Transcript
Welcome to business pants. We are free flow. We are. Matt Ari. Jesse Damien today's podcast. Business pants, corporate theater. Let me hand it off to our MC. And get the show going. Our corporate theater players this week. all the Extra caught, they cook. Phil Haack. Ashley, Kota and the Titan of all things, funny, Mike McGee each week, the hard-working crew here business pants and free float will rip actual business news. Headlines from reputable news sources in hand, those very real headlines directly over to our business pants. Corporate Theater Company who will then dramatized and satirize the stories so that the world can finally enjoy. And yes, maybe even understand the business news. This week on the show, we have two pieces exploring, the leadership transition at net flicks. America's biggest and baddest and most important drug dealer. We also have a wonderful conversation between a male CEO in his female CFO. Where the man teaches the woman, how to do her job better. Don't you just love stuff like that? I should. So let's get going, shall we? This first piece. Introduces our delightful c e o conscience fairy the we call Bert. Bert helps Netflix founder Reid Hastings. Become a better man. Read is transitioning to Executive chair and leaving his beloved streaming Empire in the hands of his co-ceos. Ted sarandos and Greg Peters, but to read is clearly feeling quite bitter about it, so are CEO conscience. Fairy Bert, swoops it to save the day. All right, let me see how this sounds. To whom it may concern. After creating a revolutionary way to access and enjoy video movies and television, that forever changed how the entire world watches video. And after 25 years of uncompromising leadership that led this company through the Uncharted Frontier of Video subscription and streaming. And made Netflix, the absolute Pinnacle of the future of entertainment. I have decided to give in to the pathetic whimpers of the Weasley board of directors and passed the sacred torch of Chief Executive Officer to two corporate lap dogs. Ted sarin. Greg Peters. Like other defeated genius, company, Founders, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos. I will reluctantly succumb to the ceremonial position. Of executive chairman. Whatever have fun destroying all that? I made love read Hastings. Oh PS. Fuck you. Perfect. Sending out a lovely bunch of coconuts. Hold on their Cowboy. You can't send that. What? Oh, no. I don't need another visit from you right now. I really don't. Wow, that comrade. I'm pretty sure we've never met. Wait, wait, are you not the annoying? Specter of Philip Seymour, Hoffman, that visits me at the worst possible time. Oh, no. I know. That's pretty fucked up. If I must say, well, who the hell are you? Oh my bitch in narcissistic friend and the CEO can't just fairy but you can call me Burt. Uh-huh. I know. That's U-Haul. Hoffman that horrid maroon bedazzled. Tutu is not gonna fool me. I'm not Finn Hoffman. I'm the CEO. Can't you just fairy and lay off me too. Too me mom made that with her own Four Hands. Oh my God, why are you here? Why do you think I'm here? You inflated corporate gas bag? I'm here to give you a conscience, a conscience. Oh you mean like Jiminy Cricket from Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, which is currently showing exclusively on Netflix. You're welcome. What a Shameless plug that was. But yeah, I guess I'm somewhere. Like him Del Toro is version is a bit darker than the actual gym though. He's really a very sweet guy and one hell of a snooker player. He's a character from a fairy tale that doesn't exist. I just spent four hours with a minute so I can tell you Jiminy Cricket. Absolutely does exist. But enough of this useless banter, I'm here because you cannot buy any means send that orally written message of a statement you just wrote. Oh yeah what do you gonna do about it? You hit that send button and I'll turn you back into an older choke. How do you even Think of something like that. It's a gift from the gods. Now, listen, I'm here to help you turn this monstrosity of a press release into something more pleasantly, professional removing, all that anger and bitterness executive changes on a normal part of business. And there's no need to make the employees and shareholders. Only about these current changes. Okay, The truth is Phil Rich. My name is Bert, Bert. I don't want to step down. Okay. I built this company. 25 years ago. Wrong wrong wrong, right wrong. Oh you found a stinky miraculously created companies out of clay. Oh by your lonesome, no one does that. You may have had an idea but you always needed others. To make that idea reality. That's something all of you big-headed pus buckets, never remember. Well, so you know what else we're gonna change? We're gonna make sure you give these two men that do tell everyone, the good they have done to help Netflix Prosper. Can you do that pus bucket? Oh, can you Yes. Yes, I can do that good and we're gonna cut out all these sophomoric labels like corporate lap dogs and Weasley ball of directors and that profanity you sound like a fucking prick when you talk like that, read, I'm mad. But I'm just mad, I don't want to step down, okay? I don't want to be an executive chairman I want to still be CEO and not just co-ceo, I mean, what the hell is a COS CEO anyway, if you can't be a CEO alone, you just you don't deserve the title at all. I don't want to be an executive chairman, our steam won't be CEO but not Kelsey, yeah, Jesus. What a pathetic toddler with a full diaper, you all. You've had the range of a quarter of a century. You greedy little wanker. It's time to pass it on to someone else. You've had a great run and made a lot of money. Say, what exactly is your current net worth right now? Read a stings. I don't pay attention. Three billion. Somewhere around three billion, three billion dollars. That's a good chunk of change read and it ain't over you get another 35 million. This year's executive. Chairman, that's a pretty good gig there, read. But these new changes like ads supported streaming and and placing firmer restrictions around password and account sharing. I never wanted those and I was very vocal about it. And now, I have to act like I'm happy about them. Oh, Paul radiation. Doesn't like change. They think of all those unsuspecting video. Stole changed. It said the same thing. When you came along and made them obsolete, that was progress. Those chains were always headed for extinction. I was just the one that got it rolling. It could have been anyone that started it really but it was inevitable. Exactly changes a normal. But sometimes jarring Port of corporate life, these ideas you protested, I say those inevitable, also, after you're almost screwed, the pooch with those lost subscriptions and stop price. Drop last year, the company needs those changes right now. So how about you gallantly step aside and let others take a shot? Yeah, I guess you got a lot to be proud of in a lot to be happy about radiation's know truthfully. I don't know how you live with yourself for killing Blockbuster and virtually every other video, rental business where you just said that change was good. But sometimes jarring to be forever remembered as the greedy bastard that toppled a lovely communal place where everyone could go in a fraud, a sad and I and see what the newest video releases were and get excited about finding just the right video and chatting with helpful to knowledgeable employees about their favorite films that you probably never heard of and discovering films by recommendation from fellow customers and then grabbing up some popcorn, a movie candy and looking forward to all the new releases that were coming out next week and just looking forward to experiencing the joy of the Home Video Store experience, which gave all the Comforts of your favorite, local bar, You erase all of that read a stings. It must be hard to get over that. Yeah. I never thought of it that way. I mean I did, but Shit. All right, let's say we have a cup of tea. You sit down and have a nice rewrite. Sure. That's fine. We'll have a nice rewrite. Oh, I just got a text from Gemini. He'd love to help us and he'll bring some scones, sure. Scones perfect. Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Lovely. Wife. For our second business, pants corporate theater sketch of the day. We peek into the sea Suites at Gregson Corporation. Where the CEO is teaching DCF, oh, how to do her job better. Let's listen in, shall we? Stand Stinson. Where is that copy? I need the text for the annual report. In my office. We need to get this done coming. Serve, just dropping it up. Got it. Sir. I have the copy you asked for come in. It's done sir. Here you go. Your discussion essay for the annual report. I think the investors will really, really look extension. You're really great CFO, really. I mean you dress really well and it's nice to say we have a woman and managing who isn't just ahead of Human Resources but you really need to work on your riding skills. I'm not sure. I understand sir. I did a second minor in comparative literature and writing because majoring in Applied Mathematics and minoring, and behavioral economics didn't seem like enough. I thought I was this sentence here, for instance, incorporations net income for the fiscal year, end was 200 million. It's so cold. It's so clinical. Aren't you supposed to be? I don't know nurturing, but that was our net income. I mean, how would you make a fact, nurturing? Oh, you got a lot to learn 200 million, just sounds so small this way. And I don't know. Impotent flaccid. You see what I'm saying? How is a number flaccid, try this. And I'm just spitballing here, but what about cracks? Incorporations Capital flows, included, enormous Tailwind resulting in a favorable monetary position, offset by manageable. Headwinds from recurring expenditure and future-proofing the company with positive, net returns to our shareholders, But sir, there are no numbers in what you said. And what's an enormous Tailwind? Like I said, I'm spitballing but I want things like the economy and foreign currency exchanges, and interest rates. Those kinds of words. So not how much we made last year. Oh, you're not getting it. Yes. How much we made last year? The enormous amount of stuff we made last year? I am, you see, you're using a number to convey an amount. I'm expressing the amazing work. We do here. You can't capture work with a number. That's not the way numbers work but it's an annual report for the company that's exactly how. No, no, no, no. Look. If you can't do the job, I'll find someone else who can maybe somebody black. That would really look good for us. Okay, apologies. Maybe you could just give me some pointers and I will. All right, here's what I'm gonna do. I want you to use the follow Words to describe how much money we made last year for this report. Take all this down. All right, headwind. Okay, Tailwind. Tailwind. Sure left. Wind left wind. What's a accurate of yeah? Okay, mmm depreciate. Sure. Environment. You mean like the Earth or Market, or Net Zero? So, Earth neutral. Okay, medium, I guess. A normalize. I mean, Flaccid. How would I even use and Gorge? Okay. That is just fulminate. Wait, doesn't that mean violent? Protests try? 48. Okay, that's not even a word diversity. What are we describing and finally nematode? Sir a nematode is a type of worm, how are we? Thank you Stinson. We're done here. Before I get to a final sketch of the program. Let me once again, thank our business Pence corporates CSI in alphabetical order. They are Courtney Cook. Philip Hawk. Ashley kutzer and Mark McGee. Our last piece, brings us back to the leadership transition at Netflix. We are very happy to present to you a snippet from the conversation between Netflix co-ceo, Ted sarandos, and Netflix's in-house, corporate management, transition therapist, as they discuss the changes in Ted's life. As you will hear tonight, this is only part one of a series. when this first piece ends, Ted begins to talk about his education at Glendale Community College in Arizona. His new cosio. Greg Pete's went to Ivy League, darling, Yale University. So wait until a future episode before we dig into that particular trauma, but enough of this silly prattle, let's get to the therapy with Netflix Co Ted surrender. Hi, Ted. Hello. Is it okay to call you Ted? Yes. Okay, yes, great. Um, my My daughter joke today, that I was having a TED Talk. That's cute, that's funny. Yeah, I don't know why we told I was coming to this though. But we did. Great. I am Trudy stickler. I feel free to call me Trudy, or, or true. My friends call me true. so, before we begin, this is part of a corporate wide initiative to provide therapeutic sessions for CEOs. As part of a significant transition phase, during significant role changes, this session will be recorded for HR purposes, but will not be shared or disseminated with the public. I'm obliged to tell you this. I'm a licensed psychotherapist. This is a real therapy session and yeah, I just I just hope you can. Feel free to settle in to the experience just as you would if this were a therapy initiated on your own. Yeah. All right. I do have one. One thing that you say that this is because of the transition. The recent executive transition. I I'm the same, I haven't changed, I'm co-ceo, I was co-ceo Three years ago, I was co-ceo last week and I'm co-ceo. Now I haven't changed it all. so, it is a little I don't know, it's a little strange that They asked me to do this. I hear you. I did this three years ago when I changed to co CEO. but since I didn't, Share, you know, I'm not CEO. I'm not single CEO. I'm still I'm still. Oh okay. I hear you. I want you to know you're heard. but I also want to draw your attention to who is the other CEO. you are now transitioning from a former Co CEO. To a new CEO. Am I right? Do you not know how ridiculous that sounds? I'm not transitioning to anything. You're so you're saying I was this. I was a co-ceo and now I'm moving. To be a co-ceo. I think the point that I'm trying to make in the point that you are not hearing, is that the other, I understand you. Are a co-ceo but there are other co-ceos. That you. There's other co-ceos. How many cos CEOs are there? I only thought there were two now. Is that why I'm here? Are there? Try CEOs now? Okay, quad, CEO. Octo CEO. We're talking about relationships, Ted, can I just say one word? Fuck. Can I just say that you are, welcome to say, whatever words, you need to say, why is the little coat? And it's a little Coke when they put the one that's when it's written. The title is written. It's a little Co next to a big CEO and how does that, why am I not the big CEO? Okay, I'm hearing you, I'm feeling you as they say or why is Greg not the big CEO. Why are we both still codes? Happening to you on the inside, when you self-identify as Co. What feelings are coming up let's just name them let's just name them let's just put them right out there. Absolutely nothing. Nothing because it's a non it's a non position. Ted co-ceo is a non position like vice president, not not executive but Vice President of the United States, it's nothing position. Are you saying that your positional all along here at Netflix was a nothing position? Before I became Cosi, EO know, I think I did a lot of good before I became cocio but it's like they didn't want to, they didn't want to trust me with being CEO, so they made me Coe. And then when you know, when Reed left I thought for sure. Oh this is it I'm gonna be, you know, and no, I was still a coat. I think we're 0 something here, Ted. You wanted to be CEO? Yeah. I just said that I wanted to be CEO and you are not. I'm not CEO and nothing. I'm nothing. I'm noticing a real absolutist mentality with you. It's all or nothing. It's either. Yes or no. There's no gray area for you, is there Either black or white. Because that's what it is. What is Coco? CEO is is nothing, it's a, it's a, it's definitely a grayish sort of Blob thing. It's not a 10. It's not a real thing. Let me ask you this. Why did you accept the position giving the way? He'll Greg and ultimately BC. Yo, I'm sorry. Should I not have said that? Fuck. I'm not gonna kill Greg but I don't know. I don't know. There's just happened last week, so maybe I should, maybe I should Maybe I should go. I know what it is. It's the Community College thing. It always has been. We all boy say about metrics and we will be back tomorrow without this silly voice. I promise and please go ahead. Share this podcast with. Your pal.