Transcript
Hello, hello. Yeah, live from the field. From the backseat of Tik toks head of trust and safeties 2004. Toyota Camry terrible. Place to be somebody Chick-fil-A wrappers. It's the podcast. The Wall Street Journal called, Are those like dress pants? Featuring BS Maestro, mattress Guardian me. In today's ESG, sanctioned air guitar called March 2nd 2023. Business nuggets. I mean, I like to thank That the writers write each of those openings for you. Yeah, like individually. But I think I'm starting to think it's just an algorithm. I'm starting to think it's like chat. You worked it. We use a pork. in fact, I have been reading the Biden's first Biden veto was ESG related. And I think it's because of his fandom of us. I am not going to disagree, it has everything to do with us. He doesn't have time to Wade through all the State Street vanguardias. I mean, he just comes right to the source. That's true. I've been in contact with them today. Yeah he say and yes what now is this is an Aegis joke. You just did. Come on, let's get to it. Come on. Ready. I'm ready. I love nuggets. Sure. Warmed up my mouth in our Hey, Ma what? What did they say? What Ma Dad? What Headline of the week. Almost 2.5 billion people. Could suffer with hearing loss by 2050. Matt, whoa. Wait, for first of all, did you just make a deaf person joke? Uh, Kinda. Yeah. You know what, this is the one thing. This is what I would take that. I would take a hearing loss. It just seems like a nice peaceful way to Imagine how loud the World's Gonna Be in 2015. How annoying it's gonna be. I already watched Netflix with just the closed captions so yes, see you're halfway there. In our oh, another one. I love these. Hey, Ma is Dad sitting down. I've got some bad news for him and it sure as shit not about bananas headline of the week. Coffee. Bananas and chocolate could disappear from Irish shelves by 2050. Oh, wait a minute, why wasn't that done in an Irish brogue? I don't do that. I would love that though. Should there be bananas in Ireland know? It shouldn't be bananas in Ireland nor chocolate, I guess, you're right or coffee. All of those are tropical. Yeah. Grow your own stuff Ireland. You know, potatoes basically. In our strive Asset Management has been busy all night on the phone with its new head of media, Scott Adams. Oh, discussed the best Paul seat to combat this horrible headline headline of the week. Record number of Singapore's, new director role filled by women. Oh where's the meritocracy Singapore based to me? He doesn't sound like Merit. That's not excellent. Oh boys, a long one. In our The board celebrated at Wilmington. Hotspot Farmer in the cow. Is it real with a mukay burger featuring habanero ghost aioli. Onion straws. Avocado. Crema and pepper. Jack cheese. Sounds good. When asked why they didn't celebrate at the McDonald's. Located half a mile from the courthouse. The boards, longest tenure director and chair. Rick Hernandez said, do I look like some kind of asshole to you? He also said, look, idiot. We also just be a sexual misconduct oversight case. Despite our board having zero women in leadership positions. And Representing less than 19% of total influence. According to board saber metrics data. Rick. So how about you give me a break and let me go celebrate? Something that needs celebrating headline of the week. That was long is that was a lot McDonald's, directors, beat, sexual misconduct oversight loss suit. I mean, the real takeaway is they use Sports. Zebra metrics data. That's a real like this. Yeah. I don't even know how they got. How do they even get their hands on? You think we left to copy at a McDonald's? I already likes to eat at McDonald's so I imagine. Yes, Ah, in our that, that fatigued side is not bode well for the rest of the show. I would like to add however, that the banana walnut muffins. In our breakfast, buffet are moderately delicious and only contained Legionella bacteria at 1200 times the permitted level headline. This hotel Chief apologizes for only changing the water in a spa bath twice a year instead of once a week. Oh, that is horrible. They found 3700 times the permitted level Legion all bacteria. He said I was not aware of the law on myself and thought that Legionella bacteria was a common bacteria you can find anywhere. Yeah, I just find it on everything. It's over there. There's some right there. He also said that they didn't add chlorine to the water because we selfishly disliked the smell of chlorine. Is that what? that's, Wow. This is a yeah, this is in Japan. Finally, in this first part, first part one, A Part 1, a of our nuggets. Oh, my God, in our I guess they heard about the banana wal. Walnut muffins headline of the week. Matt cruise ships returned to Japan. Three years after deadly diamond. Oh yeah. All right I know a good spot for them to go to time for bird flu season. Yeah well you know you got a time things. All right what do you got? Isn't my turn. All right. In our wait. Do you mean large gay men or cocaine laced? Or is this just your run-of-the-mill brown black and grizzly, headline of the week? Met a turnaround could trap bears. Oh, I like that. You don't usually play with the headlines. I know I did. I did a little pure idiocy. That's no Insight know, you know, in our Obviously, I'm not talking about the anti-semitic unleashing or the anti-black or the kind of a swash stickers. Or the kind that impregnates half the office or the petulant kind of the kind of doesn't pay bills, or hates woke, mind virus, or fires, most of the stuff. Wait, what are we at leashing again headline of the week? Salesforce CEO, Mark, Benny offs message to leaders. Do you need to unleash the Elon within you? Should I unleash my inner Elon? Well, I mean, we don't have a lot of staff to lay off. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah, I mean, we could lay off 50% of them and it just percent in our, Dude, are you high yet? I smell is corn, syrup and shame. There's no way I can build this poang chair. If I'm not stoned, what is wrong with this glue headline of the week? Ikea to switch to bio-based glue to reduce climate footprint. Oh, they're gonna be mad about this. The anti-stick gonna be angry about this? It's not good, it's not good for that looks. It's a private company. It's they can't really go after Ikea, although they'll just stopped shopping there and there's their hoeing chairs. That's right. you know, our I feel super mad at working all the time, but all so ultra awesome about being rich. But also Wicked bombed about Splinter's and all. So Mega radical about melted cheese headline of the week. Mark Andreessen says he feels great after quitting drinking six months ago but he's super mad about being so focused and working until bedtime. Oh, that's the worst headline ever. So that's what that's why we got all those lousy investment decisions because he was drunk. I don't I didn't know if that meant he was an alcoholic or he just quit drinking because he think it seems to imply that right? Oh man, I have like a couple of drinks a month. Maybe I don't do. I need to quit drinking, I mean, if you quit drinking, maybe you'd feel better. I'm, I'll never feel better but not if you replace the drinking with, staying up until bedtime working every night ever, working investing in Mark Zuckerberg, that's not gonna make you feel better. and our These companies declare war with us, then it's War. Now, I'm off to buy pickles in a hammer. Hmm. Can't go to Best, Buy Home, Depot, not Macy's, not Target. Walmart Amazon chewy or eBay, or Etsy or Shopify, not even Alibaba because they're too woke. Know, Ultra cocoa, McDonald's Pepsi Starbucks Cargill. Hello fresh Jammer. I can't get my money out of the woke Bank either Ally B of A BMO City Berkshire, Deutsche TD, Wells Fargo, JP Morgan US bank PNC. First Republican was right Wars headline of the week. These 51, big businesses Target conservatives. Here's what you can do to stop them. Yeah. That's this is from that scary organization that is like dreaming, right about 1790 yeah, the 1792 exchange when life was good, right? I reached out to them to have them join the show. Yeah. Um, they were on Fox News. This is a Fox news story. They the subtitle of the story was these companies declared war on conservatives. Here's what you do. This is another organization that I tried to understand the methodologies, but I of course, zero, there's zero thought behind this. I mean, forget that my favorite part is that you literally can't go shopping. Like, there's ya know where to go. They said every place is woke everything everywhere and they threw in Walmart. Does anybody say like, you know what I associate with wokeness? Donald's Walmart like oh noticed that I was a strive Asset Management site to do today. I know that they're angry about the Business Roundtable all who put them in the world. Everyone's woke now there's nobody but not I think if you wake up in America you're doing something wrong. Yeah, you woke. That's correct. Now you're gonna it's over. In our, it's, in these times that I ask myself, what would an autocratic communist country? Do they would block internet access to stuff? I don't like, that's what headline of the week, Texas. Republican wants isps to block a wide range of abortion websites. Oh, oratory and that are we? Yeah, that's pure literally ten years ago. They were arguing about how China was blocking American company, right? Yeah. That is China. That's what we're doing. Congrats Texas, your China now. and finally, in our, What do you mean they look at data about cripples? Are you saying I just said in my book I wanted to Cripple cripple's, headlines of the week. DeSantis calls for crippling the ESG movement in new book. Oh, good for good for descent. I don't think he realizes that the data is often about Like differently, abled people? Yeah. Right. Okay, that's like a weird one. End up. Come on, let's wrap this up. This is part one B section c, I don't even know. Subsection D. Let's get out of here under 20 minutes. Biz nuggets, Matt, we're doing Biz nuggets. in our, Oppress filing with the SEC revealed on the same day that an Optimus robot was appointed. As Tesla's, new lead, independent director, headline of the week. Elon Musk predicts Tesla's. Humanoid Optimus robot will eventually outnumber humans. Oh yeah, not just tell you this funny side. Note to this article once again, Elon is a faker and a liar. Here's a little side, note to the story musk. First revealed Tesla's, Optimus robots in 2021 though, the Prototype was revealed to be a person in a body suit. I don't know how this guy has gotten so high in the future. I love the part of the Elon part where he says, anything anything you want. I mean he just says like, it's cool to say, we're gonna go to the Moon by 2030 and it's cool to say like Optimus robots will outnumber people and it's cool to say those things just say stuff. And then like The fact that the robot is actually a person in a bodysuit and his self-driving car was actually not self-driving. What that was though? Like I wonder if the SpaceX Rockets are all not real like they're all just like it's like a guy holding like a string and pulling up a little rocket looking model and being like And our wait. So let me get this straight so you're telling me we have to stop saying our empty pretzel bags. Cure kids cancer. Can we keep saying, our contrails cure athletes foot and underrepresented communities, in urban centers and western Africa, headline of the week? Advertising Watchdog says Luft tons, add made misleading environmental claims. Here's the, here's the slogan there were talking about Matt Connecting the world protecting its future. Oh really, that's the That doesn't sound like a deep greenwash. Their I've heard it was a overlaid by like a bunch of trees and Happy Frog. Okay that doesn't I don't know. Oh come on protecting its future an airline company. What are we doing? Look what's happening for 15 years? I read like sustainability reports in which like you know, caterpillar would have pictures of like a black kid and a white girl holding hands on a beach and it's, what are we talking about here? Does anybody actually think that a company that makes things that move large mountains of dirt? Is where about a black kid in a white kid holding hands on a beach. No one's looking at that being like all Lufthansa. Now I'm gonna fly them in our, From Vivic Roma's diary. Oh you But wait, if Starbucks is woke then, do we just trust them to assess their own labor practices? But, wait, isn't all labor woke anyway, but wait, is labor, woke or just labor? That wants more pay. But wait, what about black gay labor? That doesn't want to unionize? Are they woke? But wait, if Starbucks labor is woke in Starbucks management is woke. Does that cancel out the walk? But wait are outside assessments. Smoke shit. Wait, would it be okay if the outside assessors were a merit-based appointment? Crap. I better ask drives head of corporate governance. Just in danaher. He might have to pray on this one. Shit. Being president is already exhausting headline of the week. Wow, I love that diary, it's like Anne Frank ISS recommends Starbucks, shareholders, vote for outside assessment of Labor practices. Labor Halls ISS is woke. Yeah. Starbucks is woke. What will strive do here? I mean, how do you how do they assess this one? Because Starbucks is pretty damn. Whoa, let's be real. So wouldn't they want to penalize the woke company and make outside assessors come in? This is really confusing and Confused. They want to be anti-islanding. It's actually way harder than being. Yes. She because we're just and our Business Insider has officially run out of things to say headline of the week. Ready for this one. Passenger says Airline offered him an eight-hour bus ride to his destination. After his connecting flight was canceled. Well, how was that a headline? What is that bad? Can we not take bus rights anymore? Is that not a good option? Come on. Why we reporting on one guy having to take a bus? I understand. None of that. In our best public relations headline of the week, that doesn't even need a joke, headline of the week. This is bad. police say, Volkswagen Refused to track a stolen car with an abducted to your old inside after the thieves ran over the child's pregnant mother. Whoa! Until the owner paid a fee because her GPS, subscription expired. What? That a real story. This is all really. Yeah. All real. I folks. Wagon is blaming some third party here, but it's really all under that's pure and Sanity. That's crazy. This they had me abducted, two year old but then the thieves ran over. Yeah, it doesn't get pregnant. Again, mother does not get better after that part. This but you think they had abducted two year old is this worse than diesel gate or better. Like where is this fall in the Volkswagen Scandal list? Oh wow. Do you think this was picked up by an ESG rating at sustainalytics? It's a good question. They predicted this. And finally in business, I get March 2nd 2023. in our, Four-day work week. It's today, Work Week time headline of the week. We'll chat GPT, write our future ESG report. Yeah. What the hell not. They are it already. Does? You know that, right? Like are we why not? They fired everybody who writes a report over the last 10 years? Didn't you get laid off three times from? I don't think it was ever officially laid off. You were, you were just systematically laid off, voluntarily laid off. That's all we got for today. That was Biz nuggets. That stamina Ross. I'm at Scotty. We are free floats, tomorrow's Friday. We're gonna have to record really early tomorrow. No one cares about this, except for you guys because I am busy, I have a real job. Nobody cares about what you're saying and come back to tomorrow for Friday wrap until then goodbye.