Business Pants – 2022-07-01

Live. From room 701. At the Borgata Hotel, Casino and Spa in bucolic Atlantic City. New Jersey. It's the first 100% attendance version of business pants Friday show since anyone want to guess was the last time we were all together in the same one e13 May sometime in late, May yeah Ari. Yeah that's it. April 22nd, that was the last time. The four of us together. This is business. Pens Friday, featuring the goodlow data Queen. The irritating is mlr King in the ass holiest. Whopper with cheese, Matt mascardi. Whoo. I'm just a placeholder. Let's do this. Sorry, I know. Are you want to get back to business? So let's start with Ari. Forget the story of the week, why don't we start with the good list of the week because it was a crap or will we ruin the rest of the show by having it because then it just like a downhill slide? I don't know if I there's a little bit like in middle school when you know the you go in a certain order and then the teacher reverses it, I know, right? And now your first because I was always towards the end with my last name with the R. So when they would reverse it, it's called The Snake draft, get over at people, still in the middle. So this is really matter. All right, you really I don't know. What do you think I'm gonna leave up to you, Emma. who goes first, um, All right, I don't know why you asked. Yeah. That was a terrible idea. What are you this one? Let's do it. Perk us up goodly to the week. The data Queen. Whoo. Here we go. The first someone uplifting news from the metaverse. Someone was uplifting news from The Vessel already. We're behind me. We're already behind the eight ball. You said metaverse and somewhat. Someone well because it's the metaverse. I feel like somewhat is the highest you can go. Chobani is entering the metaverse. Oh it's yogurt already yogurt. There are launching that Chobani oat milk, cosmic rays. Oh, this is not uplifting. Okay, let's get to raise to a virtual Galaxy in Chobani oat milk, spaceships delivering oat milk to different planets and there are rewards for winning the races. There's a leaderboard and you can win inexperienced stuff. Like custom merchandise. You're pressing me. I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna feel better about doing this. Well listen, there's that there is a little kicker. The leaderboard also serves as the charity board, and once a certain Target is hit Chobani, will donate 75,000 dollars to hunger free America. Can't just give them the money gotta have, they already give a lot of money, you know, that I know that we all know that your customers in the metaverse first. They hope that this Whimsical is the word they used. Virtual game. Can attract new fans to the brand in a playful way? Okay, metaverse did Giovanni call you up, you have to navigate the lit of racism and misogyny to get to the oatmeal contest in order for them to give 75,000 dollars to hunger for America. When they could just eating yogurt today, already give out a lot of money and All right, moving on. Too late IPO is delayed till the end of the year and next year, FYI to our listeners who care about business news now, Number two, modern Church. You have Smart TVs. Smart fridges smart, toothbrushes. Now there will be smart Parks. Okay? Okay, like this. I'm gonna give this a positive Point going. Yeah, good, going. The company's called smart Park and they are focused on finding technological solutions. To conservation problems, they argue that tech companies like Google and Microsoft. They have conservation arms but because it's not their Core Business that technology is not. The highest it can be right, okay? So smart part has built their own technology. It's called Laura stands for long range and its networking technology that uses radio waves like 4G and Wi-Fi networks. But the big difference is that 4G and Wi-Fi networks were built to send lots of data, over short justices and it uses a lot of power. Conservation needs require sending tiny amounts of data over very long ways and Laura can do that using a lot less. They did it. All right, the story because you so little power. They've been. Able to develop tracking devices. To help. Protect critically. Endangered animals like Black Rhinos. Oh, you're going off the rails here? Black Friday. Yeah, what I don't have anything like rhinos. Always have. Well, they're almost all gone Damien. So maybe one day, okay, keep going. Um, they teamed up with, you know, Park management agencies and knowing where the animals are and you give a moment will really help them. Focus their boots on the ground to prevent things like poaching. So it's smart Park. They can they can gather other info, like temperature data, or water levels, and all the watering holes, and they can turn on pumps remotely. So nobody has to walk or not, even walk Drive several hours into a park because I'm parks are gig enormous. I like this and they can just yeah this is super cool. Are the Supreme Court just called and they're gonna deregulate rules against poaching Black Rhinos. So yeah. Anyway, it's coming to Botswana near you so. Okay, it's a little bit there, it's very better than the first story, so we're going up. Oh, I'm excited about this third one, it revolves, number billionaire, saving all our drone like this already. Okay, Emma likes this last year, Mark Cuban, founded Mark, Cuban's Cost Plus Drug Company, really seriously Health. It's cold work, Cuban's Cost Plus Drug Company. Yep. And the purpose. I think for you, and just got that up with the new one though. Like putting your own, we don't see that very often Billionaire's putting their own name? I honestly think this is just a huge like f everything. I'm creating this company and I'm gonna get this mother FM price down because this is bananas type of frustration. I'm a billionaire which I fully endorsed anyway. There's this drug pricing for me that I found. Kind of amusing. Sure the drug prices are it is the cost of ingredients plus manufacturing 89 cents plus a three-dollar pharmacy, dispensing fee plus five dollar shipping because you know, a billionaire can't give you Plus of 15% margin. All of this added up, it is often half and sometimes a quarter of the cost of brand name company drugs. Okay. Diabetes medicines for medicine. For example, it went from 7440 to 660 for 30 pills, diabetes medicine that he's selling from his company. Correct, generic diabetes medicine. Can I buy researchers? This is hard. You have a question for it. Yeah. It's really hard like this. now, researchers from Harvard Med school and bring them in, Women's Hospital, found that Out of 89, generic drugs. If 77 drugs were provided by Mark Cuban's company, 77 drugs that Medicare subsidised ball, whatever 307% of medicare's drug budget would have been cut 37%. It was saved, 9.6 billion dollars. Can I have that money materiality argument? Like that was how we make or save money before we care about poor people? Isn't that insane 9.6 billion dollars. If you just buy your drugs, even I'm a little also. Yeah, I don't know how like if Mark even can just like get up and do this thing. The United States government can just get up and build this effing thing and that's the on the five dollar shipping in the 15% markup anyway. Well, we know 37% would have been a lot more but this is awesome. How can I like this? Well I I do like it. I mean we here's the thing is that? I mean when you go into any pharmacy you already do see generic drugs, they're considerable discounts. So is it is it beneath that discount or just it's more dry at scale for Medicare and Medicaid. Right? And the second thing is that we know it's possible because anyone who's been to any other country than the US knows that you can get a huge bag of wonderful drugs at a drugstore for, like four dollars. So, and the third thing is, we know our government is not in the mood to help anyone anymore, so that's good. It's just like effing themselves. I've been saying, I've been a lot. I've been to sell. I like censoring yourself as if there's like someone listening to the podcast that cared. Yeah. Okay. So we've got just around. Yeah, metaverse Shabani, metaverse yogurt oat milk spaceship, cultured delivering Oh Black Rhinos in a in a Botswana Park. Instead of feeding people who probably are hungry and Mark Cuban, reducing drug costs from Medicare, by almost 40%. I mean, I'll just make, I'll just go quickly to make this easy, to open up to Emma. And Matt, by default, I got to go with cheap drugs. Yeah, cheap drugs all day long. I don't know that we need to trust Mark Cuban, but I'll just go there, she drugs. I really like, I like, I want to not like, Mark Cuban and I'm sure there's a lot of things I don't like about them, but I do feel like He's a, the adults in the billionaire diaper, baby room have to time, which is sometimes, it does feel that way. I mean, it's, I mean, it's a little bar, but he feels like it. He's a vegan. Which you hate right man. I don't care. How do you know that what shirt? Oh. Worst. I hate to agree but I think I am going for cheap drugs as well. Giovanni. Yeah, that's right. That was sad. And not. Can I just tell you how really sad it is? I actually, I maybe you just don't check the slack anymore. Sorry, I saw that five minutes before I sent you a story for hamburger today. Beer made from recycled toilet water. I mean, how do you pass up that? Yeah, that one's easy to pass up the metaverse. Really sent you a headline about a man who's the mother of 60 baby. Kangaroos that wasn't better than the Chobani in the metaverse. Wait, what? That's not all of these things are terrible. I think, Mark, Cuban was gonna win, no matter what the Texas legislator just called their outlining man. Being a father to Kangaroo, but don't get a kangaroo abortion, women. Who's out down here? Now, you have to pick who's next? I do, okay, I'm I'm swinging it back around to Damien. All right, story of the week. Come on. We'll go quickly. All right. Yeah, we're ending this week. I'm like, filibuster are the data Queen? I group mine into things that children are saying to their parents. I got four groups, these are things that kids Across America are saying to their parents. The first one is I think Mommy and Daddy are smoking weed. They say that to their parents. Yeah, or do would they say saying it to a concern smoking weed? Yeah, I think that they're saying it to each other. Maybe maybe it's a brother and sister singing to each other. They're realizing that. Oh, they're not waking up. Our parents are doing bad things. Like our parents are breaking the rules or I can't believe our parents. Our parents are doing bad stuff. Okay? Now I got the construct so I think Mommy and Daddy are smoking weed. That's number one, let's see here. The first that's the first category and the two headlines to support this Swiss Court convicts Credit Suisse of laundering drug money. Yeah. Swiss court ordered Credit Suisse to pay the equivalent of 22 million dollars for failing to prevent a Bulgarian crime ring from laundering money related, to cocaine trafficking. And Matt, this is our first story that I have tagged from a website called organized crime and Corruption reporting project. So I'm good for Credit. Suisse, this is amazing. Is that what's the acronym gangster Goodfellas news? It's okra which is all. So gonna be featured in the metaverse and Ari's next story, okay? And the second one is something we covered yesterday. Ernst and Young to pay 100 million dollars. Fine? Yeah, Auditors cheated on ethics exam. Yeah, baby. Oh, that's hilarious. That's still, that's still one of the stories of the week because that's uplifting actually, I don't know that should have been in good lace the week because yeah. Right. If I had put that you've been look 100 million, you know, 100 million. Yeah. I like my favorite Ari's me voice. I wish I wish the entire show in me voice Ari. It doesn't know us at all that she thinks that featuring a story about a yogurt company that metaverse is supposed to make. You know, it wasn't yogurt. It was oatmeal. It was even worse. Whatever, we're moved from yoga. Number two, I love. Here's the quote from the children. Number two, our government hates us. How will our corporate Overlord Mommy and Daddy help us. So that's just talking about, like being protected mommies and daddies. Yeah. They're like talking to a social worker. so, the big story we covered Monday, Having to do with the Fallout of the Supreme Court being horrible. People here are a bunch of headlines top, American businesses, react to the fall Rover versus Wade. Uber Nike lift, Disney, JP Morgan and others vow to help employees access abortion. Oh etc, etc. We need a vowel sound effect, maybe a loud, dinging noise. That means worthy and difficult to. I think it's a good time to point this out. We had a listener, right? Write us yesterday. Finally, I'm not going to name names because no one wants me to name names. I have no idea why, but I love you listener because I have been complaining about this stupid. Ding sound effect, that Emma plays and how many times I said, please change it. It's it's annoying. It's nauseating, it's horrible. And this list agrees and they finally Emma has changed. It blame, Emma. For something blaming Emma that I did. Because what Damien does really? Well is say I don't like that sound effects and then finds no alternative sound and then they just stay there because others of us have other jobs we do and how this headline, how about? Thank you listener. Anyway, and more people write in complain. I like right? How about this headline to wrap up this this, this this, this this one for story of the week, the fresh hell of, depending on your employer, for abortion access great headline, that we've been called, we've been saying that since the leak decision. But even before that when people were talking about having to go across state lines, we were talking about the idea that you got to call up your HR department now and tell them everything they like like you're what are you gonna call him up and be like you I got raped last night. I need Plan B. Can you please cover it? You know my travels or whatever? What a horrific you really? Because I'm really happy to speed you off that topic. Three of us have worked for a publicly traded company, right? Yeah, Ari. Yeah. Have you, did you ever go to HR and tell them anything personal about your medical history or your? I mean, have you ever did you ever do that? What HR was the thing I had to go through, in order to be able to log in remotely like and do about it. I was about it now I tried to use my HSA debit card ones to pay. Yeah. Like like a doctor bill. Okay and it got denied three times and then I went on a website to denied and it didn't give me a reason and I didn't know who to ask why this got denied. Oh, it was annoying. So that's a good HR. Did you go to HR know, I just situation. Yeah, imagine that. That's horrible. So, our HR person switched. It was like, the flavor of the week. Like, we had a new HR person, every two weeks. That's true. We did too a little bit. So, I think you didn't have that a Damien because they knew they were closing your office and sending all of our jobs away so they could keep the same person. I mean all overseas. Here we go. The third one. In this category. Here's the quote. We keep warning mommy and daddy that it's coming and to do something about it, but before it's too late but they either don't care or don't understand or too high or too busy hoarding abortion pills so they don't have another one of me to do anything about it. You know, that's very a lot. That's a lot of what they're very worried about something. And for our listener, who hates the ding sound effect. I bet you hated that one but even say anything about the sound of our cringy voices. Yeah. I including this because I feel like I'm gonna include it every week and it's kind of funny that because based on what are we just reported? But here's my story. 90 Harvard MBA, alumni held a class reunion in the metaverse. I just want to remind people every week that this is coming and there's still time to, to do something about it. Like, do we have to say that they held it in the metaverse. So, it was a glorified Zoom call. They all logged into world Warcraft and like, this is not a thing. It's not still no one thinks you're fun. I don't think so funny. Stop it. But but every one of these stories, including Harvard and MBA alums Ari, stupid yogurt, they're warning, they're giving us time. Yes, that's true, something about it. Okay, that's true. That's just a game. Okay. And finally, my last one is preparing us for oatmeal. Here's the quote. Who are the Creeps in the black robes? Mommy and daddy, the story, The the biggest non Roe versus Wade. Stories is the Supreme Court. Also weighing in, oh, limiting EPA authority to set climate standards for power plants. Although, you know, it's bad because I think it's a precursor to future decisions but really all they're really doing is they're taking away the epa's authority in their throwing it to Congress, but then we know how Congress has been acting. So it's something, the fear. I mean, not acting, it's a strange. When Matt, I don't know if you want to weigh in on this, but it's like it's it's not as bad as it appears, but I'm worried about what's coming. But I don't know why they need to take the teeth out of the EPA, throw to Congress. Well, here's what I like after Congress appoints the EPA know or is it or is that come from the executive but energy companies that are traditional fossil fuel? Energy? Companies, did not exactly see a surge in their stock prices following this ruling. So right, like Peabody Energy, which still Uses coal, it was down like so I'm not sure the market cares. I think that it's a big deal because there's not an enforcement. But if we're really honest, how much enforcement to the EPA do, right? Like there was a there was some and it kept some people in line. But it was Market forces. I think that have been driving a move away rather than than the EPA regulating it. I maintain that both this and row falling is a sign that progress has been made. And we're pissed about progress being made and this is the backlash. This is all time like that optimistic point of view and here's a even more optimistic headlines that we one day might be famous because Justice Thomas wants the Supreme Court to revisit libel protections to make it easier for public figures to sue media, organizations. So when I keep hoping, Eventually roll out, some kind of like nasty rating system against directors and CEO. Oh, yeah. And maybe maybe calling Bob Choppa CEO Disney ball, maybe we'll come back to hot sexy, right? Can't wait to pull. That. Doesn't my four stories to wrap them up? I don't like loosely. He I don't want to wrap them up. You can pick. Yeah, it's Creeps in Black robes. Its metaverse reunions. Government hates us which is basically Creeps in Black robes and old established companies doing horribly illegal things. Yeah, and companies doing terrible things The black ropes. Got me down. The whole league. Punched me twice. Yeah, I don't care. This is good news. I think that's the story. I agree with Ari, you know, Matt's been with this means progress. Clearly not good news. Matt just not good news. I'm just making lemonade. Um yeah I want my sour lemons. I will go with. Our government hates us, hell or corporate Overlord, Mommy and Daddy. Help us because I think yeah, the climate Center one is going to have the same solution. Everyone's gonna look to companies to like reduce their carbon and the market to fix the, you know, the fact that the government is now operating like it's 1722. So I, I think now we're going to look to corporations to save us. Yes, I want to think it's not the beginning of like an Akira style. Anime William Gibson novel where corporations are literally the only thing they're like corporate states? Which was a Damien that was like, your thing for years. Yeah. And Sovereign corporate. But I think this is the important thing to hold on to here is that this essentially is what the Supreme Court is doing right. There are shifting power over to this class of people, right? I mean this class or this class of institution I mean that because because and and that's that's why we're focusing on how our corporations is going to help us. Because that's, that's ostensibly what they did, right? I mean, it's struck me this morning, they're putting in the hands of Corporation to deal with. Yeah. So, are we like when we say the Pledge of Allegiance? It's gonna be, I pledge allegiance to the tablet, and Whitney. Yeah, yeah, you can say that Ari. Yeah, we say that every morning at our office. We might not be far from that reality. Yeah, I didn't hear. I'm not gonna let go of my prediction that will eventually be in like these corporate sovereign states. Somehow, when I was thinking about the EPA ruling, I was thinking actually what a huge massive data project needs to be done. Going from citizens united in dark money. Incorporations all the way to these rulings, right? I think you're right. The power shift even when they say the power went back to the states to decide Roe v Wade, right? The states are largely determined by donations from corporations, right? Like that's the the massive donations. So somebody needs to do that data project and figure out which corporations are our sovereigns. Now, Maybe maybe someone some NC. Can throw a lot of money at us and we can manage the project for them. That's called fundraising people. Take notes, all right? Anyone else want to vote on the story? Um, yeah. I'm I'm going for Creeps in Black robes. I think I'm with Ari. I mean, you're both. We're all like, Zone. You kind of all the same zones. I separated them. But yeah. Well, I think the idea here that were again, what I pointed out is that this shift of power away from government to corporations, is essentially what we're talking about here. And I and I think that the EPA decision. Clearly all. So is about that, right? I mean it's it's shifting away from Democratically elected officials making these decisions to the market making these decisions. Start to get all seriously. All right. Moving on Emma. Who's next? Who's Next? That's gonna be me I think. Oh, saving assshole, for dead last. Look what I like, when I'm gonna go to us because she's usually the best at this game, okay? I'm gonna take it away. Irritating lurking. Okay, number one. American companies spending on private jets hits a 10-year. High and Mark Zuckerberg's meta took the number one spot. So you're good. You have irritated me already. Oh, irritated Reeves. So 34 million dollars were spent on S&P, 500 CEOs, private travel in 2021 the last year. That's the spending was that high was in 2012, actually and meta came out on top, who spent 1.4 million dollars on Mark, Zuckerberg's, private air travel. It was one of three companies to exceed more than one million in spending on their CEOs, private jets along with Lockheed Martin and Tyson Foods. So if you ever need yeah if you ever need proof that Tyson Foods is like secretly or maybe not even secretly but seriously evil. There it is. The chicken looked the same in Oregon as it does in Alabama. What are you? Why are you flying around? Yeah it's sounds like a irritated you enough already. So I'll move on number two. Well Emma. I have to ask an annoying question. Yes. Are these kind of studies are these adjusted to inflation because the car cost the cost is No, but really like are they really spending more money? Or are they just as gas more expensive and the private jets and more expensive? You know, I'm trying to say here, does it matter cheap know? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter, even a little bit moving on, number two, H&M showed bogus environmental Higg index scores for its clothing. So this one's a little bit of a doozy requires some explanation. I'll try to get through it fast. The Higgs index score was created to be used by customers to compare the environmental impact of their purchases. But something to know before I even get into the shittyness of this, is that the Higgs index is already considered to be a bad measure by environmentalists, because it is comparing the standards to the status quo as a post. What is actually environmentally friendly. So it's just better than the shity status quo is basically what they're being measured again. So even though the Higgs index is already, a shity measure H&M, still outright lied about their scores by ignoring the positive and negative signs that they posted when they posted the scores on their website. So, for example, there are actual Higgs index score for water is a negative 30%, which means that they use 30% more water than the industry. The average, but on their website they have it as a positive 31% which means that it is 31% less than the industry average. What are you saying that you're saying, they just left out the. They inverted their own scores, they inverted it. Yep. Like routinely for everything. So not every so they have a love pigs. Indexes sustainability cards. They are not attached to every piece of clothing that H&M sells, but it's like 600, givers take and on these cards. They have the numbers and they just outright inverted. The numbers to make their scores. Yeah. Maybe they don't believe in negative and positive numbers. Give them a break, or maybe they're using a spreadsheet. That's strips. That's information out or something. Just relax. It's still the number. It's the number. It's the 31. You're looking for the positive and negative is immaterial look. So they were changing their scores and two days before this article was published H&M was taking down references to their hague's index, scores on their us and UK website. So well, you still put. Can you still get a nice scarf for six dollars? Absolutely, you have six years hundred, articles of clothing, just with the score, who I can't even think of four articles of clothing, that I don't like pants. Shoes. I mean like when you really start adding this up, how much clothing is there. Like, can we have the scores on the tag? It's on the clothes when you're buying it again. No, it's on the website when you're oh, no one even cared. Anyway, so correct. Great. All right. All right. That's my irritating. And number three, former Apple lawyer in charge of tackling insider trading guilty to insider trading. Oh, that's come on. Yeah, I'm giving this, you hate apple so much, can you finally buy a Samsung 8? A little bit of context here. He pleaded guilty to six counts of an indictment charging him with Securities fraud. Yep, each case of fraud carries a 20 year, Max sentence, and a 5 million dollar, fine. And the background information is that between 2011 and 2016. This man Gene levoff used in China information, and traded Apple stock to generate 604,000 dollars of illegal gains on more than 14 million dollars worth of trade. Come on. That's it. You tell me that a hiring executive at a corporation used information that they acquired at that Corporation to trade on stocks. This is shocking and never picked it. Um, call me, I'll double your money, don't call it because the information you're gonna need to know. Is the fact that live off was Fired from Apple in September of 2018, which was five months before the criminal charges were brought and apple declines to comment on the story. Well, it's fine. Thank you. That hired a man who was insider trading whose job it was to mitigate insider trading is not sketchy, is none of that sketchy to you at all. And apple is opening to say Emma, is that when I break into your apartment tomorrow, when you're out getting, an organic iced chai latte. The only thing is a value that I'm going to steal or gonna be all your Apple products. I'm just, I know like those are the only thing to Valley. You know, the reason why this is this is just not shocking. When you've done like governance for 20 years, this is like ho hum like of course, that's what they did that. 600,000. Come on, it's a joke. But like it though. I like, I like that you're staying on this island. I'm sticking with it. All right, it's entertaining to me. And what's your favorite Apple in the in the headline? You you know, maybe I think we're putting too much pressure on him because every week we celebrate the genius. I feel a little let down It doesn't like you the air travel, that's that's nothing new and I and I know Matt is making fun of me, but I'm sure it's just this incremental, you know, increase in cost to do. I don't think there's anything going on there. Okay, H&M 2021, like, the year post pandemic, where everybody knows, you didn't have to actually leave your house for anyting specially. If you are that silly. Like, every two weeks, no one's making fun of re for her. Also, her body weekly it, I would like to point out that my third, the original third story that I wanted to do Damian stole from me, which was now we're in. Excuse making we're in. It was the 90 Harvard alumni. Listen! Oh entertaining, I would have loved to hear you, be irritated by that. So I'm gonna vote for that. Was my original third one because you would have had that would have been genuine irritation out of you because I can just see you hating on those people. Yeah. Because I do hate them. You can always overlap stories. I didn't say much about that story, really, I just all right. Anyway, Damien voted off. The reservation. Are you voting? For private jets. 10 years High, when gas was Jet fuel was super cheap in 2021. Comparatively matter. The H&M thing I find comical because it's basically the industry that we work in and everyone gets it wrong. I just love that it comes down to, like, you didn't put the negative. I love that too. I find that awesome and same, same in just the same way. I find it. Awesome that Ernst & Young accountants cheated on an Ethics exam. I find it. Awesome that a lawyer in charge of inside her trading at Apple Insider traded. I just think those great, that's great. So, I'm gonna default to the private jets. Awesome. I mean, there you go. It's irritating to me that Mark. Zuckerberg's, the majority of that private jet travel was probably back and forth to his like, Island. He bought right? Like, oh that's, that's that's, that's irritating. Take your hydro, dude. Yeah, lather up. Get on the Hyperbole, and finally least, but not last but not least, at least. The great mattress gardi with the incredible as holiest of the week asshole of the week. Yes. All right, kill us. Ruin us. Number one, asshole of the week. This week for me, I think is mortality rates. Because if everyone didn't want to stay alive so much it wouldn't be a problem which is what Clarence Thomas is saying behind closed doors. I think just consider this the Supreme Court made sure that mortality rates increase for women on June 24th. They made sure mortality rates increased for everyone, including West Virginia's on June 30th. They increase mortality rates for from gun violence on June 23rd. That's just the last week people early in the year. They increase mortality rates by not allowing covid, vaccine mandates of the federal government. They are desperate to kill you and simultaneously. I went looking through a bunch of, you know, non woke state laws that came out in the last week. And we're only worried about increasing human mortality rates, because Florida introduced a new law to take care of retired, police dogs. As part of the law, it the way we are funding. They are funding the care of retired, police dogs, that's what they're doing to make sure that they get care. Florida. Is that mean like, has I don't understand. Has anyone tried telling the people or trying to tell, you know, the US that dogs in Flint Michigan are drinking that water too like that sums up for Florida. I did not research that sounds epochal to me in Texas. The 2022. I looked up the 2022 fishing season limits and actually there's a fish called the alligator gar and you're only allowed. The Texas government says, you can only catch one of them and I don't want in order to protect the fish population. They don't want to kill too many of them and they have rules that include when you catch and release. So it's like you bag. One means you take that one home but if you catch and release, you're not allowed to catch and release using quote, archery equipment because It rates the fish and you just really dead fish. These are probably rules set by people that, that clearance would like to get rid of. I'm sure he would like to see these regulations to go. I'm not sure Las Vegas, just passed the just to actually double down. Its enforcement of animal cruelty law for pets because of climate change. The temperature is routinely climbing above 105, 105 degrees, and they make you keep your pets inside or you can be charged with animal cruelty. So the mortality rates for Animals. We're really concerned about if you have lady Parts if you're a brown person, if you like Freedom. Yeah, not so much. Not so much. So that's starting totally depressing context. Yeah, number one mortality rates. Number two asshole, the week, you're College Dropout, Big Brother. And I do mean College dropouts here. I'm just gonna rattle off some headlines. This needs no context. All right, payment data could become evidence of abortion. Now, illegal in some states, Anti-abortion centers in the US, find pregnant, teens online, then save their data. Instagram increase moderation of abortion content for after Roe overturned. Yeah I saw that that they're good at yeah, Google allowed a sanctioned Russian add company to harvest user data for months. So loud, they are basically happy with the Russians, having your data meta is taking down posts about abortion pills on Facebook and Instagram saying it violates Community standards policy communities. They also said that they that someone some engineer made a mistake about that. Amazon is limiting purchases of Plan B on the morning after pill, because of a spike in demand and Tesla is tracking office attendance and sending emails to employees, who haven't badged in often enough? Is that wrong? Are they not allowed to track a time? I'm just saying, Big Brothers, all that data, you didn't care about for years and years and years. You happily gave to a bunch of college dropouts and billionaires, who made money off of you. They are now weaponizing against you in a very active way. So that's number two, that's my number two asshole. And then finally my number three option for asshole of the week is distractions, That could be every week. It could be every week but it's really special this week. We call this category drugs. We call the drugs because destruction. Well, if you're wondering how we get to a place where your College Dropout, Big Brothers, tracking, everything you do mortality rates increasing unless you're mostly white rich. People, truth is gone. Your job sucks. Your kids hate you customer service agents and car insurance providers hate you, everyone hates you. Here's a list of reasons why you haven't been paying attention number one Shabani. Launches its first Roblox game to promote oatmeal, There's reason number one, thank you, reason for putting in the property, horrendous contact, number two, you got headlines like this. I tried the rebranded McDonald's in Russia, and the fries seem sadder. Okay, just say this is my definitely my favorite headline of the week. I love this. I am sadder. I like, I went through that entire article saw every picture. It was literally the same thing. I don't know why you can't rate these things. I have a number three, french fries. Taco Bell Embraces mashup weirdness once again. Rolling out a tostada. On a giant Cheez-It. Mm-hmm. This is what The Cheez-It tostada is what it's called. Is an oversized Cheez-It. Cracker 16 times as large as the one you get in a box top with Taco crap on it. That's what it is bigger than the box, it's just giant cracker. And that's how many news we care about that. How about the Disney wish cruise ship selling a 5,000 dollar Star Wars themed cocktail? The drink is called, Know it's called the kyber crystal. It's served in a smoke machine. It's this like pause and you open it up and smoke pores out and then you get like, three little tiny drinks. That's is there? A 5000 dollar bill in the drink? Like, how was it so expensive? You get it at the hyperspace Lounge, that's how it's talking about. Oh, you're just blowing my mind. Now there's the there's other things here, including Popeyes, having a hard time getting rid of MSG because I mean like why these are things that were talking about nfts fell off a cliff in the in the past week, lowest level in years. Snap just debuted its paid subscription for power users. The idea that there's a snap power user is already a problem in this my daughter. Yeah, Joe Rogan exists. He's saying stuff about DeSantis this week and Elon Musk the ultimate distraction just saying everything buying Twitter. Distractions are my third option, so that's it. I thought you must go on quiet this week is he is he back, he's tweeting so quiet. He's still quiet too. He's he got rained in by his lawyers, about the Twitter thing, I'm gonna vote for, I can go quickly on this one because I I think this is a this is another one of my favorite categories destructions category, which we call drugs here because I think this is, you know, Matt's making light of this. But I think it's actually More important than the humor value, right? I think you're right. I think we're being driven mad by Distraction constantly, whether it's just binging Netflix shows or eating giant Cheez-Its. It's clearly at this point, clearly seems designed for a reason because you know, when you're doing street magic, you want to divert people to look over there, right? When you're taking away their social security or their rights to their own health to their taking away their you know that the Health Care on their own body. I never saw the David Bowie. I'm sure he was like look over there. I have your social security check. Yeah, I have your, I have your abortion, right? So I this yeah, I'm voting for this one. I'm going for this. All right, good one. I'm gonna vote for mortality rates because that context is just so incredible. Well my and Ari the maybe there's a good reason for this because we're not going to be able to keep all these people alive for so long. Maybe we do sir silver line. I said yeah we do this white men, the ones that get to its rich man it's not just wait rich man's rich. Yeah, it's it's the 1% that's a fake thing because the one percent is really the 10%. Oh, all right, look all these things say me. This is, I'm the one look white men, Richard not have had mortality rates worse than women for a long time. Women live longer were just trying to get to a quality. The Supreme Court is saying the qualities what matters, so everyone should die as much as possible equally. All right, say, Matt, I think that the mortality rate one is too depressing for me to name as the asshole. I just can't make me sad and then just distractions, I really like. Because Matt, you like them at least four headlines that I really that I pulled this week that I really liked, but couldn't figure out how to incorporate, so I'm psyched at getting some airtime. But I think I am gonna go with your College, Dropout, brother. Because I am just You know, Roby Wade gets overturned. What does everyone do? Let's get all of the data. From all of these women, who in their health, like, I just such a dick move. I just right now, is outside Amazon apartment. Rooting through her trash to see what she's been doing. And make sure it's legal. She's been buying Apple products, to be fair Emma. There were already gonna click the data even without this rolling, I mean, so there it's true. The depressing, one on that list was. And this actually, I'm gonna vote with Emma here because the depressing one on this list. The last story, which I didn't read Planned, Parenthood, could share personal data, like zip codes of abortion Seekers with Google and Facebook which means what's that about what Facebook or like yummy yummy more data for us. What is that? Did you what what's the do you have? You know what their website has data on users, zip code and they suspended the data sharing. But they were Sharing the data with Google and Facebook. Because they everybody's using the same College dropouts, whether you're on the side of conservatives or progressives you've been sharing that you've been using, the college dropouts, Target audiences and like, get out there and make sure everyone sees you until to me. The two, the distractions in the college dropouts are related in as much as until you all. Shut off your fucking stupid social media accounts, go out side like like and guess what? You can still catch one alligator gar in Texas, so it's still, you still have rights. I think that we're all screwed. That's it. I have a solution actually. Before we wrap up, I bought a hammock that actually cost less than five months of Netflix cost less than that. And I and I got to tell you it's it's it's more enjoyable I finding it more enjoyable enough looks just being outside in the hammock. All right let's look at. Let's get to who won up predictions. So Damien can go lie in his hammock. Wrapping up story of the week who are the Creeps in the black roads, goodly to the week. Mark Cuban is saving our drugs. As holy as the week are College. Dropout, big brother and irritating this week are private jet. Who won the week. Anyone I can go. I think that Mark cub, Won the week, both really for his cheap drug. Fuck you and for managing to make me forget for a second that he's a crypto pushing billionaire. So yeah. I don't know if I feel comfortable celebrating Mark Cuba. He spends a lot of time at basketball games. If he had so much power to help Humanity, why is it so many basketball games? He owns the team speaking of distractions. I know, I get it. I get it. I just well, you just why he's at the game? Just come on, give me a break with all that. Yeah, go ahead. I think Mark Cuban one as well. Wow, when you have, you know, Harvard Med school and the big hospital in Boston being like, hey, Federal government. Look what we can do. See if you so much money. Like that is such great. PR. You can't buy that. I mean maybe he donated a wing. Oh well, I'm each of these institutions but That's pretty legit. I'm glad to see you're both wrong because Clarence Thomas won the week. Um, oh, yeah, any person could have won the week Fortune. He's literally married to Jenny Thomas. This did not wait, can you? Well, he likes that. Can you think of ginni Thomas is not in the headlines right now? Clarence is forgetting. All of the stuff you want. Jenny sort of is an all fairness a little bit, but not really like, you know, Claire. I think Clarence won the weekend with the subsidiary. Win to white men. So thanks Clarence. That's everything. My white man, went and my winner. My winner is a tangent on yours map because I pick sadness that could also predict every week predictions. I'll go first predictions. I'm gonna say the NFL severely punishes quarterback to Sean Watson, a good reason, but but, but but they're doing to do that because it's easier and arguably more fun. If you're pandering to an anti-walk audience to Target a black player than a white owner, I don't think they're not gonna punish Dan Schneider in the same way, they're going to punish the Sean Watson. I think they're gonna use the sharp Watson punishment to distract from punishing, a white owner. And to kind of play, Kate quote, unquote, woke crowd, who wants something done here. So, wow. Thank you, Emma, thank you. Yeah. No, I feel very confident that is going to happen. Fun targeting black quarterbacks. It's just the right thing to do. If you're The Grubby discussing in NFL re never has a prediction and would you have a prediction? Apparently yeah. Apparently I could not predict that I was about to choke covid Round 4. But yes, I do. My prediction is that Elon Musk is going to come back to Twitter and announced that. He's the new head of the SEC and he can now tweet with impunity. Oh, that would be good. You know, that's now I am a back Old School, Mr. All right, Emma's back. That would be fabulous. I, I'm gonna predict that we will hear within the year, our first self-defense case and which a woman actually says, she sues. The government for not allowing her to defend herself from her own body when she gets pregnant. I would I think we're going to have a self-defense case in which she says the fetus is out to kill me. Yeah, or hurt me or it's it is actually infringing on my rights. I'm going to sue. The government for not allowing me to defend myself. So we're going with this. That's like we're going with this and embryo contest and Court. Look, if we are going to say far from that, we are going to say an embryo is a person at conception, then we can almost word about them. You can, you know, say that this thing is out to get me and I want to sue the government for not allowing me to protect myself. Sorry Matt. I kind of like we're going with this. I'm kind of getting weird. So I just gonna shoot Herself. No, no. She's going to say that if I have the right to purchase a gun to protect my home from Invaders, I should have the right to protect my body from an Invader in it. It's a, it's a fascinating Theory because unfortunately, I think they're with their are gonna now. They're gonna push for like, a personhood movement where they're gonna try to hold people. But Matt, I you might not be kind of off on that one. I mean you're right right like if you don't want it there and it's a person. Why can't you shoot it? The in the ruling for Roe v Wade there's a line about the value of potential life so potential life if you extend that, that includes semen and eggs before they've ever touched, they just potential life, it includes anything. That is what just like, what about AI? What if somebody says at some point AI is future potential life so you cannot turn it. Off. Right. Like you have to allow it to live. The Google engineer said that the hypothetical sentient AI. Has higher a lawyer. So maybe we'll see that very soon. Okay, we're up. There we go. I like this. Get us out of here. Somebody that was Damian Wallace and Emma Larkin and Ari the day to clean I'm at Scotty we are free full media. That was business pants. So weekly Roundup? We will be back again next week. With stuff every single day. So come, do those things? Goodbye.