Business Pants – 2022-10-26

Hello. Oh You're so sad sounding live. From your ESG, 19. Fogg, it's a Woke data, Wednesday spectacular here. I think I emphasized the wrong words there here at the Black Rock bouncy house. I didn't know they had a blood. Oh, that would be awesome. I'd be looking for a black rock if they had a bouncy house. Join us always by our BS correspondent. That's bored super Matrix. Matt mascardi. I'm his other brother. Dombey, Ono, mascardi. Oh, Damiana. That's terrible. And today is a real name. We're better than NPR scented nuggets called October 26th, 2022, celebrity directors. And an anti-wolf education. Is that what you're doing? And that's what I'm doing. I'm loving everything. You just said. It really makes me feel good. Matt Today's episode is sponsored by ESG. Yeah, ESG data Solution. That's right. Today. No, Paul Hudson. You're clapping the Paul's off. No clapping for S cage. Okay? Paul. Told me that he's dabbling with his own kind of version of covid, 20. He said, it's not covid, but it's adjacent. So let's call it covid. 20 the Great Dodge 19B. 19 B. Here we go. Ready to do this before my voice falters? Yeah, let's do this. Matt celebrities on boards. We've had a missed this overall. Yeah. Why don't we talk about this more? Yeah. I I occasionally I talk about some of the bigger ones that would pop up in the news but we never really did a segment on it. So let's do it today. Celebrities on boards. Yeah, you want to say something before I get going I don't I want to know who's I. Was there a game? Is there something one of my doing is No Game, you're just gonna tell me the list. It's a big long boring list. Oh good. Nothing says, interesting analytics, like a list. First of all, this comes from an article from Fortune magazine called celebrities on boards, more than notable names. Yeah. Oh, I was just testing that they're on the boards because of their business acumen. I don't know, but here's a quote from Matt fulbrook. Who is called a governance expert and host of the one-minute governance podcast. You know, this guy No one minute. Governor's pocket. We could we can do these in one minute. Why are we like, what are we doing wrong? Where are you gonna happen? It's and we haven't even started. What do you even say in a One Minute Podcast? Like and does he think he has a governance expert? Sure. Like you do you have a ESG expert shirt? No, definitely swag. But because who would buy one minute governance as a shirt that's just Matt full book. I know you're listening. Join us. Come on, come on. You should do a good game with us. We want to know, know, know we're gonna be nice to your face. Here's a quote. He made it to Fort Myers magazine. I didn't here's his quote There is no inherent upside or downside to the celebrity angle Beyond clickbait, which could be great or awful. And then, he says, the real benefit comes if the celebrity is all, so a great director. I mean, yeah right. I'm not exactly sure what kind of analysis. That's one minute governance analysis that is saying Matt is that the director will be good if they're great if they're a great director. They'll yeah. Right directors are good when they're good. That's true. That's here we go. It's like Herman Edwards saying we played a win game. Oddly Wikipedia, has an entry called celebrity board director. I don't understand this entry at all. There's no examples. There's a few dead links, like, they insinuated that they're in the two in 2009, that the SEC discussed new rules around. These celebrity directors but I don't see any hard information about this. Okay good that's well. Wikipedia is not exactly a vetted source of information. Is it? It also says in this celebrity board director article, other characteristics of a celebrity board director, include ethical solid business, judgment reliable agent, informed, stakeholder and effective stewardship. So I don't know the qualifications to be a direct. Let's get to it. Celebrity part. You get me there. Come on. Get me there. All right. You want more. You want another transition? How many transitions you need here? All right. Let's start with some of the classics. Let's start with some entertainers. We'll be brief on. I'll be a brief at first and then all the end, I'll give you some of my favorite. Thank God. I mean, early ones I didn't know about Cary, Grant famous American movie actor, Cary was on the board of Faberge. The egg company. Yes, Joan Crawford, another famous American actor. Pepsi Pepsi Cola Joan, Crawford also, Grace Kelly 20th Century Fox. That makes more sense. But what years were these? These are like the 50s. These are all, these are oldie, timey, dudes. And and I don't know if you notice, but I think Cary Grant was gay. I think and Joan Crawford and Grace Kelly I believe were women. So Yeah, directors. Maybe your first diverse director hires maybe. But let's say if board saber metrics existed in 1950, when they were setting on the board, they would have said our metric sort of said, no one listens to those people like that would have been pretty clear cut, right? Like they had a role. Then plus, there were no, there were no rules. You could put anybody you put a horse on your board. Like what was the rules was there? No rules, but they're not even any filings on the SEC website. I couldn't even get any good information Zack from Cody. Yeah, modern, hold on. Yeah, now we're just from the 50s still. Like the 20th, there's, you know, why there's nothing in between. I don't know why the single directors. Wow, yeah. Ashton Kutcher. VOX media, Oprah Weight, Watchers blah, blah blah. I like this one. At the same time at the board of MGM. Same time. Two celebrity directors. I think this is the only time I've seen this Priscilla Presley. Right. The, the wife of that bloated guy, Elvis. Sure. And Francis Ford Coppola famous movie director, same time. MGM I will say. So this is entertainers, is that the section we're in? That's this section entertainers. Next, we're moving onto athletes. Wow, entertainers, don't make a good showing, I'm a little disappointed with entertainers, you know. I, I don't giving an exhaustive look, just some of the famous ones. Anyone giving Jon Stewart a board position John. He's seems like someone who actually could do that job. I don't know, like, he fulfill us for sure Duty. You know what? We have a John Stewart, ask your coming up a little bit later. Actually, it's actual Jon Stewart or Sam, B, or put them on our board. Let's go. What about my Scotty on the board? Of Kraft? Heinz, that will be the day the day. They let me in a boardroom. Is it? Some of the more famous ones. Michael, Jordan Oakley Magic Johnson at Square. Do you realize this Magic Johnson? I yells Magic Johnson own really like multiple sports teams and stadiums and stuff. How about this one? Arthur Ashe Aetna. Life Arthur Ashe great tennis player? Arthur Ashe. I wouldn't have guessed that. A shack. We talk about shock a lot. Papa John's. He's a big one in favor and again, once again, all these are diverse board hires all all of them. Well, in fact, leads tend to be relatively diverse now, well, in fact, most of the entertainers I lists are other women or yeah black So, I don't know, I don't know what the women black and GAP here. Yeah, yes. Speaking of gay. And and Matt, let's move on to the ones that I wanted to highlight. I want to highlight some of the fun celebrity directors. Matt, you had a piece just yesterday, was it? ESG Tucker Tucker, Carlson Tucker Carlson you talked about Billie Jean, that wasn't me. Okay. Well, whoever, I mean you, you put out the show, I don't know. Yeah, I just recorded a LinkedIn. I don't know what's going on. Now, you ready for this one? The director. Really where? Of all companies. Philip Morris. That's so whoa. That Wow, was a director at a cigarette company? Yeah, well, it was a different era. They used to smoke cigarettes, like before, like LT would just, okay, cane and smoke cigarettes, and they're like mobile. The error that match referring to was between 1999 and 2003. That's that's what I'm saying. It's a different era. Like we grew up in that era. We was like, Six, that's what we did. Here's what's fascinating about Billie Jean King. She also served on two committees, She said not only on the committee on public affairs and social responsibility. That's okay. She served on the nominating in corporate governance committee Billie Jean, King Philip Morris, Nominating. I mean not Bobby Riggs clearly like her 10 year lasted four years I couldn't find announcement of why she left but fascinating one there. Another fascinating one. OJ Simpson. Oh no. I'm serious. Two different look anymore. Two different boards Infinity broadcasting where he served on the audit committee. I there's no joke you're laughing. This is true. The audience is laughing too. Yeah, that just me and also ironically This stuff, writes itself, celebrity director OJ Simpson served at forstner group which is an importer and distributor of the Swiss Army brand of knives. Oh, That's less. I mean, did you? It was all the committee. I mean, he knows how to bury the evidence, so being the Committees, probably good idea, right? Yeah. Not the other committee there. Oh, that's disappointing. Here's a human knives and audit. Expertise what weird companies. Hall of Fame, basketball player, Dwayne Wade, he's on the board of a company called Jeter, which is a cannabis company. It's not a public company, but I just wanted to point this out, because it made me laugh at the company, where he serves as a director, it was sued for not making customers High Enough. Oh, how about this one? Serena Williams. Oh, now we're getting into. Serena Williams is like a venture capital player and you didn't entertainers Ashton Kutcher, whose capital player, and on multiple boards, National butcher early. He lost over him, he didn't care. Yeah. Well you didn't really sit on him like he's like Serena Williams scored actually successful. Here's what I like about Serena Williams three, three, separate boards. So she's our she's our winner. So far in the celebrity Board Race part Poshmark Poshmark, which was a member of the compensation committee, a Poshmark good, bring down that, bring down that pay baby, bring it down. Momentum Global which used to be Survey Monkey, she served there for five years less and Survey. She was on the board of a SPAC called Velo 3D. So the the weird thing about Serena Williams is that she quit all three boards, essentially, when she quit tennis. I have no idea why, because he seems about the officer of what you would have expected. Well, I do think she's focusing in on this thing that she's doing like it's like a venture firm for actually for why don't you go call her? My marginalized communities know you can spend you gotta spend your time doing the real thing. I mean know what that actually suggests Is that boards are fake things. Like you don't like you do. Tell us tell. Okay. So you you had a career as a tennis player and had plenty of time to sit on the board of these companies and Beyond the compensation committee. But then you quit being a tennis player, you start your own business and all of the sudden you don't have enough time to quit all the boards simultaneously. What does that suggest about? What it takes to be on the board? It's like when you want to do something real, you don't sit on the board of a company. That's what it suggests to me. Well, maybe they pushed her out because no more free tickets to the US Open. Maybe they're just like, we don't know. Oh, you think it was cool? Oh wow. Know who knows that? All right. That's your best conspiracy theory yet. Let's get to my two favorites and then I'll wrap up this terrible segment. Wayne Norbit Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs. Now that's just a joke. Okay, let me get to my two favorite. Two favorites, although I do like that one. I do like that one Way, Emma Watson. Oh, you know, this fellow Brown Alum, Emma Watson, she's very smart. She sit on the board of caring, a French luxury goods company. That kind of makes sense when I think about it. Yeah I don't like that that much. She's very luxurious to me when I see she is really smart for that was. Okay. Like a science company or granted. I agree. She's smart and you know what? And I was in full favor of this one she is the ready for this one, man. She she is the chair. Of the sustainability committee. The chair. Wow. Yes. He's incredible. She started a four-year term on that board in 2020 granted. It's a family control companies so all a little bit made up over there but she she yes she is the chair of a board committee at a publicly traded company. I love committee that you then dropped those like fake public bomb on us and said that. I'm gonna drop another ball which might make you a little sad, but before we get to that, though, she's listed in the proxy is having both industry and CSR expertise. Just, I did, you know, well, while I was at msci, I thought I saw her go to the the, like, water cooler one day. I thought maybe she was in the kitchen. I could have swore. I was like, that learning CSR stuff. And I, well, I think she was doing. She was covering. Yeah. She was covering financial services companies. There wasn't like a brown fist bump. You could have given her or something. I don't. What's the brown fist bump? I don't know. I know absolute. Here we go. Here's a to bring you down before we get too excited because actually I was excited by this. I wanted to promote Emma. Here's the fun part. Makes me laugh a little bit, the great Emma Watson. I do love those Harry Potter movies. Here's a quote from the latest proxy statement. Again, this is the chair of the sustainability committee at caring. She attended two of the 10 board meetings held in 2021 and this is the best part and she was unable to attend the sustainability committee meeting. There was one meeting last year the committee she shared, she didn't go to that meeting. So her attendance rate came in at a whopping 18%, the great Emma Watson. Wow. Oh wait, how much did she get paid for that for partial service? It looks about like 40 to 50,000 Euros, but it'll get a little bit bigger next year because I did see that. Yeah, you haven't mentioned this Mark Wahlberg's on a board. Yeah, tell me. So Mark what I found this in our board saber metrics accidentally because I was doing some QA and I saw Mark Wahlberg and I was like is that the Mark Wahlberg turns out another one the Mark Wahlberg Mr. Wallburg they referred to him. He is on the board of f45 which is like a shortness company or something and since they went public via SPAC so he was on he was the SPAC board and that's how he got on. He got 260,000 dollars. For attending a whopping two meetings in 2021 two out of how many though. Two out of two. Okay. Well he held two meetings. Okay. Better than Emma. Sorry Emma. But when you chair the committee, you probably should show up to its only meeting of the or how about this, how about schedule that you have 365 cracks at this? How about you schedule that one meeting on a day that you're actually available? That would be an idea. Yeah, yeah. There's I mean, you train from London to Paris a very fast train that she could have taken together, you don't, you know, I think they counted attendance via Zoom. I don't think you have to show up in person. They still count you. You could turn your business off and put it in the background, and yeah. Okay. And finally, I and that's the point. There are a lot of now celebrities joining boards by us back. And I, yeah, because I don't like specs and I think they're stupid. All right, the final, the best one, maybe the most infamous I should say is Lance Armstrong which I guess is sort of America's most notorious liar. I suppose it's a famous liar. No. Famous cheater. Famous fraud. I don't know what he is here. Like Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds are probably worse. Maybe, maybe Lance gives him run. Lance Armstrong Morgan's Hotel Group. Okay. Know. This is from 2008, I'm looking at the 2008 proxy, he was there for a few years. Here's the kicker though, for Lance Armstrong, he made 72,000 dollars that Year from the proxy. Here's a quote from the proxy, our board held 11 scheduled board meetings in 2007 and also a number of ad hoc board meetings because the CEO was stepping down. So that's these are important meeting. You got to be around. Yeah. All the director's attended at least 75% of board meetings. with the exception of one man, who attended 71% and Mr Armstrong who did not attend any So, there you go. That's that's You and when he when he sat down the board put out an announcement thinking Lance for his contributions to the board over the past two years the contribution of not showing up that conversation that and they said they are grateful for his service to the company which they thinking before those. That's my look at celebrity directors, you know what there is unfortunately yeah that that you left out that's actually legitimately successful also which is yeah Roger Staubach, the quarterback saw him on a list, he had a company like to stop the company and he sold the car real estate companies that he sold to Jones Lang, LaSalle which is a massive financial institution and sat on the board as their executive chairman. For years doesn't surprise me that there's something about. I remember him from my childhood when I remember him and I never saw him play, but I always see him. Associated with the Dallas Cowboys. He always looked like he was a CEO of something he just looked like very yeah well he was the CEO something and then like I'm sure He must have been one of the one who escaped. The CRT that concussion, really did brain injuries because well I made a long career out of board boardroom stuff. I thought I thought with the relative success of Shaq, at Papa John's. We've tried to figure out ways to make fun of Shack on the board. It sounds like he's actually doing his job doing well. I don't wait a minute. Yeah, we're not making fun of Shaq, we're making fun of the board because the reason Shaq part of the reason why they went with the largest blackest individual, they could find was he born racist? Just got rid of their racist, CEO? I mean, it was like so comical. That's, that's the joke. Not well, I thought we were Beyond this lands Armstrong era. I thought I would find that all the new directors would would be putting in a lot of hard work. So, Emma, Watson thing kind of upset me a little bit kind of Derailed that theory so it would do that. Yeah, I'm gonna leave it at that. Emma Watson, Emma Watson watches on. I told you my hairy eyeball on her. Yeah. All right. Let's move on to song, education. Come on. All right. Here's what I got. So, what I'm going to tell you was all real. I'm not gonna tell you anything that's fake. And here's the real thing. I was how dare you, this is an update from the anti-woke and it's the one you've been waiting for because it's here. Now, you can get a k through college. Anti woke education, we finally have all the elements in place. And there's a place. Now, that's announced that they are. Happy to ignore data in facts, alternative views of the universe in favor of a single myopic view that there is nothing alive, except for shareholders. And that place is Troy University in Alabama. Here's the headline. Oh, Business Leaders. Should know the value of business? A new program at Troy University hopes to do its part, This is written by Daniel Sutter, who is the Charles G Coke professor of Economics? That's right. Sponsored by the Koch brothers. Oh yeah, with the manual h Johnson Center for political economy at Troy University. Here's a quote from Sutter in the article. He says, quote the roots of what John McWhorter characterized. As woke religion lie in Marxist. Critical race Theory which partitions Society intent, antagonistic oppressor and oppressed classes on the other hand, business enables cooperation in which people don't force their values, on each other as Voltaire, observed about the London. Stock Exchange, quote here, Jew muhammadin and Christian deal with each other. As they as though, they were all of the same faith and only apply the word infidel to people who go bankrupt. Okay, so he's invoking Voltaire there. Who basically said people of all Races and Creeds come together, and the only one who gets left out is the the bankrupt? That's the one who gets the oppressed is the bankrupt. Yeah. And just so it it doesn't feel left out. I'm gonna finish the rest of that same Voltaire quote, the next sentence of that was gonna ask, actually. Yeah, which sounds creepily like a case for diversity, which is quote, was there in London, but one religion despotism might be apprehended. If two only, they would seek to cut each other's throats. But as there are at least 30 they live together in peace and happiness. Wait, he is he's building a diverse board. He basically just said, diversity, is your source of peace and happiness, that was the next line. I didn't go 12 lines later, that's the next line in the in voltaire's quote. So now, just to summarize, you have Prager University. Who is paying six figure University? Yeah, University. Yeah. That's terrible. Um, they're paying six million a year to Facebook and 4 million a year to Google to advertise their K through 12, curriculum with such hits as trophies are for winning. And a a television series called Otto's Tales. It's targeting kindergartners and they cover things like the American Trinity of God, American exceptionalism in nationalism. You can go to Florida which bans the discussion of racism, social, emotional learning and math. Obviously, if it asks something like what happens when you add three American flags to six leftists it equals socialism. That's their math. That's math Florida. Now and now Troy University dropping a foot in the college curriculum so that finally we can get a full Soup To Nuts education and how to be anti-walk. And the good news is this is a game for you. I think I got a hold of a preview of the classes that they're hoping to teach at Troy. Oh good. So what you're going to play is called what classes should I take this semester? And which you're going to choose two classes out of the following like this, I always like choosing classes for kids. It was the going through the big book of hopeful moment. It is, you go through the big book and you're very realized, you didn't realize that Professor was actually a giant bore with smelly coffee breath. He didn't know that. When not yet, he didn't. Yeah, you didn't know that yet. Okay, so here you'll list the classes. Are you ready? All right, number one, Cross-sectional review of White Bros on boards are there enough? That's sure. That's another. It's a different perspective of how we usually cover it but it seems valid. Yeah. I mean they're just taking it from the other side other side. Yeah. Are there enough white Bros on board seems to be the thing? All right, no class. Number two. Fundamentals of accounting, which is a cross-discipline class with Jewish studies. I thought that was clever. That's, that's disturbing. Yeah. There was ESG 101 and actually in parentheses it says ESG and then it says enemies socialism and godlessness 101. So I guess teaching you know what, I think you finally rebranded. He is she in a way that makes sense to me. Enemies socialism Godless three things. I Love Actually there was a weird class that just seemed straight up racist in which is odd for a school with, like, 40% of the class of the population is African-American, but they just said, marketing to the blacks, and they had their Yeah, but this is a public university in Alabama. Let's just acknowledge what Alabama really is, they don't, they still have the, they still have the Confederate. symbol on their flag, I'm not too sure, but if they don't, they probably still have slavery on the books as being something that on the books is in No are there some states in the South? That still have like archaic pro slavery laws that they refuse to get rid of The well they don't talk about it though because it sounds like criminal talk about it, so maybe they can talk about it. Sure University. I think you need to take ESG 101 enemies. Then the next class you can choose from is the economics of Jesus from God to free markets. Ooh, I like I like all comic book hero classes. They also have and this is actually got into some leadership Stuff, how to manage your woke employees. Is one of the classes that they're offering is really code for how to shut up. Your welcome employees. Well, they don't say that maybe they will manage them by managing them out of the company. And only hired like maybe they'll on the application. They'll say are you a Christian and do you only believe in that? And then the final class you can choose from this semester is applied conservative Behavioral Management that once all that one sounded pretty normal sounds boring. So what do you go for? I well, I think clearly, I, I don't understand ESG, so I gotta go ESG 101. Just good choice. And finally, tell me why they decided to throw those three letters together and Market it to the masses. I still don't really understand it. That's an excellent choice. Number two, deaf, how to manage your woke employees. They're going, what is one of them asked me to their week. You could use the bathroom and I thought that was a bit too entitled, so yeah, I didn't have to answer that. Did you say which bathroom? Know just to use the bathroom. Oh yeah. Get out with that. This seems to push it to me. Yeah. Just in case you were worried. You Snapple jar. Hello. You can get into the Troy program. Troy has a 92% acceptance rate. So basically you apply in your end, I'm not sure who's in the 8%. Can you imagine being well? Percent are listeners. I'm guessing. I guess they got rejected. Yes. So they listen to business plan, but also worth saying here that 42% graduation rate and percent of the Troy attendees, use the Socialist Pell grant program provided by the US government and order to allow them to go to college. They let the government alone. That's terrible. That's all we got. That's business pants. That's what Wednesday come back tomorrow when we won't be walking anymore. Thank God. We're gonna talk about other Things until then, goodbye.