm going, okay? What actually the amount of good that actually came out of this stupid bad headline? I think that's it. Well, you don't like a delicious traffic jam on your son. What are some stats? Ari because I'm wearing a suit and tie. I get numbers more than you do, apparently, 24,000 buildings, destroyed 97 civilians and six firefighters killed and at least 80, non fatal injuries, just for the campfire alone, a 55 million dollar penalty over that Wildfire. That's what we're doing. 55 million dollars. That's it. The reason why a lot of money is why that number is so low, is because the company had to declare bankruptcy because of the liabilities from the fires themselves. The real answer here is Google's first week back in office included, marching bands. I love marching bands, is Ari's greatest analysis. She's ever done. I'm just gonna agree with you so we can move forward. Okay, the guiltiest story that we go to Google's first week, back included, Marching Band. Here We Go. Emma, take it away, irritating. This of the week. See, we're trying to get through this show quickly. I like it. All right, team effort, come on. So irritating us of the week, I'll try to move quickly per Damian's. Instructions number one, this story is a little bit outside of our Zeitgeist, but was so irritating to me that I felt the need to include it anyway. Boris, Johnson, fined for attending lockdown breaking party, to celebrate his birthday. A couple of things. One, we don't know how much the fine is. I looked all over kingdom. Come we don't really know how much to find is, which is indicative of the fact that it's probably going to be relatively low 2. Boar's Johnson is the first ever, sitting prime minister to be found guilty of breaking the law, the first one ever. And thirdly, he gets to keep being prime minister, which is the first and foremost irritating thing. Exactly. How dare he, and all of it is irritating in every single way, second headline. So you think he should be? You think he should stop being prime minister for attending a lockdown breaking party on? Yes, he did make a law for the country that you had to be on lockdown, and then they made the law party for him broke the law. It was the first person to ever break any law as a sitting prime minister. Well, who got? Yes, I love it. Thank you Damian. Okay, all right and number two, number two, meta, spent a record 27 million dollars on Mark Zuckerberg security, and private jet travel. Okay. We do, we all the same stupid story. It is weird, that all three of us, got that story on our own, it is both irritating asshole and story of the week. I don't think this one needs an explanation but by Damian's reaction I think that a nice little side piece of irritation is the fact that we all picked it which makes Damien even more mad at it. So yeah, we've irritated Damien by picking it. Absolutely, I think that this is like a meadow way of me winning. I guess. There's no winning the Friday show, but I'm sort of winning. Yeah, that's a good. Number three. Starbucks is advertising for an in-house lawyer with experience in strike. Contingency planning. Amid increased unionization efforts, so, Starbucks. Basically, posted a job opening for a professional Union Buster, which is cool. Yeah, Emma. I I'm glad you brought this one up because it kind of aligns with my one of my stories. Which is that, are you gonna be able to find a woman who's a, who's a professional Union Buster, because it doesn't really line up with how corporations use women, because they usually make them, they usually put them in the kind of the ESG rolls. So, how are they gonna find a woman who also hates And they put him in the, in the Human Resources roles, how you find a woman, who is a lawyer and hate their worker know. They are not gonna be a woman, but you are missing the forest. Wait, what the you're missing? The forest for the trees, which is the amazing linguistic turn of phrase of strike contingency, that's the thing. That's right. Actually just see playing. Tell me why, you know, irritating. That's fantastic. I think we should rename everything. We don't like in a way that makes it sound more palatable to everyone strike. I think using the word contingency is the word, why do we call it security spending for Mark Zuckerberg and not death? Contingency. Death tendency. That's sounds way more like 27 million for death contingency, that's not enough spend more. Or what about? What about decapitation specific and gory with it. Nice. Yeah. Like yeah, there's all sorts of contingency planning. We could be doing All right, and finally number four, Amazon's latest feel good, climate campaign and lists Alexa. That's right. That's that's good lies. Yeah, Emma. What did you do today? You just open the eyes and possibly tell you how we ended up with such similar headlines. Okay? Um, so every time it Alexa user tells Alexa to plant a tree, so you're like Alexa plant a tree. Amazon will donate one dollar to the non-profit? One tree planted. This is obviously greenwash City. They have like, shut up Amazon. I don't know what to tell you they have an F rating from climate accountability groups because they don't account for a missions in their supply chain and I'm pretty sure they're supplied chain is like their whole thing, so they suck. It's irritating me. They must. You probably don't know the answer to this but they must cap that for user. I couldn't you set up a bot in your house or like something that just keeps. That's what I'm praise like. Maybe that was what I was thinking. I'm like, I want a Alexa for Christmas and I'm just gonna sit there and go. Alexa play on a tree. Alexa plant a tree. What if Yeah, right. So we have to time it, so we have to create some system where it times it, right? So that you have to say, Alexa first, Then she starts listening. Then you say plant a tree then you pause and you say it again, right? Yeah. And which is all great but it's also just gonna end up as a tax write-off. That's all it is. At the end of the day. Anyway, Actually, I have to say, the most irritating part of that story is not only that Alexa isn't real and that that all of our loopholes are probably not going to work, but that the story author, no offense, Veronica, Irwin, I'm sure you're very nice. But the last sentence in her story is asking Alexa to donate one dollar for a Seedling isn't quite as an impactful as say using public transport or riding an e-bike. You have to shame. Do we have to shame us? Just have to be all it started shaming like a large corporation which was correct but it ended shaming the individual changes correct. Yeah I want to crap on Amazon. Not myself, correct. Okay, I'm wearing a tie. I think, I don't myself, it's time for a little bit of populist map. Oh, Here we go. Uh, based on the amount of seconds per day, roughly, you know, I don't know. 80,000 ish and Eight, Second Loop. We do this every day, all year long. Each Alexa user could force Amazon to donate 3.9 million dollars. So, all would take was, basically everyone in America, we could bankrupt this company. Right? I mean if everyone just does this on a loop, right? Yes, you're wrong because there's only about 40, there's 40 million. Alexa users times about four million. Each, you're actually how many 40 million Okay, so there's 40 million so you want to do it. So is 4 million dollars a year is how much you can donate or a day. On a 8 second Loop. Maybe we can reduce that a second loop. I don't know. I just started talking about 160 million. Really is what you're going to donate. They've done this math. No, no, no, no. Your mouth is way a 4 million times 40 million. That's the math. Yes, that's not 160 million. I mean, you're you're suit. Is I what's going on? What did you go to, like, Ivy, Junior, country College? What's going on here? 4 million times, 40 million, somebody's 160 million. No 4 million. Oh yeah I did four times 40 million. Yeah yeah. So um that's a lot of money. It's a lot of money but it's not that much money. Come on for Amazon. Wait, I'm a come on, Emma. You help me out here. What do you say? 4 million times 40 million. Come on. Someone help me. That's a lot of. Yeah, it is a lot of zeros. That's 14 zeros. That's in the that's above a trillion. Okay yeah. Whoa, okay. My calculator gave me one point six e, plus 14. So that's a yeah, that's what that's, that's 14. I don't even know what that is. Matt, that's more money than there is in the universe. Probably not the universe, probably not the universe. Yeah. I'll come Elon Musk is aligning up a way to bankrupt Andy jassy, and you're not excited that you did find out a way to bankrupt and you all right, pick your stories of the week, including my horrible popular math time, that completely anchored, the show into a morass of mud and we want some live news. We have some live news breaking, right? This instant Twitter Roberta Elon musk's takeover bid with a so called poison pill. That would flood the market with new shares. He buys 15% of its stock Okay, so What? Now what I wish we could get what we won't get because because this because the public corporation world of disclosure sucks. My butt is that was a board vote. And we did this just yesterday we we speculated how the board would vote. So I would love to see how they vote on this, right? I mean this, yeah, right, I sort of think it was. Am I wrong? This is unanimous. Weirdly I don't know why. Yeah, I sort of do. I feel like if they're well, we'll never know. We'll never know. That's right, Interruption moving on. No it's good. Interruption good. Why are your irritating? His story is. Before we get to that. Why disappointed by that poison? Yeah, because a poison pill isn't specific to Elon Musk. It means that somebody else won't buy Twitter either. Unless they know the poison pill rights Know because if it's a board vote, they don't. They don't have to enact the poison pill for every takeover bid. It's not. So you can still you could still take it over. Some pills are generally not specific to a single takeover bid are they right? But they're not automatically triggered. They're again they're this is a board vote that triggers. Oh as in the poison pill is the board has the right to flood the market. I got. So this that would be very specific. It's still, I was, I was in it, I wanted to now, I'm now I'm worried about Elon musk's Plan B and now I'm worried. Okay. Irritating is the week. All right. Yeah, actually, I want to point out that I do feel like the tie is making me stupider, not smarter. Well it's pretty yeah because it's I mean look smarter but I say stupider things. Let's hear some stupid things right now. Who's your attention? The irritating us the week. So Boris Johnson is like it's not irritating. It feels illegal and terrible. It is terrible. That's not telling you met a spending 27 million on Mark, Zuckerberg, actually sounds reasonable when you call it death contingency. So, suddenly, I like it or or tickle today, Starbucks advertising using strike contingency planning as their language sounds genius. That's very irritating to me. That sounds genius Amazon. Using Alexa to plant, trees is all that. I have left. Although that said, I want more tree plantings, and I don't know how to gel that. So, I'm gonna go with Amazon because Alexa is not real and, and my guess is, there are all sorts of caps and reasons why this won't actually happen. Totally. So I'm going to go with that. I like that, you picked that story. I'm gonna because it points out, remember Amazon, it was Amazon, the won, the March 10th tournament, right? They they because of their incredibly robust and strong greenwashing game. I mean, they pump out more this nonsense than any really do in America, right? Yeah, I mean, they're so good at this and again, this is actual research. This isn't like fake. Put on your tie. Matt mascardi research what this legitimizes every bit of research I've ever done. I'm going to say the one that Starbucks not to me. I just don't, I don't, you're to be wrong, you know, I don't know, anytime I headline. Has a phrase in the middle of it with the single quote thing. In this case, strike contingency planning, it just starts to get my blood boiling. So really the grammar of the headline, irritates you, Yeah, well you got me Matt because like there's something about like the way they named it the way you pointed that out to me actually started to get under my skin. Like you're right. Like it's like the way that they're that they're playing a game just started but I think they should have called it. That's my Holocaust distribution planing Holocaust blanket distribution planing that's what they should have gone with. So I might break the tie. What's the most are changed? I'm gonna go Starbucks. Oh, I'm sorry, who have you wronged simultaneously? Okay, let's try to wrap up the show. Who won the week, who won the week? I mean I'm gonna go. All right. No you go. I pick a boring one, just to irritate. Okay, I'm a little bit. I'm gonna say apple, I'm the week for and this is the reason for this is the reason why Apple won the week for not being Elon Musk for not being meta for not being Amazon, for not being Howard Schultz and Starbucks. They just staying over there and then they won that week because of that, they're just there, that's it. Well, you don't have to analyze my choice. That's just that's just my. Do you want to go next one? Yeah, Matt suit is the winner of the week. It legitimized everything we've ever done. Is it a full suit? Are you wearing the pie in naked away is down? Obviously, that's not. I actually I was born myself between Damien's Expos hat and Abigail Disney but I went Abigail Disney and So yeah, because the exposure dead, it was, I know it's a relic that story well and obsolete thing in a very silly thing. Less obvious. Abigail, please call us. Actually, I'm gonna make a request right here, which we should do not on air but Emma reach out. However, we can to Abigail Disney. Oh, gotta find out. Yes. Oh yeah, I need to get her on the interview thing. Anyone has anti billionaire is welcome here anytime. And I can help you with this project, Emma, we actually should be reaching out to her at least once a week. Just DM her on Twitter every day. Yeah and not the not to like bug her troll. But you always do hear these stories of like you know people like they write David Letterman like five times a week for six years and he finally responded. We should just like stand his lawyers. Finally respond with the cease and desist. Yeah you're not his wife. All right let's end the show. I'm predictions. I have another boring one. Mine is at the next Target of the next fund. CEO Scandal is going to be Andy, Jesse. I think we're ready for nhsi Scandal. I could be into that. I don't know why I thought that. Amazon, CEO, Andy, Jesse. Anyone else? I might my prediction already came. Not true. Yeah good. I love it. I said Twitter's board was going to say yes to Elon musk's offer and put it to the shareholders for a vote instead. They did not. This is why I'm excited. When we eventually release our influence score product because as we know a board, whereas I know what you're thinking say. You have like nine board members. It's just a straight democracy. We know, it's more, it's not a democracy. People know that certain certain directors have a hell of a lot of influence. I'm looking at you Jack Dorsey and so I know that, whereas, maybe these people come and they would have agreed with you, Matt, but but there's a ways of like, leaning on people and influencing people and what are you going to be the, the person who doesn't go along with the CEO and the chair and the founder like so it's a bit more complicated. So anyway, that does not sound like real analysis because you're wearing sweatshirt. Yeah. What and what, who were we to come up with scores? What are we doing? That's a real thing. We shouldn't be doing adults. Do that. Go back to your corner. My prediction is that, I think that elon's plan B, now that he has been rebuffed by Twitter, his plan B is going to be making his first born child with Grimes. The CEO of Tesla. His second born child with Grimes, the CEO of SpaceX. And then he will chained himself indefinitely to Twitter's headquarters until they get annoyed and give up and finally just sell him the company. Well, Twitter's headquarters Yeah, once again. Emma proving that she is a bad is the best predictions. Although she's overlooking the fact that Twitter's headquarters is slated to be a homeless shelter. Yeah. All the better wording to the tweets. Okay well that we know that's not real. Yeah we know by someone who wears a suit He also referred to the SEC as bastards in an interview, you like this week and made the analogy that the way they treated him. When he was fake to eating about Tesla going, private was akin to them. Holding a gun to his baby's head. I'm just saying this is the guy no, I'm wearing a hat, but I'm not kidding. If Emma's correct is baby, very soon as going to be the CEO of SpaceX and will require 28 million dollars per year. Security, what's Kimball going to what? Are you kidding me? Kimball's on a like riding a horse Somewhere in Brooklyn, that's he's fine. Yeah, I will give credit to Elon in this one regard. Is that the best show on TV is succession? Which is actually a ESG corporate governance show and most people just watched it. It's all about. It's all about board battles. It's all about ownership battles, just made it less battles. Yeah, you did. Know, it's it's, it's fantastic. It's a beautiful show, but I will say Elon Musk. I mean, he comes closest to real life. Succession here in general, like all his corporate governance, ESG Shenanigans. It's a very entertaining and that's all I have to say. I'm done. That was a lovely show and I just want to say for the record, we've reached out to some of those governance nerds and the OG of governance. So we've asked them to join us on our serious show, where we look at serious numbers and say serious things and we've been robust, we have we have been, no, it's not true. We had a Emily Chu. Well look family we have we've had some incredibly smart fancy experts but I have also reached out to some other experts who have totally ignored us because of our attire. So now I'm gonna reach back out to you because I've just legitimized everything. Come back next week for more business pants from free float media that was Emily Larkin. Damien Raul's Garden. We are serious. Goodbye.