Transcript
Yeah. Oh you came out hot you came out of you before the music there's that little delay excited. I've been off the last six months live from a CEO's bookmark. Okay. So bear with me, a CEO has a bookmark and that bookmark is called. There's a saying on it, it's labeled with I'm the greatest reader ever. Get, you know, to CEO ego joke. You see what I'm doing? Yeah, I got, you know, new terrific, Tuesday edition of business pants, joined by analysts whole mattress. On called September 9th. 2025 Biz nuggets. Yeah, you know what, though? Really it's not. I don't know if it's fact based kind of Base. Everything we do is fact-based this right. You know, we have a somewhat new cohort of listeners, I think, I hope this is where we're gonna lose them. They're gonna hear all our jokes, based on the headlines, and they're gonna be like, no. This is the show joke about companies. Shouldn't joke. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait, why are we listening to these people? This is serious stuff. What's not joke about it? These are important people. Let's not show Look, there's music. Our show today is being sponsored by free flow to analytics.com. The only platform measuring board power connections and performance for free free. I just had a long conversation with somebody who found us and oh, what, like, sorry for that free float analytics.com while you're talking with companies. So first time it's ever happened. Oh, come on. Second time. At least four. Do I have to explain nuggets or do we just do this? Nuggets. They're just jokes, they're just a bad joke, give us a break people once in a while we just want to tell jokes so when you go and watch Like The Daily Show like something, they have a team a production team of like 10 20 writers. It's more than that we found out that Scott Galloway. What's the podcast called? The pivot podcast? Hey, has his own team? They have like 18 people and here has 10 people. Like these people have like teams who do we have? We have team. Of. Us. Yeah, if you were able to watch online I don't know if this is brought the video is broadcast. But behind Matt over his left shoulder is a plant. That's our staff a plant. That's it was an expensive purchase and when you hear our jokes you'll know that a plant wrote All Over jokes. You ready? Let's go. You ready? Let's do it. I love this show. I'm gonna start with some same. Some Shameless, self-promotion. Speaking of free flow, analytics.com, this joke is kind of self-promotion. Shameless self promotion in our So what's theoretically possible? You cannot like someone on the board headline of the week that sounds wrong. Jim Cramer likes a casino CEO board member of apple and Corporation. So he's what he said, he said he's also on the board of app Lovin by the way, which makes me feel like app Levin's. Okay. So you see why I see what he did. So important. So bored person directors are important. Wow! Incredible! I don't even know his name. What? Shocking. And I don't even know what happened is. It's a horrible sounding name. It sounds like a horrible company. What's this guy's name? CEO. Doesn't even matter. Craig is the people don't make Billings that. Oh, it's Wind Resort CEO, Craig Billings. That's the guy that Jim Cramer loves a guy who runs a casino. I wonder if Jim Cramer will now buy shares of apple and because of this CEOs, right on the board of them, which validates our company and CNBC reach out to us, we'll do a show for you anytime. I know you'll put us at 2 a.m. I'm not gonna that what that was. Shameless self promotional let's move on and our of course, I'm independent you moron. I've only been on the board since Clinton was President not like Reagan or something. Not to mention. I've barely been chair for like a minute since Sol Bamba was President. He still alive. And look 20 million dollars is nothing CEO. Jeff Williams made 27 million last year dummy, headline of the week apples, chairman of the board sold more than 20 million dollars in Apple stock. How about that? 11 Cent. Yeah, our 117 or 11 independent chair in 110 been on the board since the Clinton Administration. Not 2000. Since not regen. He owns. He owns approximately 976 million dollars about Apple stock but Apple considers him Independence. Well, he is he makes independently independent decisions. Yes, completely independent. You know what? If we're if we're talking about why he's there, he's the holdover from Steve Jobs. I think they're hoping that he can Channel jobs because what is the Apple actually made since Steve Jobs? Die iPhone but Steve Jobs job created the iPhone iPhone, he created the earbuds. That was the last thing he basically created the fact that they've done without him, Tim Cook makes iPhone's Matt, but the and they just literally announced this morning, I thought, thinner, wow, what are we doing? In our, hey, Ma I just crashed our car. but if I promised to Not Crash It Again, will you give me a million bucks? Ask Dad headline of the week. See what's happening there. He he already crashed a car but he wants a million dollars to not crash it again, do it again right? The Tesla directors, who just proposed giving Elon Musk a trillion dollars Say it's critical. He stay out of politics. Oh, I see. So he he just had a disaster stint in politics, but there's no penalty trillion. They're gonna give him a trillion to stay. Do it again. Not do it. I do it again. What a world. Shit, Tesla shareholders. You cannot actually have a say in this. This is votable. Yeah, you can vote on this crap. November November 12th. I think. And our College Dropout and a racist walking to a bar. Oh bars, that's all good jokes. Start College. Dropout on a racist, hot mic catches Zuckerberg admitting his 600 billion dollar voucher. Trump was a guest Matt. You predicted this of course on Friday show didn't you didn't you. I did joke about this very thing. I joked that they would all go around and each one would say a higher number to sit to sound bigger than the person before them. So here's what the hot mic picked up on Zuckerberg saying he said to Trump, he said, oh gosh, Okay, well, this is what he said. When Trump asked him, how much money he's gonna give he said, oh gosh, I think it is probably gonna be something like, I don't know. At least 600 billion through 2028 in the US. Yeah, but the hot mic picked him up saying essentially that I hope that number is okay. I didn't know what to say. He said quote sorry I wasn't ready I wasn't sure what number you wanted to go with so I mean we're in the Land of Make Believe that's what we're doing. Yeah, I mean, is it that way you do is like good like like a toddler right at all toddler because a grown adult, especially one who is been through all the, the college courses might just say, I don't have that information in front of me right now, or how about simply, I don't know. Like, like, when I asked my 8 year old, did you break that they're looking at my face? Like what is the right answer? And what this is information that stock Traders are supposed to be trading on. I mean, this is This is he's making up numbers for Investments, actually, that's a good point, because making it up as of, like this week, they're up over 3%, right? And the, they had a big jumps day, like, when like the On September 3rd, which is like roughly when the dinner was right. Like we are talking about their making commitments that they know, they're not going to keep that as effectively manipulating their stock so that they can manipulate the president. I wasn't sure what number you wanted to go. Sure what you wanted to know that a number that Donald Trump doesn't work at the company, is he aware of the payroll know? Well, I mean, he hired like everybody all Trump's friends. All right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna finish my section and I hand it off to you on a really dumb joke. I'm apologizing for this one but I don't know why I did this one. And our The SEC proposes interim, CEO. To become a permanent sea Suite title. Headline of the week. CEO scandals viral, outrage, forces top Executives out. So you see what I'm doing there that in terms CEOs are going to be up is the video. Should have every company should have a permanent interim CEO because I thought that succession planning, we're in the age of like bet. We're in the age of horrible succession planning. We're boards are not reprimanded and we're in the age of male CEOs. Dating their subordinates? Yes. We see the age. We do do that. Yeah. What do you got? All right. I'll do a few. Yeah. They're not. They're not that funny or as good as yours in our hope. That's not out for themselves. Sounds bad. How can we make it sound? Almost like medieval cooler headline of the week? What Macho Valley and Saint Francis can tell us about the motivations of CEOs. Oh so once every year a headline comes out that compares like some studies done to see how CEOs are Machiavellian. In fact, this is what this study said. Yeah there are very high correlations between desire for power and CEO motivations. If anyone wants to stay depressed about CEO behaviors, specially Tech, that all the tech, Bros. All the boys, we talk about the call dropouts. See the movie Mountain head on HBO Max from one of my favorite writers, Jesse Armstrong, it basically encapsulates. All your fears and depression very well. Did they say Machiavellian in the movie? At all? Because I'm disappointed, otherwise keep going. Keep telling us jokes in our Bully. Who punched you in the face points, way to hospital headline of the week helpful. To help workers losing their jobs to AI. Open AI is launching a job's platform. Run by AI. I hate that Isn't that great? Yeah, I had a long argument yesterday with both chat GPT and Gemini, which is Google's AI because I was asking him a simple question about calculating steps when I was taking a walk. And they, and every time I asked they give me a different answer and I was like, who's right? And they were kept, they were arguing and I just like, what are we doing here people? All right. Now I'm gonna go their job board. Yeah. This is so was my local. Duncan gonna be paying 150,000 dollars an hour for for like making donuts or something. I here's a prediction. I'm predicting that in the next five years, we see an incredible rise in effectively. Homesteading in which people are growing their own to, like, build your own houses and structures. Grow your own food, like the zombie apocalypse people are right now, zombies though, it's AI. Now, you're pressing me, I keep going, okay. In our Totally my bad guys. I spent the summer with Bob Nye block our lead independent director on his boat, you know, we've known each other for so long. I was going on 14 years, I mean, between the Sun and the rose. A, I didn't notice. We had no money to pay you. That's on me, that's on me. I mean you're still fired and stuff but totally my mistake really? I mean, wow, I just totally blanked on that. Good luck with your lives but I mean, really my bad headline of the week. Yeah. I felt myself for not paying more attention, konoko CEO, tells employees, facing deep job Cuts. I mean, I gotta applaud. What's his, what's his name? What you got? The name there? Oh, is it? Bob Bob Ryan. Ryan Ryan land. I mean, you go to apply Ryan Lance for, for being pretty damn honest. Right? Well, okay, so, konoka Phillips is firing 25% of its staff one 25%. That's the 25%. This guy is not all so, resigning in description, resigning and disgrace. If you was in Japan, he would have resigned 1700 times already. He basically admitted that that because he was doing all these small Acquisitions of other like companies, and they don't have enough to pay. Everybody are, you gotta getting me this? I'm not kidding. He and he is humble enough to keep his job. And this is a man who has been on the board for 14 years with his lead, independent director, Bob knee block. For 16 years. Unbelievable. And I block the lead, independent director had three board positions as of like, up until like two months ago where he quit one of them. Unbelievable guys are well, don't wonder why they're so busy, not paying attention to actually paying the people who worked their shareholders. May, their last meeting was in May so you have to wait until May and when you're voting them out, laugh like maniacally. Like a weird like a weird. I love. I love it. It's on me for like I felt myself for not paying attention. What were you doing? you're just, Not part of your resignation letter, like I really screwed up here. I screwed this up. Yeah, sorry, he's a real people like with real mortgages, we're not funny. Come on, I don't know. Sad in our the board released a statement suggesting that the mistress to the CEOs mistress, what misled them into thinking? There was no wrong doing headline of the week. Fired Nestle, CEO Laurent free. Say freeze Frey. Frey fired, Nestle CEO, Laurent, mistress, caught him, cheating with another subordinate, in Swiss Hotel. So are they claiming? This is what happened. So that the first was, so, blowing complaint, didn't go anywhere, but then when she got mad that she was being cheated on, she reported again, it's unclear who's the whistleblowers, not public, right? Like this. So, we don't know who that, but the board, I just want to point out this board could not find any wrongdoing, right? They did their own investigation. This whole thing is crazy, the mistress to the mistress, figured it out and got pissed off. Well, anyone on the board and I'm looking at you, Paul bulky, who's the chair, who's the former CEO? Is anyone responsible for this? Anyone doing anything at all shareholders? Vote against somebody? Please look congrats to them for firing the guy because it happened when they were the guy, right? Like our bar is so low that they fire the guy and we're celebrating but but it is pretty comical. I'm doing one more and I'll give you a vocal cords a break. Yeah, I need a break. in our, The Department of Justice has announced a new investigation into whether Amazon. Alexa will only provide directions to woke destinations shares of Amazon, plummet headline of the week. What? Tylenol maker shares sink. After report, says RFK Juniors. HHS will link drug to autism? So this a drug that is again manufacturer. Yeah, four, 50 years, kenview Corporation, right? Kenview, fantastic. A bajillion times is one of what we know to be one of the safest medicines on the market. RFK Jr. Is now going to say it's linked to autism now can't shareholders, sue him. I mean, Or how does it work? I don't understand. How does he wear? I don't think, you know, he's not gonna have any science behind this, he the guys not even a, he's not a scientist doctor. Yeah. What's the equipment who take Tylenol when pregnant? Because it's the women's fall. If you take Tylenol when pregnant heaven forbid, you take a Tylenol because your ankles are swollen. You feel horrible, everybody. Part hurts because you're carrying another human life if you take a Tylenol while pregnant and have Like low folate. It's now they, he's claiming it's linked to autism. Okay. He's isolated it down that clearly he's done it. RFK Juniors. Done with no scientists. Could do sorry. Ken done it. I don't usually I don't usually apologize to companies. But sorry. Kenview. Good luck. I was a fun one. And you know, what can you see? Sweet board. You probably supported Trump anyway so I'm probably not. Probably yeah, that's your problem. Let's get back to the shows. Why, what was wrong with my? Some of those were depressed. And our my, I See I'm stupid. I am an insipid person so mine. I don't do. I don't dwell into serious topics. Like you Del dwell. See, I'm proving my idiot. See, right now as I speak an hour. Proxy vote where morality goes to abstain, headline of the week, Korean pension fund, balances profit and principles in US, proxy vote. I, like the I like where morality goes is people, we all know you're gonna vote against everything, you're not gonna, you know, we know, we know no one but everything it's over. We get it all the ESG proposals, you're gonna vote. No one. We get it. Yeah, we get don't pretend you principals. in our, are you done riding your little book for the day? Here's 10 dollars, headline of the week. And throwback to pay authors over 1.5 billion dollars for using their work to train, AI totaling around, 3,000 a book. So I did all the AI math and according to all their calculations the average book With all the, you know, all the research and proofing. Everything this this turns out to be about one to two dollars, an hour for the author wanted an hour. So congratulations authors and let me tell you, the founder of anthropic Dario emote, his net worth is currently about four billion dollars so good, this is good. Authors He's authored nothing. So there you go. Look. The most depressing part of AI, is that the thing is placed in his art, like what you mean? Humans placing humans. But the only thing that humans do that's like unique to humans, which is like draw shit and create stuff. That's what we've displayed in our in other news. Water is still irritatingly wet. Headline of the week. Yeah, it annoys me. Leaked DMS show, Elon Musk. Blatantly lying about self-driving. Safety. What what I mean? Come on now. Really. Wow. Nothing to see how is that? I was shocked in our CEO who created AI startup to cheat on homework. Complains that AI is destroying education. Headline of the week. Okay? Ready for the headline. Yeah, CEO. Who created AI startup to cheat on homework. Complains the AI is destroying education. I mean I can't tell a joke about that right? Okay, so here okay, I did I even have to do the research on this people but here I did the research for you. This is a guy named CEO. Roy Lee. Yes, he's a College Dropout, here's his quote on LinkedIn. The company is called Clueless. Clearly is building the ultimate conversation AI that gives you the answers. You didn't study for in every conversation. Wow. And they're backed by andreesen Horowitz, Jake, Paul and Executives from companies like open. AI, etc, etc. What a world. Don't You Love College? Dropout, men? I like that. That headline and the headline to help workers losing their jobs to AI. Open AI is launching a job's platform. Run by AI is basically the same headline. I mean, we're basically saying AI is just destroying stuff. And the people telling us that are the AI people and they're saying, let's use AI to fix the things that they're destroying. I mean, there is a Insidious plot here not to get a conspiratorial in the little like play. That played the Evil dog music but he really is all the rich dudes. All the call Drop Out. Boys are basically telling people don't. Don't put any. Effort into anything anymore. Give up. Don't study, don't do anything like all the colors we got, we got it saying they're the ones shiting on education in the first place, right? Like the ones who were saying like don't there's a schools he's flexing on studying he's saying like don't bother like just forget, I have to we'll just give you the answers, right? Yeah, just exactly it's fine. Oh, by the way, we're destroying education, it's fine. It's fine. Fine, and our Capitalism Now featuring free Wi-Fi headline of the week and only that you're not gonna like this one. The Godfather of AI says, AI will create massive unemployment, make the rich richer and Rob people of their dignity. This is Geoffrey Hinton. Who won the Nobel Prize for his work on neural networks. He says quote, which actually gonna happen is rich, people are going to use AI to replace workers. There you go. That's a fun. That's the least inventive like thing. You could have said like. Yes that's all I think. What Nobel Prize winner Geoffrey Hinton is telling people is pay attention like care about who's running these companies. That's what he's saying. He's free flow analytics.com. That's what he's saying. I stopped listening single. There's too many words in the headline and stuff, listening. And finally, I got a little game for you here. All right, this is only for Matt, the only Mac and play this. This is the Cigna CEO. David cordani nuggets pop quiz. Okay. Oh a quiz inside. Yeah, I'm giving you the options for the jokes the head. The headline is that the who the World Health Organization has adding weight loss drugs? Those glp that one weight loss drugs to a list of the world's essential medicines for the first time yeah I've been Central You know combating diabetes. Obesity here's your option for the joke, ready? Yep. Sickness CEO, cordony calls them, essentially not our problem. Okay. Who who says the drugs are essential cordani says, they're essentially a threat to his quarterly bonus. That's true. Okay, korda essential means lifesaving to who but cordani asks, when did Webster's change the definition of essential to profit killing. Okay. Good question. Good question. Who says essential. But CEO cordani says, my yacht is essential your pancreas is optional. Okay. I mean I think we have a winner. Finally, the who says it's essential medicine cordani says, essentially try kale it's cheaper. What's your what do you pick? I it's definitely my yacht is essential right here. I'm gonna remind people and I'm making fun of Sydney here. But this goes for all the companies insurance doesn't cover the drug. That who now says is essential, it's they've added to their, they don't cover this. Even Medicare doesn't cover Medicaid Medicare. Yeah, no, you gotta pay out of pocket. Good luck paying for that. All right. I ended up on down there sir. Yeah, it's almost like there's been any uppers in the show. Come on. Take us to take us out with these. All right, first, uh, in our Mary Barra. You know, Mary Barra? Yeah, CEO and chair, right? She's also cheer and chair now. Yeah. Ask that you not think of GM as just a car company, but as a tech lifestyle company, right before asking, for one trillion dollar PayPal package headline of the week, Elon musk's 1 trillion dollar, pay proposal redefining CEO compensation in the 21st century. Yeah, mostly, I just want everything we say about like a tech, bro, or Elon Musk just replace it with women's sale of like, yeah, a female CEO saying it or just 40 or point. I mean, I think that's a good point. But what about even a non-tech company? Just yeah, right. Have like the CEO of like whatever. Yeah. Like other companies in. Yeah. What if they said it? What they'd be laughing. Yeah. What if we suggested paying one of those people a trillion dollars? Yeah. They're it's a joke. It's a joke. It's not funny, jokes, not funny. in our, Seriously, we have no shortage of cousins and nieces and distant half. Children are succession process is incredibly robust and impregnating headline of the week on. Yeah. Tyson Foods says it has succession plans after Executives shocks Executives shock departure. Oh, This is the story at Tyson Foods the, um, their Chief supply chain officer, Brady Stewart. Yeah. Was actually, they said ran a foul of the code of conduct, they said, gave no other. Oh, that usually means a relationship with a subordinate as an interact. Usually means some sort of relationship, although it Tyson it also could mean getting drunk and waking up in a woman's a woman's bed, like, yeah, strange woman's bed. That, that, that, that guy, you just put on the board. So, that's, that's one of the cousins and nieces. That's what I'm talking about right Nader. Because, yeah, that's right. I know, I always forget Even in our stupid name jokes here. I forget that, that, that's despite firing John. I think it's our Tyson one of The Heirs for, for yes, for getting drunk and wanting up some woman's house. He didn't know getting arrested even after that, that they then they fired him but then they asked him back to be on the board of directors. I always forget that the conversation. Yeah, yeah. So Brady Stewart just so, you know, Getting fired. Really only applies to you. Because they have a robust succession plan that includes someone with the last name Tyson. We'll figure, we'll fill that role. Don't worry. It's spelled All right, in our, you ready for the next one? Yo. Yeah, I'm always ready. I could do this forever in our or until I Which is like 10 minutes, which is now in our I identify as Australian headline of the week. Oh, who is Lachlan Murdoch? The media prints, who would be king? Yeah, I mean, speaking of Jesse Armstrong, the writer, the great writer of succession who based it on the Murdoch family. I guess that horrible succession is over, right? They they bought out the other children. They killed 50, he gave him three point three billion dollars. Why 2050? Yeah, I don't know why. So 2050, we have a chance of wrestling democracy back from the look, my favorite family is that what my favorite part about this, and I'll read, I'll read the go ahead. And it's from the article is, you know, Fox News Fox Corporation. The reason why Rupert Murdoch wanted to go to Lachlan is because they want, he wanted to stay conservative, he's the only one of his children that he knew is just as insipid, conservative hatefully like conservative as himself. He was the one pushing for a lot of like the opinion pieces that were everything, you know. Like they think they got sued for And you know, Fox News runs constant stories about pronouns and like, you know, like anti-trans stuff and whatever, it's all over the place. This is how Lachlan Murdoch wants you to identify him. And I don't mean, by his pronouns, this is from the article would be woke. Yeah. Now, the global Murdock Kingdom will fall under the control of an intensely private for former philosophy student. A New Yorker turned proud Australian who transplanted his family, to Sydney, right, Mr. Murdoch has frequently talked about Australia as his spiritual home. Yeah. And he said quote, I'm Australian, right? That's how I see myself. This is very woke this is all very woke up politics. Yeah. He's not even I don't even think he's a citizen of all he could buy that. I'm sure but he wants you to identify him as Australia. This is beautiful. That's his pronoun. What else moment there for? It's simple. Lynn Murdoch. Yeah, I'm pointed in this succession that they, I didn't even see this one coming. They because the worry was that the the other heirs would get voting control. But so what you left out of that Matt is that they're getting cash but they've seated voting control, they gave it all damage. Yeah, like Trump with Intel, right? Trump. Trump has ownership of Intel but he can't vote on anything, right? We know that James Murdoch, who is on the board of Tesla? Oh, yes, but not like, as concerned crazy conservative old, but they had concerns about like the future of democracy and shoes and all that kind of stuff that should. Yeah. The way that they dealt with that was by taking several billion dollars in order to trade it for democracy. Yeah, right. Think about that. Think about how deeply did we really care? We concerned but just give me all the money continue giving us money for doing, absolutely nothing. In our you feel good now. No good. how about these two in our Men are back, baby. Hello, line of the winner back. Good. Men or back. I love men. Here's one, Trump's Epstein letter and drawing from birthday book released. Just so, you know, the drawing was of a naked woman and the pubic hair was his signature. Donald Trump. Signature. I forget really gross Epstein. How do you make all this money? What did he do? Real estate, Banker. Real Estate guy investor. It's kind of like the old-fashioned Tech bro, right? Was yeah, in the 80s and 90s it was all like New York, real estate dudes Bros, right? Yeah, Bros. Yeah. Real estate dude, Bros. And finally, let's end on this. Yes, men are back, baby. Hello the week. All right. I love a part two. Yeah, men. Good. Men are having a moment. I love this. Having a moment. Here's the headline. I'm gonna punch you in your fucking face. Oh, Scott. Besant threatens and administration rival. That is, are you serious? Secretary treasury, secretary. Scott Basin who is a gay X. Democrat who worked for Sorrows is billion of Sorrows the billionaire sorrow. Yeah, he worked at his fund, he threatened to punch a nepo, baby conservative, who is heading the like Housing Finance division for Trump in the face. He threatened to punch him in the face because that's what men do. We punch you in the face when we disagree. Oh my God. I don't she's this. I am speechless after that. I'm speechless. Men are back baby. Yeah, good. I'm like I'm glad men are back. That's all we got. Enough. Let's play. That's enough. That's hazelnut Ross. I'm an old soul. Matt miscarriage. We are free float. If you want to come back on Thursday, we've got a proxy countdown. We are doing the Tesla thing. Oh, you sure? Yeah, we gotta do it. It's got to go through the PayPal package. We got to get out ahead of this thing because it's coming and we're gonna start our proxy season off with that. So, that's our Thursday show on Friday. We'll wrap up the week tomorrow. You actually can hear about Tesla from Mike and Anne on the shareholder pricey podcast. If you want an informed take, I mean we have data but they're actually smart people, right? Like so you listen to some smart people until then good. Bye.