Transcript
Live. Nothing. You don't you're already dead. It's been so long since I've heard this music. I forgot how much I liked it from the committee to unleash prosperities, very heterosexual mini golf course. It's the podcast that puts the silly into ESG. Matt, did you know that the S stands for silly? There's not that funny. Aren't I clever? That's really clever. Yes, I do think we should unleash more though. I we haven't Unleashed nearly enough. Featuring PS Maestro. Matt Mascari, that's you. That is me. It's just us. And today is ESG approved, bed skirt called May 18th 2023 Biz nugget. It's been a long time. I think the last time we did these were like, March, I'm feeling good. I'm gonna warn our listeners. That I don't think they're very funny, so if you want. Funny, turn off now, that's good work. Yeah, but if you're good Joker that Just misses hey, stay stick around. We've mastered that. Yeah. All right, you start this up? Okay, I'm sure go out. Oh yeah, let's go. Oh, you have a lot of them too. So let's go. Oh, starting from the right from the top. Your favorite in our, Hey, Ma. They finally figured out a way to combine my love for cinnamon. A1 steak sauce, sugar-free ketchup, kimchi pickled, relish and Nutella tell Dad, headline of the week. That's really terrible. Kraft, Heinz unveils customizable sauce dispenser with more than 200. Condiment combos for restaurants. What is that? Do you think actually, when they got to a certain number of condiments, they had to bring it to the board to get approval like we're about to go Way Beyond. Yeah. Saw 100. We have 160 combinations. Currently, we need border approval to go beyond this. You prove, is there a sauce committee at Heinz? Like a must be like a four-letter really should be, oh, kimchi. You mentioned kimchi in our, according to a company, spokesperson. We thought lowering the light and getting people trippy High. Would be the perfect way to distract them from how cheap. This shit truly is headline of the week. Ikea is holding Raves as part of new customer experience a lot about time. Actually, it kind of makes sense to me. I, I haven't been here very often. I have to go two hours of Boston, and when I was there an incredibly fatigued, just by walking in their incredibly bored? Yeah, it hurts your soul. I did think this might be kind of a fun place to break into it tight with your friends. Yes. 100% like crazy spill everything. Yeah. What do you mean? You don't like this living room. Let's go to the other little win. It's a real win. In our, the new product will be called I suck. Oh, and it's feature. Technology is the ability to set scheduled self-hate calls to berate yourself for sucking at life. Being a shity friend. Having chubby thighs, Etc. Headline of the week. Ready for this one. Matt Apple says your iPhone. Will soon be able to speak in your voice with 15 minutes of training? Well, that sounds scary to me. I don't like that dystopia. I don't know, I don't know about that one. Also, a little sad that it only takes 15 minutes to figure out what I sound like, and how I act and then to make you into, Go off into the world and be you. Yeah. All I was misled because I thought the I suck would be a vacuum cleaner. Maybe by Apple know, it's just like I, you know, I you suck. I suck. Yeah. We all suck. Yeah, everything sucks. You did. This was the mediocre in our Wendy's also announced or synergistic move. To start offering six 12 and 20 piece, extra crunchy, rat nuggets headline of the week. Oh, I don't know about this one. Wendy's is testing underground tunnels to deliver pickup orders so you can skip the drive-thru. I'm gonna be kidding me right. Why do we think if you dig a hole, everything goes faster, that's boring companies, whole premise is dig a hole. It goes faster. All I could think of as a combination between the titles, they build and Breaking Bad to get meth under the border and yeah and the boring company. Yes. Exactly. well, you're reaching out to get your Wendy's and now our anti-walk champion Vivek ramaswamy was not available for comment but was seen sobbing. Gently throwing out all the decor from his man cave, mumbling, first Walmart and now Target, I guess the only excellent left in retail is the shity Dollar Store headlong week. Target CEO says. D, e, i has fueled much of our growth over the last nine years. Oh wait. Does that mean Dei is excellent. Well, I guess it. Okay. That's, that's see. That's that's where this Paradox gets interesting, right. It my brain just flipped because it because I don't, it was not excellent. I don't think it seems to imply. It is. Well, that's actually a fascinating question. Is there any way that you can prove to Vivic and all the anti-esg people that actually, it is excellent. Well, he proved to us the reason why there wasn't Dei is because of systemic barriers put in place by years of education, that did not cater to diverse cohorts. He used critical race Theory to describe why there were fewer black people and women who are CEOs of Fortune, 500 companies. So If you can do that, then maybe we can use this data that shows Dei fueled or growth over. Nine years to show that Daya is excellent CEO. Brian Cornell said that doing what's right for employees in the company? Culture adds value for shareholders. How do they refute that? Wow. Well, how does how did he measure that? Come on exactly. in our, Elizabeth Holmes has filed yet another appeal to delay. Her prison sentence as she pitches Liz and Billy. And our two keep me out of prison babies to, to be in Paramount. Plus headline of the week, you call this one, Matt. The headline is reality TV to the rescue amid writers strike ABC and fox lean on unscripted shows. Yes, that is correct. That's all that's gonna happen. We're just gonna get Video cameras by idiot's held in random places and we're gonna put that on streaming. Well, we're ready. What about us? I know we haven't gotten a call from anybody yet. We're not gonna get a call and our over 84% of gen Z, Millennials would also switch jobs over non-organic tuna fish in the microwave smells headline of the week, really? The headline is over 40% of gen Z, Millennials would switch jobs over climate concerns. That's from that's from ESG today. Oh, wow. Biased. Well, I'm just saying. I'm just I want to plug them. Yes too. Is that only the oil and gas like Millennials. I don't gen Z years or where they going. Well yeah. What does that mean climate concerns? Like your company is investing in climate or like it's really hot where you park? Yeah. No I thought it was like like Larry keeps turning the thermostat down to 66 and I like it better at 71 that that's a good reason to leave. And finally in our Ron, DeSantis submits legislation to ban Ford SUV cameras for grades K through 12, public colleges and Disney rides headline of the week, okay? Ford is recalling more than 422,000 SUVs to fix the rear camera display. Oh, she was a butt joke. See what I did there. I did see that. Yeah, not my favorite joke. No, my favorite joke. Um, but my first instinct was to say, grades K through 12, they don't drive for its, that's that's that I woke is Ford woke for having a camera in the back of the of the car. I mean, a family-owned company that got bailed out during the financial crisis. That feels woke to me. Just feels like that level of disclosure and awareness seems woke or, I mean, listen to know when you're back. I mean, shouldn't it be? If you bought a car, you own the car, it's your private property, no one could call it from you. And if you happen to back in up into an elderly woman, like, so be it where we're trying to protect women now, like, what are we doing with this camera? What are we doing here? What are we doing? Really? What do you In our check out Jeff Bezos enjoying his 73%, influence over the Amazon boardroom with, or without his shirt on Headline of the week. Go check out the first photos of shirtless Jeff. Bezos enjoying his 500 million dollar mega yacht with his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, all I could think of Matt, is it, was there a day in the past where you were involved in some kind of pitch meeting, not necessarily with our company that. So one of the board members were shirtless Yes, that did happen. That was a real open with a shirtless board member once in real life IRL I I was also I like to think that Jeff Bezos has 100% influence over his 500 million dollar mega yacht. Yeah. So yeah but you but you you're you're just going right over the fact that I'm plugging our products 74% if it's a metrics. It's I'm so used to it now and don't really understand why people wouldn't buy this data that I don't even miss a beat. Yeah, I just, you cannot know the influence your CEOs and board members have over their Yachts without our data true. That's what I'm saying. In our, I can't believe I'm about to say this. But what happened to just porn and boobs headline of the week? YouTube recommended videos about guns school shooting and serial killers to researchers. Simulating accounts of young boys. Oh Yes. See when I was a young boy, I wasn't into gun school shooting in serial killers. There was I, yeah, I mean, I was into like fake laser guns from Star Wars, but wasn't everybody just looking to get their dad's copy of Playboy if you were a cisgender male. That sure. I can't imagine a world of my dad owned a Playboy though. So, well, my dad didn't either, but I'm just saying, like, isn't that the thing? Yes, your buddy Gus had one and you were like, where'd you get that? It was, yes. All right. Apparently, it didn't like that joke out of the show. Don't worry. That was great. That was great in our I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm very ill and I'm afraid that in my weakened condition. I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further School absences headline of the week. Oh, Apple says your iPhone will soon. Be able to speak in your voice with 15 minutes of training. Yes, the Ferris. Bueller effect. I like you. You got the reference one listener. Who probably was having a moment. So yeah. Is he really probably not. No, no, I don't think so and our Made it be mandated that here forth. With all business, shall be conducted with thy fingers, plugging thy nose and thous mouth closed to avoid even the nearest whiff of ghg emissions. For they do not exist headline of the week. Montana's new anti-climate law, may be the most aggressive in the nation. Anti-climate law. They actually updated their environmental reviews for projects laws. To. It was what they updated. Effectively, one line. A one-line addendum where it says future projects. This is already in their future. Projects will measure. Quote, the environmental impact of the proposed action quote, the adverse effect on Montana's environment and will use quote, natural and social sciences and ecological information. But now may not include quote and evaluation of greenhouse gas emissions and corresponding impacts to the climate. So they said use all your science. Like, think about how it's going to hurt Montana's environment, all that stuff. Just you cannot use anything that is in a mission. Look, I don't care about this long as they keep their unlimited speed limits. Their, the stretch of the highway, we can go as fast as you want. I don't care what they do. Well, that's staying. Yeah, in our clams. They want clams. This is Nantucket not some working class Cape Cod Bay. Bulshit tell them. We won't sue if they only serve puffer, fish, cheeks or else, I'm calling Dad headline of the week. Billionaire. Sues Nantucket, Clam Shack. Set to open near his house. Why? Why is he doing that? Okay, the billionaire in question here is Charles Johnson. Yeah, whose dad founded Franklin Investments and made him CEO of the company. Actually when he was 24 years old. Okay, talk about a nepo baby. Wow, yeah, this is the nepalis nepo baby in history. What's he worried about? He prefers muscles. What's going on here? He does not like he lives in the North Pole and they it's full of billionaires. They do not like that. The South Wales poor people now, is that what he said the Clam Shack Proprietors trying to get this done? Said this, it's a long quote but it's great quote. I get nimbyism. It's easy to understand if you're well healed enough to fund any protest, no matter how quick Sonic. I get why one would have the impulse, but when does it stop? Are we going to State? We going to the state Supreme Judicial Court next and frankly to what end to stop a properly Zone, commercial Enterprise in the downtown commercial Zone, Look some people end up in court a lot. I'm lucky enough to not have been one of those people up until now Mr. Johnson and the members of the old North Wharf North Wharf Co-op were pursuing other avenues of legal obstruction seemed to know their way around these halls and are far more experienced than I when it comes to suing or being sued by their neighbor's or business partners. Maybe I'm naive here but to me, this feels a lot like asking Dad after Mom already said no. Does the most well-articulated Clam Shack owner. I've shared a quote wasn't in tuck it Clam. Shack going. It's true. North Shore of Boston. Yeah. You know our Home Depot, co-founder blames woke diversity for businesses failing, to hit the bottom line, headline of the way. But what about Target? I'm so confused. Home Depot says it's 1 billion dollar boost to wages has already improved customer satisfaction and worker, safety, a bright spot and a gloomy q1 wait does that sounds very stakeholder capitalism. I'm just saying. One less than one month. After Bernie Marcus said that woke diversity was why the business was failing. They said to wokeness paying wages. Actually improve customer satisfaction and worker safety was the only bright spot in their earnings. So focusing on some of the other pillars of stakeholders actually. No, you cannot say the s-word, okay. S word is silly, true, not stakeholder. It's silly in our I'm not playing to do so, no headline of the week. Xsv CEO won't commit to giving up 10 million dollar annual pay. Well, you think he's just gonna Toss it into the ring, give it. I'm just saying. Here is the exchange, Elizabeth Warren asked, whether the CEO, I think the CFO were planting on giving up their pay. The CEO said, quote, I promised to cooperate, but did not commit to it. And the CFO said, quote, I'm not planning to do so. No, I like that. Well, they can blame Twitter, they didn't do anything wrong. I don't play anything to do so no. All right, let's finish this out with three of the same headline. I could not choose one. Wait, okay. So you have the same headline, three different jokes, three different jokes. This one concept, I love it. We're fine. Just like we are to the ESG industry where ESG 2.0, we are finally taking our nuggets to the next level. This is the Nuggets 2.0, right? No one, no one asked us to go ahead, you know, hey Ma my teacher said, I'll never amount to anything and I should just stop trying because I'm a stupid moron. Anyway, tell Dad headline of the week. Exxon robots proxy. Advisor says net zero. Emissions scenario unlikely. Okay, here's the quote from Exxon. Yeah, and this is kind of important to have in their Exxon says, and this is in rebuttal to Glass Lewis saying how to vote on a shareholder proposal quote, it is highly unlikely that society would accept the degradation in global standard, of living required, to permanently achieve a scenario like NetZero. Basically they said Society doesn't want to be less carbon friendly, so probably won't be. So we say, we're not going to even try. Oh, don't even try. Don't even try ready. Yeah, in our, my doctor said, I should stop eating ho-hos and anchovies for dinner every night since it'll give me diabetes and high cholesterol but fuck it. What are the chances? I listen to that. Anyway, right headline of the week. Exxon rebuts proxy advisors saying that zero emissions scenario unlikely. This is just getting weird. In our wait you know you mean Greg Goff isn't environmentally friendly well. What wait? Greg, John and he was an oil executive. How the hell did no one see this when we elected him to the board headline of the week? Exxon rebuts proxy advisors saying net zero emissions scenario unlikely. Oh, that's how we're wrapping it up. That's the show that was nuggets. You got Greg Goff back in our game. We haven't talked about Greg Goff and that was the engine number one pick, right engine number one golf. Very disappointing. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a ESG Champion, he's a pro environment Champion, he's a big win for ESG. In fact, his his Gregory page, now currently says he's the first environmentally friendly board member on a big Oil board. Seriously, that's what it says on his environment. He's in firemen totally friendly. Apparently, not that friendly because their chances that we get to a net zero emissions scenario are unlikely unlike and no one wants to degrade themselves by even trying to achieve it. That's our show. It's Damian Ross. I'm BS, man. Mattie do we can we come up with a nickname for you? Maybe we can crowdsource. This is our crowd ever. Listen to us that reach out, okay? I don't care if it's positive or negative come up with something. They don't raid us. They don't give us five stars. They don't write reviews that say, we love you guys, keep doing what you're doing. Have you ever done that though? I've done that once to us. I'm gonna say I have never done it but I think I did it to us once too. Maybe I asked my mom to do it too. Those are our three reviews that's all we got. Come back tomorrow when we wrap up it's only the two of us. Fired them. Both when I when I left West Hartford what happened, they were really terrible to begin with. Come back tomorrow we'll talk to you then goodbye.