Business Pants – 2022-06-03

Hello. Oh Melancholy live vary from the bottom of, Jamie dimon's bag of Funyuns. it's yet another data Queen free. Edition of business pants, Friday for reaching all of data Queen's favorite people. Emma lurking, Maddie Overlord and Greggy Pinstripes. I'm Al Horford's lawn mower. Come on. Let's do it Friday. I like you should talk like that all the time. You sound like you're on. MPR gross. All right. What do we got today? It's Friday. Everybody else. Let's do it. We got story of the week, good list of the week. Let's do a story of the week. Come on. Yeah. Okay, story of the week. Yeah, this is pretty easy for me this week. Sort of, sort of the top have half of these Sheryl Sandberg. I'm gonna say Sheryl sandberg's out a CEO. Oh, I like, because I see like angry this morning. Emma. And Matt had to hear my anger, my boring anger, which is that Cyril, Sandberg was the CEO of Facebook and meta for many years now. And that was my hot. Take that egotistical Maniac. Okay, fine, but my it was my anger though. Yeah, physical Maniac, known as Mark Zuckerberg who already is the controlling shareholder? The controlling controls the voting power is one of the, what the guy who is famous for stealing the companies ideas chairs. He wouldn't even give her the title, but let's be honest, and here's the proof. Is that when she stepped down as CEO. Oh yes. Yesterday they had to sort of painstakingly lay out in detail. Why, the new CEO would have a more traditional CEO role AKA is not going to be the CEO. That was actually the proof. Because we never seen that before, because all of the qualities they listed about Cheryl over duties, including all the public facing stuff, that's what a CEO does. So she was a CEO's. So we're officially gonna call her, the former CEO Facebook, no matter, whatever. That's the first story. Second Story, greenwash police raid. This is exciting. I guess. I mean, it feels excited. Sort of all, I might be the wrong word. The DWS Chief there in Germany. Resigned after police raid over greenwashing claims Ahsoka Worman is replaced by Dolph Lundgren? No no not Dolph Lundgren. What's his name? Stephanie Hoops, Dolph hoops. Yeah. Next. Next big story is that we have a new zombie although when I was typing this into my Google doc they suggested the phrase. A new zombie apocalypse. Oh, they're are they Auto completed it to apocalypse or not? Please not directors. Got it. And that's it. Twitter, Twitter Egon was voted out by shareholders, but is decided to stay. Yeah. It's a good move. I mean he is on the he is on the nominating committee is he not? So, like he could he nominated himself? He can't vote from he did, say that. He didn't take part in that discussion but, you know, he was sitting there staring at people so liar. Yeah. And finally, the fourth story of the week is from the depressing pile. Oh, I hate. I hated to include this but I feel like since I think we're the only ones warning everyone about the unregulated metaverse coming. In fact, you know, Zac is now completely free to rule it. The story was that a researcher says her Avatar was raped on metis. I had to include that because we spent consumable my time on it and it's I am sorry. I'm sorry, I'm not I didn't included to totally one of you, but those are my four stories that we I mean, all those words, I just like now, it's like I just hear B, shared. That's all. I said, that's all I should. Anyone should take away when anyone says, meta verse like anything Sheryl Sandberg. The whole everything about those two stories of the week is just B shares. It's just 10 times voting power. One. No crap. That's all I hear anymore. Yeah, I there was a story. There are already like tarnishing her in the in the news. I mean you know, not maybe she deserves some of it whatever but you can't really be a powerful female executive without getting crapped on either when you're in power, when you leave, but there's a, there's a story according to sources. They told the Wall Street Journal that Cheryl was being investigated for using Meta resources to plan her wedding, which sounds like a fake story. It sounds like a plant to me. But the bigger point is, as Matt is alluding to here is we're surprised that there's a lack of structure, a lot of counterbalances, the lack of corporate governance at a company that is Run by One College Dropout and why are we even doing this conversation particulars? At what point does it become an uninvestable asset? Like, what point should a like we want to talk about like sustainability, stakeholder, capitalism, woke, capitalism all the buzz wordy things. If you're an Advertiser and you're using Facebook, at what point do you say like, oh, well, this is probably isn't a good idea if you're an investor and it's like on an index, you're like, it's not a real company. It's a private company. We just invested in and we can't do anything about it. It's not a good idea at what point do we just say there is an amount of profit that makes this investable. It's really just a horrific shit, show of libertarian. In dumpster fire. That's what it is. Now oh, remind people. The stock market. The stock is half of what it was. Less than a year ago. I also remind them, this, they're all unlike an apple, the big worry was what happens when Steve Jobs leaves. I mean, you know, they're selling phones. So, I think that the new guy can figure out how to sell phones. Mark, is creating a fake world where people get raped in. That doesn't really exist in what happened. When the guy who is the company either is burnt out. Quit dies. What are we gonna do? What are you really? What are you investors in Meadow? What, what's next really? Really what I want to know? What? Hope I actually game plan. What's the secession plan there? So sorry. Go ahead on my what? Yeah. My succession plan is hoping that meta, Fades away into nothingness. Well then that's why Matt's, right? It's not investable long term. I do think that Cheryl leaving as much as we want to dump on Cheryl for like a lot of reasons and there's good reasons to sort of dumped on her tenure at Facebook Cheryl leaving, does mean there are no adults in that room. Like they're they're not everyone marketed himself with our basically sick offense, right? Like they're basically people who have been with the company who owe him, everything, who like, you know, he controls in some way whether it's through voting shares. If you're on the board or some other mechanism because he's your boss, it is the mark show and Mom is left like mom's gone. Yeah. So and Peter Teal's gone too. Well, Peter teal, he was more like fun, uncle, Peter Thiel who like, you know, fucking crashed your car and said that was it was it? That was like a good idea to do that. You made a pretty good case though. A year or two ago. How you know, how influential he was to? Yeah. No doubt to Mark's Uprising. Yeah, and now you're gonna get to see every decision is just Mark's decision, right? Like there isn't people in the room constantly like every day there that you can say, it's their fault. When the researcher is raped in the metaverse, there's only one person left to that. Anyone can point to. And you know what? Thank you Mark because last week we were lamenting, in fact, last week one of the bits on our weekly Roundup. I think was what happened like musk suck the air out of Mark Zuckerberg, right? Like Zuck was, you know, a dictator number one and all it took was Cheryl leaving and a researcher getting raped in the metaverse. And we're right back in, its feels good to be right back where we should be. You gotten doesn't even rate compared to those two stories. I feel like which so my vote is going to be Cheryl's out to CEO and the sort of B Part B to that is the metaverse consequences. It's a big consequences, I think. I'm gonna go ahead and agree. I think there's no arguing. That Cheryl is certainly the story of the week and though I appreciate you, including the metaverse sexual assault because despite it not being the story of the week next to Cheryl, I think it would be other weeks. And I'm glad that we're talking about. I can't believe that we see that anywhere else either, like you only got that. Basically, you're learning about it. Probably here, no one. Yeah, here's the, here's the real story that we really missed though. Is that how about in this headline, forget the horrible, first part sentence, but they said that she was raped on Meadows. Metaverse platform. Can we think, could we talk about that for five seconds? The company is called the company called meta platform. How you comfortable with that description metis, metaverse platform. I feel about know and they did it on purpose. Yeah. What platforms at averse platform? Yeah, what is happening? This is this is why you should be afraid. This is a control of this because there's a lot of weirdness going on that's all I'm gonna say. That is metaverse platform we get you know only here can we jump to the second part of this of the sentence don't worry about the Grand Market. Goodly. As of the week, moving on to the story shows, every blah, in honor of Ari, I put this together last four or five weeks and I promise you for those of you who love Ari and I think it's everybody because I don't think our parents are too little. Yeah, true. I always try to channel Ariane. I pick these are always try to. I try to think of her looking at the headlines and like getting really oddly excited about how good these signs. Here we go. All right, you can't get out of your own way, doing it. I'm sure first ones for Me. Maybe the first one. Here's the headline from dead spin. Half of the coaches and the NBA are black. The NFL doesn't have any excuse anymore. I just wanted to point this out. We don't we don't talk about. We talk about diversity in leadership a lot, but this is a this is important coaches, MBR blocks spin this, spin this back to like. So the MBA is a majority black player league right spinning this back to companies like the the majority of your work force, 50 51 ish percent of your Workforce are women. You know 20 to 30% are probably people of color. That I can, you can say companies don't have an excuse, why there's not 50%, female CEOs, or or 20, or 30% people of color, or CEOs. You could spend this year, this is a great headline. No one has, no one has an excuse Continue. So I say, yeah, I'm gonna this This headline is in the incorrect category and there are six headlines in this category and Damian was just greedy. Well, why is that? Why? Is it correct? I think this is important. I I had something just over it is important. It's just irritated by it, it's coming. Next now I'm starting to really channel. Are you HSBC? UK is letting 35,000 staff lease electric vehicles as part of an increase in climate Focus perks. Well, climate perks. I'm gonna once again jump in and say that this is in the wrong. Oh, this is the msci. When I worked at the mothership and if the mothership would offer me anything interesting? Like you have a lot of interesting perks. I would, I would have absolutely been on top of this. This is cool. I think, but here's the thing, you could read a headline that says us, brings heroin deaths to zero and Emma would be like, I can find something here about that. So, it's about this one. Don't you think this one might irritate map? But I thought, I'd include this because I was thinking about Ari SEC, takes aim at fun name. So they're gonna They're not gonna let you name your fun fun. Like, you know, like Reggie Jackson, unicorn fun. If it's not actually full of Reggie Jackson, looking, whatever. Yeah, I agree. Yes. So I I don't know. I kind of thought this was a, is this good? I don't even know. Matt, this is irritate you irritated. I'm also I'm also like not non-plus by, it seems like very pragmatic in some ways. Yeah, I guess they haven't they haven't looked at this for, but this is pragmatic just of the week. This is good leader. Okay, continue. This one's for me. This fourth one. This is the one that this is the extra one to Dashie Yanni Yanni, the billionaire founder of Unique Glow. In the richest person in Japan has seen his net worth crash by 44%. So far this year. Here's why I include this one. A revel in his time. Here's why I'm happy about. This is why it's good to me every time I go to Newbury Street in Boston, with my daughter, which is quite frequently. It's it's, you know, it happens a lot. I end up wandering around and I always go and unique low because I know sometimes I'm looking at stuff for myself and every time I go in there, I leave with the same feeling which is this stuff is just garbage, it's cheap, it's horrible. I hate it. I hate everything. I always leave feeling depressed, so I'm happy, he's losing money. Okay, you guys are staring at me. I don't agree with you in that one. Oh yeah. You don't have to spend any time. This next one's for Ari. New York plays, 22 renewable energy plants to reach climate goals, the governor's objective, as a zero Mission grid by 2040. Love the plant. I love a good plan. My energy bill is going to go down because, no, it's probably gonna go on the grass level. Yeah. Um, And finally, we used to have a lot of fans in Finland. Although I was that we were number one in Finland at home. We were number one. Yeah, we were, it was great. So I want to shout out Finland, here's a good headline from them. Finland set. World's most ambitious, climate Target in law, aims to be the first developed country to reach Net Zero by 2035 and yes, negative negative absorbing more CO2 than in the midst by 2040. And here's just the reason why I included the story is just so I could remind you of this finland's cabinet, including prime minister Sonoma, Marin consists of 19 members, only seven or men, I love it and including the minister of the environment and climate change. Yes, they have a minister of the environment, climate change, Emma Carrie. So I don't want to, I don't understand why you have five other options up here that were all relatively. Like they were really just about you. They were just one was stupid. I was watching basketball last night and proud of that and the unique clothes just dumb. So I don't I mean, you ready to vote? Ready to vote? Yeah, Emma. Do we need another? It's been. Well, what's so obvious about this list? It's just Finland. We're at the NBA. About the, you have to wait. You have to be patient right now. You were greedy with your headlines and now you have to wait. I should learn a musical more. Yes, you should have a great. That is everything I've ever hoped for. Um, yeah, no, it's absolutely Finland. I definitely do have some like, qualifiers one. Being that Finland has a very homogenous like a population and it's very small population of people and but like they're doing all the stuff they really are doing all the stuff. So I cannot be mad about it. You kind of say, I live in the Finland of the United States. You can't blame people for not wanting to move to a miserable cold place, like you and white people, is that you're saying, okay? But I'm saying, like, the reason why this happens in places in Maine. It's, it's a miserable Place wrong with you. Everyone hates the winter. No, one wants to move here. You just don't understand. No one wants to move to Finland, you have to get over it. You know, you're the one who stands to benefit from Climate, Change is Gonna Be Like A Tropical Paradise and I feel more shark. Sightings bring them up. See, this is the problem. You hate everything, like, basically, you hate everything. True. I don't live too Damien. Sorry you Only like Ari, because she's not here right now. I'm the last two weeks. I've really liked her. It's, it's 100% Finland because they passed a law. They didn't, like, not passed the law, proposed a law. They passed the law. They actually set a Target. That's like 15 years before every corporate, tell me, someone stop and explain to me how a company cannot figure out how to turn itself around by 2050, when the entire board is dead. The executives have turned over at least four times but Finland a country can pass a law sending it to change its course within the next 13 years and then go negative after that, I can't figure out. What do you doing, corporations? What do you doing there? The other one options here, were what plans for renewable plants that will change? As soon as there's a different Governor or Administration place a billionaire loses money? Why do I give a fuk if a billionaire? Lost some money because he actually regulates something that it was already regulated. Congratulations and HSBC giving well paid people another perk. I don't know, we're not even talking about the first two, we're not. I'm just I think they just can't wait. I want Mike, I like the NBA one. I just I like the NBA one. Okay. All right. That's the winner of Finland sets world's most ambitious, climate Target in law. Good least the week. Moving on. Oh, speaking of Matt ranting, it's time for it's time for as holy as of the week. I'm gonna I'm gonna put my mouse down and just enjoy the show. Yeah I got I got a few here and then alternate at the end too. All right, here's the first potential asshole a week. It's your stupid fucking sustainable woke, ESG, green, terminology Damian, and I have been having this discussion about Damien keeps asking, what is woke even mean? Because there's this war on woke capitalism from the right, right? And the question Damien's been asking what even is? Whoa, so it made me, think, why don't we stop for second? And I don't want you to actually do this now, but go ahead and think, in your head. Define the following. Whoa, green, sustainable, ESG, ESG. I can do, I can, do you stay colder capitalism like good to find them in your head. Just think about them and admit that you just hesitated on half or all of them or it was going to take you 40 minutes and 3000 words to describe each one of them. That is why we Get the following headlines. Number one, Republicans can stop ESG political bias by Mike Pence in the Wall Street Journal. Number two, the Gem State joins in push against Federal ESG rules. That's right. Idaho has joined the fight against. Yes, they call themselves The Gem State. Um, yeah. They joined Texas and Florida and Louisiana with a whole host of rules against woke capitalism. Here is a headline that's not Progressive enough which is woke. Capitalism does not Advance. Social justice. Here is Elon Musk winging with ESG is a sham. Here is what's lost when we talk ESG and not sustainability, you know what's lost? No one knows what the fuck they're talking about because none of those terms have any definitions. They're not solutions for anything. They're not a thing. All they are are descriptions. Woke is a pejorative first. It was a pejorative way for Emma to describe Boomers, right? Like you we're not. Whoa. And then it transitions to Republicans are now using it in this country to describe everybody, Emma, and Emma's generation. It's Emma. It's a description. I still see this. I still see it as possible. Emma's got her hands. Like, I'm raising my hand. Can you call on me? Yes, Emma please. Um, I would like to clarify that. I have never ever. Seriously, used the word woke. That's important. That's me. That, that is. Okay. There we go. It's clarifies. I still think it's, I still think it's a good thing, but it's a knee-jerk reaction to you. Explain to the woke. It's nobody educator not talking about this at length. We don't have the time we look Damien, we've been youths playing about how we don't understand the systemic biases and everything, like progress and that's fine. We're both right and wrong green. Is the product Market. I don't get green sustainable, is anything that really don't? That's the one that gets me the most. I don't understand that term at all, if you and that will sustainable, is equally as bad. And some ways because sustainable by definition is anything that continues in perpetuity, which is to say, nothing not, nothing sustainable. Like, I don't know what this 8 billion people on this planet. We'd all have to die in order for everything else to continue in perpetuity ESG. We've talked about it badly, organized, David. I understand what he means. At least my point is, they're not describing anything real, that's why you're stupid terminology is an asshole of the week. Okay? I feel like, that's always. Okay. Moving number two, Jamie dimon making a asshole of the week. I want to hear about this because, Yeah I want to hear your perspective because there are parts of what he says that I think are true. Yeah, it's not about truth. Jamie Diamond Jamie Diamond. Put it put set himself up as the new Godfather of stakeholder capitalism when when he was the head of the Business Roundtable, they released the purpose of the corporation was to serve stakeholders. The statement that said 2019 2019. But here's the problem with it, actually nothing in the purpose is different from what he's saying now. But he knew that all the stuff about stakeholders matter. We would take as the planet matters and all the employees matter and we care about these things and now we're going to actually generate returns for those things. He knew that, that's how it would be taken, he didn't write it down thinking. Oh you know, no one's gonna like everyone's gonna look at this and say, like this is actually the purpose of capitalism know, they rewrote the purpose of the corporation to be about stakeholders not shareholders and they knew the implications of that because what it was was effectively marketing, right? Like it was effectively a way to say, look, look how interested we are in you, we should continue wearing a partnership. It's just like when Starbucks calls their employees partners and then hands out Holocaust blankets to them. It's the same thing. We're just using a word to make you think that we're all in this together but really the people who are in it are the corporations to make profit and now we know exactly what he meant because he goes as soon as their shit hitting the stakeholder capitalist fan. He goes to the the Sanford Bernstein conference and says, the following quote. I'm a red-blooded free market capitalist, not a lie, quote any Senator or congressman? Who says that? That's woke. They're not thinking clearly because I want to win in the marketplace. Also not a lie, like a winner but but not exactly what you imply with your letter quote. All we're saying is when we wake up in the morning oh wait get it. What? We give a shit about is serving customers earning their respect, earning their repeat business. Okay, if you wrote Jamie, the purpose of a corporation is to make tremendous amounts of money. And we do that only if we Grease the wheels of our stakeholders, that's straight talk. Instead we get three years of letters from you. And Larry thinks saying, now we're not woke, we're not woke because there's backlash if everyone's confused it's because you confused them asshole. That's why I'm really confused. Yeah, I gotta say I'm I I don't want to spend too much time on this but I am actually rather confused by. First of all, I, I know this is not gonna upset you, but I said this before, I actually I prefer Jamie Diamond to the Larry Fink in this situation because Larry he just speaks in like platitudes and corporate marketing. Buzzword Jamie seems like Jamie's related to a man named Joey Romeo. So he's a real, he's a real person. I appreciate his version of this but I just don't really know. Really what he's talking about. See I perceived Jamie is someone who who realizes that if we don't start to take care of our constituents more and actually pay attention to the different elements of a stakeholder capitalism model that they're all gonna come for us and our all of our wealth and power will be gone. That's how I see. This is that he's he's sort of hedging his bets properly. But you see something different. I don't I see as as look I don't see it as he's not saying what he thinks I see it as what he thinks the undertones of it. And his understanding of how we're going to take what he thinks is like he's in it for stakeholders. And I don't think that's real. He's in it for money. Okay. You don't believe. Okay. You don't believe it. Oh God, I think purposefully say a thing. Such that and they it's it's carefully crafted in this way that they never betray the fact that they're in it for money. If you were to say what he thinks, he would just say we're in it to make money. There's no other stakeholders only exists and we have to care about them so that we can make money. It's intent, that matters, not straight shooting or, or are carefully, crafted marketing letters and we have these defied CEOs, Like, Larry Fink. And Jamie dimon who we look to to give us some insight into how capitalism shut up, you're there to make money and that's fine. But I'm not interested in hearing about your hot takes on Wilkes, stakeholder capitalism anymore, mostly do so. Does this help? There's don't you dare ask another question, do you see the paragraph he has coming up? You know what I want? One more thing. This is help. Jamie dimon said to see NBC a few years ago My heart is democratic but my brain is kind of Republican. Does that? Help God, I just punch me in the groin right now. All right. Number three. Stefan Hoops. Ooh, I like this plays for the Warriors so I'm last. I had a good first quarter but then he kind of crapped the bed. If you know the DWS scandals Stefan Hoops is the income of CEO who. Yeah, that's right. DWS the greenwashing Scandal, where people raided the DWS offices because of green washing 50 prosecutors Stefan. Who's incoming CEO? Here is the letter parts of the letter that he wrote to his staff on his incoming and I am going to play the part of a DWS long. Okay. Okay do it. Dear colleague, I can imagine that this was a tough day for many of you. Yeah, a federal prosecutor in a salmon button down. Just took my laptop and searched my emails for every time I said, what the fuck is ESG? Is anyone know so yeah. Tough day for me. He goes on to say Ahsoka, who is the leaving? CEO is an inspirational leader and what is achieved during his tenure at the helm of DWS is truly remarkable to, which I would say at that moment. Wait, what? I don't care about a Soca. I need a new laptop. You asshole. They just took my lap top. Remarkable that with? I will say it is remarkable that in a short term of three years, it could result in 50 police raiding. That is remarkable. That's a lot. The police raiding your rating. Yeah. It goes on to say at the same time he is human Ahsoka is human like all of us and as his colleague, it was troubling to see what he had to go through over the last few months, to which I'm thinking by what he had to go through. You mean the greenwashing Scandal? He got fired for because he did it right, like that's yeah, that's what he had to go through. That were sad about I I don't you know it's a few months I've been like depressed since the pandemic started. What's the letter goes on now? The ad hoc announcement went out at 3:57 a.m. this morning and guess who was the first person to congratulate me at 3:59. I'm playing Ahsoka ambulance driver. I don't know who it was not. It was, it was a soak up. Apparently, after everything that happened yesterday, in early this morning is only thought was to ensure that DWS would continue on the great track. He put us on First of all, am I supposed to be impressed that you're up at 4 a.m. doing your chin UPS or something? Like why? Why do we care about what time it was. Second is that track he put us on going to jail or was it? Is it the track where you have to cut my pay because of losses due to a green washing Scandal and you lied to investor? What, what's track am I supposed to be impressed with? He goes on to say lots of other things. I'll end with this. Let's continue. The DWS success story together. Let's make a soak up proud. Ahsoka should be proud of what the greenwashing part, why we make a Soca proud. So, because my dad. Now, what the hell? Are you talking about sign? Stephan? Zero mention throughout the entire letter. Of. Greenwashing Scandal issues that they need to dig out with. He doesn't say in there anywhere like we have some cultural things that we need to address. It was basically a celebration of a guy who led them through greenwashing Scandal and got shit canned for it that's what we're doing. So Stephanie congratulations. You're one of my ass. Yeah, the dudes up but he's up at 3:57 a.m. this is a dude who's just excited for the power. He's excited to get promoted, he doesn't care about. He's a Dolph Lundgren and actually looks exactly like dolphin. The alternate here was Mark Zuckerberg and but I think he could be an all-time every week because that's true because he's Consolidated power. So, let's go with these three. We'll go with your stupid fucking sustainable Wok. ESG green, terminology Stefan hoops, and Jamie dimon. I feel like I'm gonna go first. This one, I feel like we talked about this yesterday, green terminology too much for me to vote on every week. I'm gonna pass on that one. Jamie dimon. I have conflicted feelings about him, he likes, because I said, I said a while back to, I realized that the whole thing, the Business Roundtable, you know, was part marketing part, like a Deke, I don't know. It's like this. There's a there's chicanery involved. There's there's a lot of mirrors, but hey, he introduced the conversation and as a conversation, I want to have. So I gave him credit for that. He didn't have, they didn't have to do it but the one I want to focus on is Stephon Hoops because Ah, that is a that is a brilliantly Cheesy horrible stupid way to take power. Like the office got raided by 50 police, which is probably pretty frightening to people working there. And you're, and you're honest. Like, yeah, yeah, you exactly. You're just like, pumped up. You're like, hands and fronds cheerleader from hell, like just about everything lfg. Like, it's just it's stupid. You're step on get a grip. Really. Seriously like this is the time where you're supposed to be a little concerned. I like when Damien gets amped up, I actually I want that little concerned and I think it's okay to call out a guy who with a three-year 10 year led to a police raid. I think it's okay to call him out as being like that was kind of terrible. I mean I skipped huge parks to the letter and what she was like the love. He brought is the same love that I bring and I'm glad you didn't say and, you know, he said he transformed DWS, they were just Transformed. DWS into criminals, yeah. Yeah, and these are people like the people in this office are people who need these jobs and are crapping, their meta diapers. Because, you know, that they're thinking, this might mean that I'm losing my job. And how am I gonna pay for my electric vehicle that HSBC? UK just give me a big lease for well. It does suggest a DWS isn't about to get humble about their, like, their issues. So what's your vote Emma? Um, I'm also going first Stefan, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think that this yeah I'll be interested to see what happens when you get to irritating is but yeah I think I mentioned earlier this week I looked into Stefan a little bit and he didn't interview in 2019. And the headline of said interview was the most aggressive 39 year old, right forgot. So that way from the punch. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I think Damien, you hit, you said exactly what I was gonna say. Which was the fact that this, by the way, I think, I don't know. Tell me if you disagree with me here, but he is either 41 or 42. And he's now the CEO of a major company owned by Deutsche Bank, right? It doesn't like none of it. He's young. He got named aggressive and only article I could find about him online. He's taking over a company with major issues that they clearly are not willing to acknowledge like none know, you're buying your highly biased by the fact that you saw his picture and he looks like someone who wants to punch you with his capitalism. Like he really does look like he does Prague, yeah, 4041, but like, he looks like a 26 year old like guy who always goes to the Frat functions at his like college. Yeah. You know, he looks like in the 90s those functions he, uh, yeah. They have alumni functions on in the 90s. He looks like the yeah, the the like kind of prep guy who made it into the Soundgarden concert, went to the front and was way too violent in the middle of the mosh pit like he was like, yeah, absolutely. He was the one throwing actual punches when everybody else is like mashing. He's the guy like punching someone and being like yeah, that's why we're here. Yeah, if you ask him an artist is purely who he saw and you're like, okay Stefan, you know, if you guys are making fun of Greg Larkin, is that what you're doing? No, Greg Larkin is the opposite of that. All gonna say is this Finland chose women to help them move forward. DWS is choosing an aggressive man to help him out of out of a sticky situation. It's a choice. It's a choice. All right. I'm alerting, come on. All right. Welcome to irritating is the best segment of this show. I'm so happy you're here. So aggressive All right. Story number one. Elon Musk says that Tesla's, I know, I almost, I if it wasn't for this headline, I said out loud today that I wasn't gonna include him, but then I came across me today and was like, it's not even a headline about him about the 40-hour work week thing either know, and it's not either. So, here's headline. Elon Musk says that Tesla's, AI day has been pushed back to September. Oh, another thing I need to say about this, yeah, AI day. Did anyone else know that they have an AI day? The other Elon Musk news this week as they, as Matt mentioned is news about him, requiring employees to come back to the office and like if you're not willing to work a 40-hour work week, quit, whatever, and all sorts of other annoying stuff. But I think this is the Dark Horse of Elon Musk headlines this week because okay. So the slight details are AI day is now on September 30th. It was originally supposed to be on August 19th and the point of AI day is to convince Tech talent to work for Tesla. So it's just a Recruiting event disguised as a holiday, what holiday? And it's I don't I could not possibly tell you but I'm also pretty sure based on a tweet that from today or yesterday. I'm pretty sure that he's moving it back specifically. So that, Optimus, their human-sized robot prototype will be working for the event so that Elon can have a toy to brag about when he goes to show and tell. Also optimists is the name of the robot and it is far too ominous. A name for robot, who's sole purpose is to like go grocery shopping and do errands. That is the point of grocery shopping. Yeah that is what optimism, yes, you you're saying that AI date is in a day, where they showcase how often their AI crashes into stuff when it drives their cars? No, absolutely, no. It's about the grocery store you. You're missing one part of the story. I'm here is that there's also a report that AI is laughing at this because every day is a day when your AI, that's true. All right, AI day. I find to be supremely annoying. Number two. Well, can I add to that? You briefly mentioned this thing about the worker. So here's another annoying thing about Kimball musk's brother, is that a couple of days ago, he threatened all the Tesla workers like if you don't come back in the office, you're fired right. Yep. But then, today we're learning. Okay, there's actually late, they're laying off, 10% of the company, that's what's really happening. But since he is a forever child, he had to place some game with it first before actually, before telling you or telling you that, okay, we're all so firing 10% of the entire come. That's what's really happening. He's trying to get the I I'm waiting for somebody to actually do some pattern wrecking Nation. Where is the AI that actually can figure this out? Because AI is useless for doing nothing until September 30th. I goes out and talks about ESG is to scam. They knew that their ESG rating was going to drop for Tesla. They knew it. So he Prime the market, Saying it's a scam. He primed the market saying watch here come the political attacks on me and that was right before a story drops about, he sexually harassed a woman on an airplane. What Elon Musk is great, at is controlling information flow, such that he says a thing to 90 million people before the news breaks about it, and he sets you up to discredit that thing. So he goes out and he says, you have to work a 40-hour work week and then two days later magically they announced that they're laying off. Oh, you know, a whole bunch of workers. All of these things are very, very like they're set pieces, right? That's his horse skill. It actually isn't building the robot Optimist because they have to push it back to actually build the damage. They're constantly pushing everything's pushed back. A Tesla fucking annual meeting. Yeah. That's right. You guys are getting real wild up. I like it. Okay, it's your day number two. Well, it's easy. That's why that's why I stopped it because it's easy. When you I mean if you put Elon Musk on your list every week come on that's not that's not the Emma. We know shooting you AI Day. Come on. I day, that's pretty fine for him. All right, number two. Half of the coaches in the NBA are black. What? Have a good excuse anymore. Yeah. Welcome to the portion of my segments where I'm stealing back. The headlines that you stole from. Oh you're using the are using the second half of the headline to be irritated about. Correct. I got this is good. I like this. yeah, because so you should be Pretty self-explanatory. Damien got it very quickly. Good job. Damien very smart, fuck the Rooney. Wow, yeah, fuck the NFL, fuck you. Roger Goodell. Like, that's all it's terrible about, it's so that they're terrible. I don't Injustice does not irritate me so much as infuriate me. So I I'm I might just qualify it on that counted, which is fair. But I think that the irritating part about it is that we have such a good comparison with the NBA and they're pretending like that doesn't exist and I'm like, come on, you're just pretending to not see but like well actually what this should be is a cautionary tale that socialism does not solve your problems, right? Because both are socialists and one league is figured it out and the other one is still Consolidated power in the hands of a Roger, Goodell and a bunch of white billionaires. Oh yeah, it's excellent. Yeah. So on a personal note, I also I'm feeling pretty good about my decision to quit football a couple years back. And are you quit? Because now I'm really love the Patriots. You know, I quit, I quit. Emma was living next door, we both had quit around the same time because the concussion thing Yeah, it was the concussion. It was you guys both got a concussion and you quit. Yeah, well, I got my concussion. I was like, I can't watch football. It's hard to see it. I've had exactly one concussion in my life and it was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. So know that was. Yeah. We know we see we're seeing it right now, we know. Yeah, this is me. This is the current concussion of course of years. All right, and shot out to Celtics, coach email Joka, who I love very, he's not white, he was not. Who is the first direct? African descent NBA head coach. So yay, we love you. What? You just said, half of the NFL, just sold her teams just there. Well and speaking, just a little bit of yesterday like 12 hours ago, news, Phil Knight, the CEO, and founder of Nike. Just put in a bid for the Trailblazers, the basketball team. Yeah, yeah, it's just like the team is not for sale. Like the team is just not for sale. He just put it in offer. Know there's a there's a backstory that he there's a lot of threads them. Well no there's a lot of threats that they're gonna take them out of Portland and he's from Portland. He wants to keep him Portland so he said you know do your do your research Emma? Come on Wow. Wow heard you saw the interviewer research don't all right and finally yeah number three, a bank. This is the headline. A bank is letting three I'm sorry. 35,000 staff lease Tesla's and hundreds of other electric cars as its like sounds familiar. Yeah, a bank is HSBC all Bank recently. Sponsored a moral money Conference during their head of during which their head over sponsible. Investing told investors not to worry about climate change. I didn't care if Miami was underwater in third, okay, but this is whatever. This is a big fat apology tour. Cleanup Duty move. Oh interesting. Here, we love your first two stories were shit. This one you were doing yourself. Yeah. You nailed it. Come on apology. You want to show you on the show right here? He won the show right here. How did you know Damien how did you know you I'm stupid. I'm just literally dunked on your face with it's just an apology tour. Matt, you know how people my brain is like I am. I am just so excited that there's like a Steph Curry playing basketball. This Stefan Hoops, taking over a DWS. Like I'm like fixated on that cotton candy and you double it with their, their leasing Tesla's, like not just test Tesla's, right? Is that true? No, it's says, it's hundreds of others. Like he's a lot of Tesla. So Tesla doubly annoying for putting money in Elon musk's pocket in like with their green wash and you know, apology tour cover up. Wow, I told you I told you. Wow. Yeah. And I just say AOC, I know you're listening, you're a big fan of her show Alexandria because he'll Thank you for listening. I I'm a big fan of AOC. Get ready to Tesla. You're embarrassing me. Yeah you don't want to embarrass me because come on. Get some don't embarrass I say. Yeah can we add her and ask her direct? You have to eliminate the NFL one because it's infuriating not irritating. Okay. AI day is more. It makes me it's more like shortly then it is like irritating me, right? Like everything, you know, that's why it's in my head like it's actually a listener, the show. So they chortled at our Cheryl sandwiches good. Is that a good thing? A turtle. It's like when you swallow a laugh because you you're in a place where you like openly. So you kind of like it's kind of that's more. Like, I can't believe those idiots were clever enough to make me laugh. Well there's that sort of that's kind of like AI, okay? It's silly. But AI day like you really I'm more with that headline. Irritated at Emma for putting Headline with Tesla. Like it's just a Tesla headline, two irritate us because of the Tesla thing but the headline itself is not irritating. The one that is is 100%. The apology tour angle on HSBC? Yes 100. Yeah that's pretty brilliant. I'm Gonna be real nothing. Irritates me like these days nothing. Irritates me, like Elon Musk. I mean, if I'm just gonna be open and honest like triggers me everything goes triggers, me and not even like, It's not even a feigned trigger. It's a real. I actually I do literally feel irritated by Emma story and by the other, one about the layoffs, and everything else. So that said that elon's biggest skill was like couching, his bad behavior before it happens and discrediting it before. People even know what went on, but I think that elon's biggest town is pushing people's buttons because I pushing Damien's buttons. I don't care about pushing Damian's buttons. So really I should go for that one. I kind of agree with Matt, about the NBA Store, the NBA Store, really is not has nothing to do with this week. I think that the reason why they're talking about it is because the playoffs are happening and finals and there are any hires going on that tip, this data. So I'm gonna pass on that one. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna vote for the HSBC one, just because I love your angle. On I, I just completely missed this. I mean, of course like they're already and we covered this extensively during our March sadness tour. The amount of green washing that companies. Press release is staggering, but I think you're absolutely right. This is like right on the heels of one of the more embarrassing moments in this field. I mean embarrassing. I had a responsible Investing was shiting on responsible investing at a major, which means that you understand what the culture must be like their, if the head of responsible investing, felt comfortable, enough to give a talk at a moral money conference about how climate change doesn't matter, and that people shouldn't worry about it. Yeah. What must go on internally? Well, you know, all of these is so clearly fake and I could just be his maleness, the midnight. Yeah. But I mean obviously. Um, but but like, the the fact that do you would do, we think that HSBC would have, like released information about allowing staff, to lease, electric cars, like were they not allowing them before to lease electric cars? I'm pretty sure that staff usually can lease cars through work. If you're at a certain level and it wasn't my guess is, electric cars weren't off that table. In fact, my guess is a lot of people were Already doing this but suddenly now, it's like released information coincidentally the week after, that's a part of it, it's really fantastic. That's what I'm saying. That's the part because I do like the plan and I know in the UK there's an extra tax break for workers if they leads it. Yeah, so yeah. So you know again the planet itself is fine but the press release, it's brilliant, it's funny. Yeah. And I and I and if you're listening sustainalytics, where write this in the HSBC profile, please like, this is so awesome lyrics. Come on, for all the companies we talk about, you should be revisiting your profiles and adding a little bit of color. Look, the fact is that like, and we can say this, we were analysts at msci, right? Like half the time, the best they've ever seen have to. Yeah. That's why we're still there. Half the time, you can't. String like four stories like this together, that were what paying attention in the news. So much in such succession is the only thing that allows Emma to brilliantly, pull out the back-to-back years. Praise like, you know, I'm just saying, honestly, I got kind of Lucky when I encountered this story for the first time, because this specific headline is what I saw. And when I saw that, it was all a bank. I was like, a bank. Why are they not telling me what bank? Well, thank you. It was. I was like, yeah. Oh yeah, maybe, yeah, I didn't, I didn't think of that thing. I thought they didn't tell you why, because no one knows what HSBC really is. No, I thought it felt pretty intentional. Of course, this is just me guessing, but I'm going to close on this for all you people out there, who chortle at us is that this, this is the missing link of all the ESG data. That you work hard at collecting, which is fine. But don't forget, the, the events at your, at these companies that the actual things they do day-to-day. This is why ostensibly we left the mothership to start our own company because because they, they couldn't, you know, the marketing and the legal that they wouldn't let us talk at this rate. I mean, we do a new show every day every day and we can keep it under 30 minutes but but no shot. I know we try to make fun of everything and we do things like hearted matter. But all these things that we point out are the actual things that these companies are up to. And and there should be a way of quantifying this. There's really not really a way yet although we're working on it. Yeah. But these are stories. You should be paying attention to us too. You have to pay like like Emma, did you know that HSBC? Actually Stands for Hong Kong and Shanghai banking corporation, right? Like that. And like we all think of HSBC is like, you know, English TV and whatever like this. Oh no I think as a I think of it as Mexican drug cartel. Actually I think of it as a like I don't know why but I associate with barings bank and the Nick Leeson there's like yeah I like mine better anyway. I Emma may have just won the week again with that. Can we do? Yes. Wrap up the show. Yeah. Who won the week? Are you going with Emma know, I wrote something here but before I knew Emma was gonna like make you look like an idiot because this is really what you always like that. Yeah. It's really Oh, your other answer. My other answer was Mark Zuckerberg because the parents are out of the house and like now we can order a keg and No One's Gonna sell. Like I thought like this is this week. We lost Peter Thiel and Sheryl Sandberg. Like, literally this week, the parents are out of the house and Mark Zuckerberg is left to own the metaverse by himself. So I don't know to me like he was gonna win the week, but now I'm really on the fence, I'm really on the fence and yeah when he said that we lost Peter teal and Sheryl Sandberg. I had this mental image of them in like metaverse heaven. You know, like their souls got sucked out of their body? Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know longer with us, they're in bed but I think Emma was the one who said, we're gonna like, reconstruct our dead loved ones in the metaverse so that we can talk to them. Right. That's basically stolen from a TV show this. Yeah, but you get credit. Yes, I'll take it. All right, my original winner of the week was actually the data Queen Ari for not being here because who would want to be here during this. But I do will defer to Emma Emma already missed our like our one of our best shows ever. I would say so totally where he thinks that I'm a very quickly made terrible. Do you have a winner? Emma, I do. This one is a little bit out of pocket but I'm gonna go with on the slide Egon Durban. Zombie, I good. I think I got rid of a dog you have on your lap. Okay. Yeah, good talk about shush, don't slander Chico you on Durban. Zombie directions, on Durban. I think he on the slide one this week. He got voted out by shareholders and they said, no, we're gonna keep you. And he said, okay, that is well, you know, think about actually one of the a second case for you on Durbin would be. Not only did he say. Okay, I'll stick around but no one cared because we had Johnny Depp Amber Heard come to a close shower announces that she's leaving Peter Teal's out all. So, like so many other things happened simultaneously that literally no one's talking about the fact that he's just sticking around. Like that's a good way to win the week again and winning. Did I win her again by my winner of the week and the Amber Heard Johnny Depp thing. Doesn't really apply to the show but what but it does, it does. Overlap with the anti-woke world that we're living in now, because it sort of a sad, I'm not gonna say ending, but a sad Interruption of the positive effect of the me too Movement. We already talked. I don't know how sexual assault. I cannot talk about, I don't know how, I don't know how Johnny got favored here, but I don't want to talk about that. How about Elon Elon has this fake democracy thing on Tesla constantly where he's asking people to vote on things and he thinks that that's the the word is that when the majority says they want to edit button and the majority says, they want him to take over the company. He thinks this is so meaningful and yet a majority of shareholders voted out Egon Durban and and they're doing nothing that right there is the hypocrisy of this. Well I wish back. Sorry I fully believe the sentence I'm about to say to be true. Go Elon musk's Twitter polls have more real life consequences then a corporate proxy. Yeah they do yeah because Elon Musk absolutely what but look. Well, this gets to my point. Do you think Elon Musk has ever put out a Twitter poll when he doesn't know how everyone is following him? Is going to vote already, right? I think he phrases them and makes like he it's like you set up the question so that you know what the outcome is going to be so that you can justify doing a thing later on. Like does anybody think like the majority of Twitter users we're going to vote no to an edit button know. And they now he's gonna look like a genius when he says, look I just did what you asked me to do. Like, come on, fuck face. You knew what the answer was gonna be before you put it up, they were already working on that inside a Twitter. In fact, you know, they were working on it because you actually talked to the people at Twitter and found out. They were working at it. So it's very, very disingenuous to say like those polls. Actually have any actual influence. It's just musk doing the same thing. He always does. We should be outraged to however that all your dumb votes are advisory and corporate governance. Like Make them not advisory come out here before we move on how many look at. All right, fuk faces. Let's wrap this up. Okay, predictions quickly, I'm going for a very boring prediction. I think that Bobby kotick is gonna be done from Activision Blizzard before the July 4th holiday, as my prediction interest. Oh, he's gonna stick around your predictions, my predictions. Yeah, I'm just gonna tell you, you're predictions wrong. I'm just gonna tell you right now. You're prediction is wrong. That's all anyone else that predictions? Yeah, I got one Emma. Do you want? Do you want first? No, you go. All right, I predict that after the rape and the metaverse. I predict that someone will be murdered in the metaverse before the year is out. Wait, no, Matt. I don't mean shot at next week. Yeah, no. No. We have, we should actually bring this back up next week because I don't like, we have time. And I want to look do some research. I think this is already happened. Actually, I just read a story within this past week about this very topic, really? That's, um, yeah, that's, that's amazing. Because then my prediction already came true. I think, Though that there will be there will be an actual murder in the metaverse. I think the metaverse is literally a hellscape and I think there will be a murder before the year is out and that will be maybe the thing that's gets Regulators interested in what's going on there. Well, didn't didn't someone also asked the UN recently that they should be policing this type of event in the metaverse anyway? Don't forget, you when the un's what Six years to debate it before we come up with a like one action. Now you're crapping on egg, heads and academic. I don't like it. They're not academics or politicians. It's the um all right, to wrap this up. My prediction is that I think that Elon musk's Twitter account is gonna get hacked within the next six months. Probably has been, he probably. Has to what effect. Like I think in a like he can't access it for at least a couple of days and like some interesting stuff comes out of it. That's, that's my guess. I think it's begging to happen. All right. You should have quit. Yeah. Yeah. Just that I had no predictions for the week. He's just been done. Okay, with it. I won on the hole on the winner, right? No one dropped them like that was Emma. Lurking. Winning the entire week. I am. Matt, Mascari. Now is Damien Wallace. We are free float media. This was our weekly Roundup. If you like things that are smart and or interesting and or useful elsewhere, we have the analytics, we have the thoughts, we are covering everything, but you, if you like those things, you probably should go elsewhere. Otherwise come back here on Monday and we'll see you then goodbye.