Transcript
oh, yay. It's me. I'm at mascardi. Live. From the bottom side of a climate grenade, it's a weekend. Catch up edition of business pants. I'm your lonely host. I'm very lonely. Nobody ever wants to join me anymore. Damien, I think is quit. Ari is I don't I don't even know what Ari does. I'm just by myself. And today's moist news bag called, September 6th 2022. We got big stories over the weekend. We're just doing big stories over the weekend. That's all we're gonna do. We're gonna rush through some of the big stories of the weekend and then we're going to end with something incredibly incredibly. Sad. You ready for this? All right, let's do this thing. First up. Russia cuts off gas to Europe indefinitely. The result of them turning off the gas to Europe, is likely to be Europe, resorting to coal and leaving behind climate targets because apparently people vote and they don't like dying in the cold of winter but that's Russia's hope. And if you're thinking that Russia is really hoping Not for economic sanctions to end. I have a theory. My theory is that this is all Putin's plan to slowly turn Russia into a drunker more conservative version of Tampa Bay Florida by 2100. Turn on all the coal. Let's get this climate change, going at which point this picture right there that picture. Is likely to be banned from libraries too because that's what we do in Tampa here. That's what happens. In uplifting news. This might be my favorite story of The Weeknd Trump. Oh wait, Trump. Try to subvert democracy. But can't figure out how to unsubmit it. Here's the headline shares of trump. Links back fall after merger extension vote. Reportedly fails. Even though one guy on 20% of the stock and to get a quorum, they only needed 60% of shareholders to vote. They apparently didn't get it. That's right. Another election was stolen from Trump this time from his Media Company by his own lazy meme shareholders who didn't bother to show up to the polls. The result might be if the extension fails the SPAC liquidates and Trump media gets no Capital Trump social or truth, social has to start again, which would be hard. Given how Trump in the SPAC are currently under investigation for, basically, every thing ever that's ever happened to anyone. speaking of me memes in Saturn news, Bed Bath & Beyond CFO Gustavo, arnal committed suicide over the weekend. He was under investigation for pumping and dumping shares along with Ryan Cohen. The meme, stop, king of GameStop Fame, but let's get something straight. It's not a story necessarily about Mr. Arnold who unfortunately committed suicide. This is a story about when you turn money into his stupid game. No matter how fake stocks might be. There are actually tend to be real people in the game with real jobs, who are affected by this, we built board. Saber metrics are own platform to tell you who these people are to give them a face in a name because they're real, it's not all of fun joke. And Robinhood home to meme stock stupidity. Is a fake democracy. With dual class shares that insulated leaders from actual responsibility and in 2020. When a college kid committed suicide because the platform term money in Money into a happy fun time Robin Hood's response was to Now operate a suicide hotline for its customers. Instead of stopping it being a game and stop using the word democratizing, which is stupid way of saying, we're gonna give you all the power to do something. You have no actual education to do know, we're just gonna open up a suicide hotline for when you think about killing yourself because of all the ridiculousness. Maybe we can talk you out of it. Next up, I'm sure Robinhood has planned a suicide hotline for executives at the companies where the company the their customers are actually getting their laws. and speaking of lulls, The billionaire genital measuring contest is heating up. That's right. Heading out of the headline out of the Wall Street Journal over the weekend, yachts and watches. The real CEO Flex is washboard abs Yeah, that's the thing that's apparently a CEO Flex. Now the hard-hitting news covered, Jeff bezos's, biceps Strauss zelnick twice, daily workout routine, and Elon Musk jumping in saying. Quote, I should work out Yeah. That's what he said. I think he's got a little Envy. It also featured Willie Walker, who's the CEO of Walker and Dunlop, which is a real estate company saying is weight training resulted in quote and eight pack, but he doesn't want to post pictures of himself on Instagram and brag, because it feels quote a little bit to sell a grand dising. Grand dying. Doing a 1,000 words. Spread about your workout routine, isn't This is in the Wall Street Journal. He's quoted talking about this in the Wall Street Journal. It's positively humble the article did manage to compare and contrast male CEOs. Getting woke to AB, routines to women who for around three Millennia have had to pay attention to their physical appearance because they wouldn't get jobs. They'd get mocked, they get paid less when I'm sorry, I'm getting breaking news. Apparently those things have not stopped happening. Women's, still have to do all those things. Why are we writing about this? This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. If the journal wanted to do an article competing article on female executives it probably couldn't find enough to cover and that's why they're writing about this speaking of diversity and genitals, I guess. There are no black elves or female heroes or so, the Antiques say, because they're angry at the wokeness of Amazon, over the weekend, a headline coming out of CNN, covering the drop of the new Lord of the Rings show on Amazon. Here's the headline when wokeness comes to Middle Earth, why some say diverse casting ruins, the new Lord of the Rings series. first of all, some are the editor of red State, a conservative media outlet and an academic who wrote a book on Tolkien but also wrote This book or this piece called understanding Jordan, Peterson's connections to prophetic Christian truth. And he wrote that unironically. so, some also includes Blow hard, billionaire, Elon Musk who said quote Tolkien is turning in his grave and quote almost every male character. So far is a coward, a jerk or both. Only girl is brave smart and nice. That was supposed to be a knock on the show, apparently. The musk thinks only white dudes can have not nice things. Not this guy over here. No, he can't have nice things. Not that guy. No, not going to be him or that probably really nice lady. She can't have nice things either. I mean, it is easy to suspend disbelief for things like dragon's or Evil black face Orcs And they probably listen to Kendrick Lamar, I don't know, or even like short hairy dude, with Grandpa beards who dig for mythical metals that don't exist and are indestructible that I can get behind. I can believe that. But a brown elf that guy. No way. I'm out. What the f is that I am out. It's worth actually pointing out here before I go on that up until about five years ago, corporate boards were on average, 90% white, and 80% male, and the percentage of cowards and jerks is currently unknown. But here is a picture of the wokeness of Amazon's board Amazon themselves. This is where the woke comes from. Where there are two people of color out of 11, which is about, I think the ratio of black elves to white ones. I'm not totally sure, but either way, it's not great in the big Story coming out of the weekend. Climate change, poo, poo platter in the last. 48 hours alone, here are the new story is covering the Myriad of idiosyncratic and crappy ways. Climate change is screwing with you. These are all real. I did not make one of these up. If you're a teacher first, here's the headline. The cost of climate change on schools, hot classroom and shortened days. So teach teacher, it's about to get a lot, sleepier in your classroom, no air conditioners there. If you're single, I'm sorry, hear the headlines. I couldn't date a climate change denier, the couples who Bond and split over love of for the planet. And here's another one from Merlot's flavor to cabernets acidity. Here's how climate change is reshaping the world's most beloved wine regions. I put that in single, I feel like maybe I'm I'm making a. Maybe maybe I'm not being woken enough but apparently your wines gonna suck. Now if you like going on Hikes here, a few headlines to make you feel worse about yourself. Is climate change. Making poison ivy worse? Here's the, here's the, here's the lead. It is It's actually not making it more, it's making it both more toxic as in itchier and spread more. How about this headline climate change in the future of mountain ultramarathons? That's out of the LA Times, guess what? They have no future. Where this one allergy season impacted by climate change, scientists say? Yes, they do. They say your allergies suck more. That's what they say, or my favorite climate change. Can make bumblebees wake up, too early and die. That's a headline. That's what climate change is doing. And for those of you who generally, like not being dead, here's the worst headlines because these are, these are the nice ones. The worst ones are us flood maps, outdated. Thanks to climate change. FEMA director says and climate change may make air turbulence worse. As in, you can fall out of the sky now. Thanks climate change. That's what we have to look forward to. And I'm going to end the poo poo platter or derv section with the main course a game show. You can play by yourself. Here's the headline. I'm playing it off of By 2080, climate change will make us City shift to climb at seen today, hundreds of miles to the South. That's right. We now know what your new climate city is so strap in. Let's play this game. Are you ready? Guess what? City? You now live in climate wise, if you are in New York City, if you live in New York today, you know what? Your climates going to be like in 2080, it's going to be like, Jonesboro, Arkansas. That's right. Tornado Alley. Just moved to the north east, the packed up and took a Greyhound now. Lives next to you, how about Portland? Maine Home of Our Own Intrepid, Damian rawlas Portland, Maine will now be like Baltimore Maryland. I think they both have crabs though, so that's maybe that's not that big of a change. How about San Francisco? San Francisco's, got to be like something crazy, right? It is, it's like, Paolo's Verdes California, which it all sounds like it's in California. Except California is basically the entire coast and this is outside of La. So you hear that Tech Bros because now, you too can have no water ever. No water for you. So forget your avocado toast and your coconut water. There's no coconuts, there's no avocados and there's no water. And finally, If you are in Houston Texas, your new climate city, is according to this study. In Mexico. It's Queen, add Monty and Mexico. Where do we build the border wall? If Houston's now in Mexico? Do you have to build it? Do you build it on the current border? Do you do build it on the climate border and who are we keeping out? Because it's certainly we can't keep out the heat. The walls not going to work that way. That's all I got. I was mad, mascardi cheese, analyst? We are free flow media. This was business pants. Come back tomorrow, for more of whatever it is, we do here. I'll talk to you then.